Is this year the worst year of your life?

[AbsentmindedWoman]

It's a shit year, I think virtually everyone would agree. But is it the worst you have lived through?

I'm bored, frustrated, and because I am chronically ill and depend heavily on access to specialist doctors for time-sensitive treatments, have a constant level of background anxiety in case SHTF and my doctors are forced to cancel. However, for me it's not the worst period of my life to date.

What about you? I'm interested in different perspectives on this, as we all are coming to the situation from very different places.

I had a bad asthma attack at work on Monday. I’ve been telling everyone who has been worried about my clinically extremely vulnerable status I could die of asthma and not Covid, and nearly proved myself right and to stop fretting about me.

When my asthma is bad my quality of life is poor. I can’t do much of anything and I fight to breathe and it hurts sometimes. But still I think, “I can always sit and read those books I’ve never had chance to read.”

I count each day as my last really, and I’ve faced death in the face in 2017. I know how my story ends, it will sneak up on me when I can’t get help and my inhaler won’t help me. it will be over in a matter of minutes, and therefore I should imagine my suffering will not be a long and horrible death.

But even Knowing this and nearly going through it in 2017, and with all the misery of shielding, This year is not as bad as all those years I dealt with my mother’s alcoholism and suicide.

Every day is a gift now. I count my blessings, I don’t see it that I could’ve died on Monday. I see it that I’m bloody lucky we have some shit hot first aiders on site and Emergency O2.

My death is going to be really upsetting to my DH and our 3 kids and would make this year their worst year of their lives. That upsets me most. But I will be dead and it won’t affect me when it happens.

The worst times are always when we have to cope with the loss of loved ones.

No far from it. The year my DM died a distressing and harrowing to watch death from throat cancer, I found my ex had been defrauding clients and from me and my parents. I ended up homeless, responsible for half the mind-boggling debts he had built up and filing for divorce which he turned into a nightmare. I was a total wreck and spent the next 5 years rebuilding my life from scratch in my late 40s. I’m worried about catching COVID ans my DC and DBs catching it but it’s nothing like the hell i went through while my DM was dying and the horrible discoveries I made about my ex shortly after .

No, it's close, but there was a year we were very poor, paying rent and a mortgage, eating cereal and pasta, going for weeks without heat, keeping the kids off school when we couldn't afford petrol. Then we were told the landlord was selling and there was nothing for rent we could afford. One week later we got a letter from revenue listing issues with the apartment we own in terms of tax and saying we had months to give them over 20,000 euro. My dh started interviewing to go work in Dubai to make more money and I had my mum crying most days asking could me and the kids stay in Ireland. My sister and my mum both got sick. This year has been very tough but when I think of that year I'm so grateful for life as it is now

2016-2017

One of them yes, because of covid of course but mainly because my Nan died and she meant the absolute world to me. It broke my heart and covid certainly hasn't helped matters however it's not the worst year, that was 2014 when I went through a terrible divorce, a suicide attempt which ended with me losing primary custody of my ds then aged 3 as well as being homeless and the onset of tinnitus which I still have now. How I survived that year I'll never know.

No 1987 the year I went to hell and back because of family, I still have nightmares they are in my life.

My worst year was 2016, closely followed 2017. Deep in depression/ anxiety and subsequently PTSD, dragged through court for everything during divorce, I thought I’d loose dc at one point. I had no idea how I was going to get through it. I was haemorrhaging money on legal fees. Just awful.

Every year since has been tricky in many ways, nothing will ever compare to that 18 month period. I have my health. Lockdown forced me to rethink what’s important, whilst I’m buggered financially and my 18 month forecast is way out, we’re all healthy, we have a roof over our heads and touch wood we’ll make it through relatively unscathed.

It has been pretty shit, but a lot of good things have occurred for me too. Definitely not the worst. I am sorry for your loss green and it has to be so hard hearing folk moan about wearing masks or not being able to go to the pub etc.

Happiest year for me. Baby was born after years of infertility and IVF. Jobs are safe and family all well. Shame I can't have usual maternity experience but I'm so grateful for what we have that I don't mind being isolated and indoors for most of the year.

I've had plenty of crap years so thoughts are with anyone who may be struggling right now.

No - 2013-2014 was very very tough for me, and then 2016 was very hard as well.

Each time I just pushed through it all and kept going and going without letting myself dwell on anything, then each time when things started to go back to normal I felt something inside me shift and felt like I was close to having a breakdown.

@stitchinguru so sorry for your loss too

I have a chronic illness and started the year severely anaemic and very ill indeed
Car broke down on New years day. Garage broke it while trying to fix it, lengthy legal battle over 4 months
Dad died in March after lengthy illness, I was with him when he died
Brother reacted badly to his death and tried to commit suicide
Diagnosed with grade 3 breast cancer in April. Treatment plan severly impacted by chronic illness
Went through all treatment alone as was in the height of lockdown
Autistic son moved out to live with his dad as he couldnt cope with my illness
Husband lost his dream job due to Covid. He has Bipolar and had a complete meltdown
Severe financial stress due to illness( was on SSP for almost 4 months due to cancer)
Went back to work way before i was ready
Just been diagnosed with severe depression and PTSD due to the last year, but have to keep working
Endoscopy has just shown bleeding and multiple polyps in stomach. Awaiting biopsy results.
Husband has just lost his job again due to Covid.
Shit is not the word. There are no words. No idea how im not in a psych ward.

@AbsentmindedWoman, I like this thread - shows what people can make it through and how resilient we can be. Would love for some of the Covid doomsayers to have a read instead of enveloping themselves in a warm blanket of fear and misery.

No that would have been 2003 when I was 12 and my dad died from metastatic bowel cancer and my mum had breast cancer so when my mum was recovering from her major surgery she shared a room with my dad who was having chemotherapy at the same hospital (perks or private health care in 2003) so 2020 has been bad as I'm a critical care nurse but nothing will top 2003 as a shit year

@Greenbks

Nope. my mental health is a bit shite and I’m having work issues but I’m so so grateful that my family and friends are healthy so far.

My worst ever year was probably when my dad died, far too young and I really feel for those people who’ve lost people this year with COVID fucking up the grieving process.

@Redannie118 I also have no idea how you are still standing.I can only hope your year starts to improve

Have only read the OP

1994- First brush with cancer, radiotherapy and a massive and I mean massive scar that runs in an L shape from my ear down to my collar bone.

2001 - Heart fails post partum, told all of the following whilst still in hospital and in one consultation, this is irreversible, you will be on drugs for the rest of your life, by the way you can't breastfeed on these drugs and by the by way, no more children. All delivered by men in suits with perfect precision and no empathy.

2003 - DH goes deaf

Longish break...

2015 - Throat cancer , long story short I can no longer eat or enjoy food properly.

2019 - As the posting name suggests Finally Fluid and starting to deal with limited eating and getting a sense of rhythm to my life, and I am diagnosed with breast cancer, all hair gone.

2020

Locked down with a roof over my head, and food on the table.

You decide.

No, not the worst by any means. A lot of it doesn't seem real to be frank; I'm aware of all that is going on but feel distanced from it.

I'm not even sure what the worst year of my life is, but it definitely isn't this one.

Just a few years ago, I was in a sales career I hated. Every Sunday evening I'd watch the timer slowly count down to another week of anxiety. I'm finally settled in a new career and still being offered contract work weekly, although I'm happy with my current employer atm.

I'm actually hoping I get a few weeks of furlough to chill out as it's been six months since my original brief stint and I've not had a day off since.

No, I can honestly say it isn't. It hasn't been easy, but it is far from the worst I've experienced.

Omg, no. I've had many worse years, and I have lots to be grateful for.

No. The year 2012 was quite probably the worst year of my life- my daughter died 31 Dec 2011

No this isn't the worst year I've ever had. Covid and its repercussions is a challenge, but I have resilience thanks to other challenges I have faced in my life.

Awful year.

I was cheated on, dumped, ghosted then blocked by my long term boyfriend due to not being able to see him for a bit during lockdown.

Eventually found out he cheated on me with a rather rough woman and got really worried that I might have contracted an STD so had to arrange a test (not easy). Fortunately negative.

Atounf the same time, in separate incidents, I managed to fracture both my kneecap and my cocyx, and was unable to access healthcare for either.

My business lost loads of money I will never get back due to lockdown and is still on a shaky footing.

Single and lonely, I tried Internet dating and have so far had to block 8 men for reieatedly talking about sex and nothing else.

Can't socialise to meet people as normal so likely single for a while.

OTOH I found that I'm both remarkably mentally and physically tough. Further lockdown and singlehood holds no fears for me, in fact nothing really scares me at all now, because I've been through so much.