SIL and DB moving in with ex kids and DSIS

[OdeToDiazepam]

AIBU to struggle to get my head round this.

Recently broke up with long term bf, it was a very upsetting break up and although we are still speaking and have seen each other a bit since things are still raw and up in the air.

He's announced he's going away on international travel for 4 weeks through lockdown, and is paying a huge sum to my DB and future SIL to stay at his house with his kids, while his sister is flying in from abroad who i or family have never met and she'll be staying there too? She's also being paid.

I know my DB and Fiancé need the money for the wedding, but I'm really struggling to process this. I don't think it's the best option for the kids as they barely know them and don't have kids of their own. They're just the cheapest option. On top of that when I'm trying not to think about him and focus on myself I've now got 4 weeks of 2 people I'm very close to, living in the house I just moved out of with his family?!

If you had a serious longterm relationship with him and are so close to DB and SIL, why is it they barely know each other?

I think there is more to this story about the adoption of 2 kids while single. I have no idea how adoption agencies work but he doesn't sound like the right person to have kids - frequent travel etc - but that's none of our business.
Sounds like your DB is doing this purely for the money as your ex needed a roof over their heads, plus his DSis is going to be helping. Did he really have no other choices? What other 'professional' care would there have been? At least they will be in a family environment.

Am confused who's house it is, your ex's or your DB's? Anyway, you are not involved or expected to be. I get that you're upset over your DB's split loyalties but these are difficult times. Don't get dragged in.

I think there is more to this story about the adoption of 2 kids while single. I have no idea how adoption agencies work but he doesn't sound like the right person to have kids - frequent travel etc - but that's none of our business.
Sounds like your DB is doing this purely for the money as your ex needed a roof over their heads, plus his DSis is going to be helping. Did he really have no other choices? What other 'professional' care would there have been? At least they will be in a family environment.

Am confused who's house it is, your ex's or your DB's? Anyway, you are not involved or expected to be. I get that you're upset over your DB's split loyalties but these are difficult times. Don't get dragged in.

Actually from his point of view, this is the best solution because he knows if DB and SIL have problems with the children while he is away they can ask you for help.

My concern wouldn't be for your feelings, it would for those children

He adopted them "years ago". So how old are they?
How long were you with him.
I'm finding this hard to believe tbh.

My concern wouldn't be for your feelings, it would for those children

He adopted them "years ago". So how old are they?
How long were you with him.
I'm finding this hard to believe tbh.

He adopted them "years ago". So how old are they?
How long were you with him.
I'm finding this hard to believe tbh.

Nearly 11 and nearly 8

If he is the sole parent of these adopted kids, and he has chosen to go abroad during a pandemic just to travel (how is he going to do that?) I wonder what social services would say?

This doesn't add up.

He didn't adopt them in this country, there's virtually no monitoring at all from what I've seen anyway

Apologies for the duplicate posts!

Why are you labeling them adopted? Aren't they just his kids?

Because they are adopted.

It's relevant information because they have more complex needs

I have read the OP a few times so I get I may be missing something but I can't work out why any of this is any of your business?

How old are the children?