SIL and DB moving in with ex kids and DSIS

[OdeToDiazepam]

AIBU to struggle to get my head round this.

Recently broke up with long term bf, it was a very upsetting break up and although we are still speaking and have seen each other a bit since things are still raw and up in the air.

He's announced he's going away on international travel for 4 weeks through lockdown, and is paying a huge sum to my DB and future SIL to stay at his house with his kids, while his sister is flying in from abroad who i or family have never met and she'll be staying there too? She's also being paid.

I know my DB and Fiancé need the money for the wedding, but I'm really struggling to process this. I don't think it's the best option for the kids as they barely know them and don't have kids of their own. They're just the cheapest option. On top of that when I'm trying not to think about him and focus on myself I've now got 4 weeks of 2 people I'm very close to, living in the house I just moved out of with his family?!

I agree with whoever advised grey rocking the hell out of this one.
Extract yourself and let them get on with it. Be glad it

...is nothing to do with you. Hooray!

Sounds to me like your ex is using them to get you back and DB and SIL are playing along deliberately.

I expect ex expects you to object and come back for the month to give free childcare.

You wouldn’t be seeing them anyway in lockdown.

@OdeToDiazepam

Not to mention there's a pandemic and things could go wrong! Yeah I'm slightly uncomfortable that two people so close to me are going to be living where I just moved out of with his sister for the whole of lockdown

What does that have to do with the Pandemic? You are just upset because they are still close. Own it. What happens in that house is absolutely none of your business. None

...is nothing to do with you. Hooray!

I agree with whoever advised grey rocking the hell out of this one.
Extract yourself and let them get on with it. They are all idiots and that’s up to them.

This is absolutely nothing to do with you. No one is doing anything wrong here.

They're not close at all! He's barely spent time with them and they don't even like him much!!

If he IS using this as a way to get you back or gain your attention, disappoint him by completely ignoring it.
If it’s just a stupid, selfish arrangement that is sure to end sourly, still ignore it.

I find this very weird.
Was your DB close to your Ex and his GF?

Are you close to your DB?

I agree that none of them have considered how you might feel about it... and tbh £2.5k isn't nearly enough for looking after 2 kids with their needs.

Money can make people do all sorts..

@OdeToDiazepam

Not to mention there's a pandemic and things could go wrong! Yeah I'm slightly uncomfortable that two people so close to me are going to be living where I just moved out of with his sister for the whole of lockdown

What does that have to do with the Pandemic? You are just upset because they are still close. Own it. What happens in that house is absolitely none of your business. None

My future SIL is one of my best friends, she's never like him that much. Im close with my DB and he's never been sure about my ex. They've not spent more than polite conversation time with each other

If he IS using this as a way to get you back or gain your attention, disappoint him by completely ignoring it.
If it’s just a stupid, selfish arrangement that is sure to end sourly, still ignore it.

The pandemic means there may be travel restrictions? Delays? What if he catches it over there travelling around all these states or the kids may be affected, I don't know i just think it's risky, he's left them before and then got delayed, barely spoke to them, they acted up at school and home because they thought he'd abandoned them and that was with his mum who they're close to

Yes I know it's not my problem but this is exactly it, I feel like it's a burden on me because yes I'm worried, my close family are bloody directly involved so now thanks to it all it's kind of hard to put him out of my mind completely but yes I will try

They don't have kids the most they've done is babysat for a couple of hours

I find this very weird.
Was your DB close to your Ex and his GF?

Are you close to your DB?

I agree that none of them have considered how you might feel about it... and tbh £2.5k isn't nearly enough for looking after 2 kids with their needs.

Money can make people do all sorts..

This makes little sense.

You lived with him and kids he adopted with someone else?

Poor kids.

Yeah he adopted them years ago

@OdeToDiazepam

Yes I know it's not my problem but this is exactly it, I feel like it's a burden on me because yes I'm worried, my close family are bloody directly involved so now thanks to it all it's kind of hard to put him out of my mind completely but yes I will try

Did you leave him because he is a manipulative selfish dickhead who uses his kids as weapons?

So the children aren't yours? Why are you annoyed and why do you think it is your business ?.

How long did you live with him?

I think there is more to this story about the adoption of 2 kids while single. I have no idea how adoption agencies work but he doesn't sound like the right person to have kids - frequent travel etc - but that's none of our business.
Sounds like your DB is doing this purely for the money as your ex needed a roof over their heads, plus his DSis is going to be helping. Did he really have no other choices? What other 'professional' care would there have been? At least they will be in a family environment.

Am confused who's house it is, your ex's or your DB's? Anyway, you are not involved or expected to be. I get that you're upset over your DB's split loyalties but these are difficult times. Don't get dragged in.