SIL and DB moving in with ex kids and DSIS

[OdeToDiazepam]

AIBU to struggle to get my head round this.

Recently broke up with long term bf, it was a very upsetting break up and although we are still speaking and have seen each other a bit since things are still raw and up in the air.

He's announced he's going away on international travel for 4 weeks through lockdown, and is paying a huge sum to my DB and future SIL to stay at his house with his kids, while his sister is flying in from abroad who i or family have never met and she'll be staying there too? She's also being paid.

I know my DB and Fiancé need the money for the wedding, but I'm really struggling to process this. I don't think it's the best option for the kids as they barely know them and don't have kids of their own. They're just the cheapest option. On top of that when I'm trying not to think about him and focus on myself I've now got 4 weeks of 2 people I'm very close to, living in the house I just moved out of with his family?!

They've basically jumped at 2500 in a matter on minutes, to loon after 2 high needs kids while they're only parent is across the Atlantic during Covid

Are the kids your kids too?

No they're his adopted kids

This is mental.

I know, because he didn't want to pay for professional childcare.

This is absolutely nlt your business. Your relationship with your ex has no bearing on the relationship with your brother and SIL

He is an awful human being. Those poor kids.

If they’re not yours there’s not a lot you can do about it.

Hang on so you’d be happy for them to be with childcarers they don’t know rather than you db who they do know a bit?

This is easy. Pretend it is not happening.

You have broken up therefore what your ex does for childcare is none of your business.

Your DB is taking on some extra work to help pay for his wedding. How he earns that money is also none of your business.

Grey rock the hell out of this.

It has obviously been done to reel you back in. It is working. Resist. Stop contact with him completely to get your head straight again.

Is their mum not around?

But I'm very close with my dB and future sil is like my best friend, they were there for me when I was in bits just last week,

And then at the offer of this money they've now got me further involved indirectly for another bloody month

If they’re not yours there’s not a lot you can do about it.

Not to mention there's a pandemic and things could go wrong! Yeah I'm slightly uncomfortable that two people so close to me are going to be living where I just moved out of with his sister for the whole of lockdown

He's their sole adoptive parent

I normally talk to future SIl all the time, she's a huge support to me, and yeah it's a difficult time atm, now I'm not going to effectively be able to speak to her for the whole of lockdown

Yes I will have to grey rock

You can’t control other people or how they live their lives. I think what your feeling is a bit hurt by your brother seemingly supporting your ex when you want him in your side, that’s all totally understandable but there is still little you can do.

I just feel like they've not considered how I might feel when I'm trying to disconnect from him and heal, we literally only broke up one week ago today

I do understand how hurt you are feeling. You feel letdown because you need support from your family after your breakup and they’re choosing to help out your ex. Talk it through here and like others have said grey rock.

You can’t control other people or how they live their lives. I think what your feeling is a bit hurt by your brother seemingly supporting your ex when you want him in your side, that’s all totally understandable but there is still little you can do.

Be thankful you broke up when you did. Otherwise you'd probably be the one spending the next month looking after those children (for free) while your bf buggered off on his trip.

Sounds to me like your ex is using them to get you back and DB and SIL are playing along deliberately.
Or
Ex expects you to object and come back for the month to give free childcare.

Be thankful you broke up when you did. Otherwise you'd probably be the one spending the next month looking after those children (for free) while your bf buggered off on his trip.

They haven’t got involved.