I’ve got this old sofa, charities aren’t collecting, no one will buy it so I’d like to donate it to someone in need,

[Nosleeptilteenagers]

AIBU to be fed up of the amount of people attempting to get rid of their old stuff by virtue signalling on social media?

My fbk is full of it. Literally every other post on my local pages. I get people want to do good things but if you’ve got some baby stuff to donate then googling local baby bank is probably the best option. No one would tell you what a lovely human being you were then. Or put it on marketplace for free, people will want it. How do you judge who is “in need?” you can’t. You just want rid of it and to get some kudos.

Plus it coincides with a local lockdown and charity shops being closed and not collecting!

You are being unreasonable in accusing people of virtue signalling.

@myusernamewastakenbyme

Im always surprised at people selling stuff on fb for £1....why in gods name would you bother...all the messaging...arranging a time....waiting in for someone to turn up...for a bloody £1....just put it in your wheelie bin.

I'm one of those £1 sellers.

Don't do Facebook, so for me shpock.

I sell, to make a little bit of money. If its DC item (toys, clothes) it goes into thier money box/savings. We use it for days out, new toys, pocket money etc.
If its a household item, or mine etc - it goes into my savings jar - for luxury items if I wish (skincare, a candle etc), paying a bill, if we need milk or bread etc, dip into the jar.

If you sell 10 items for £1, there's £10 you wouldn't have.

I also tend to leave items outside for collection and trust that people will be honest, hasn't failed me yet.

If for some reason I CBA to list, then I leave items out on my front wall, with not "free to take" 9/10 they go.

Anything that remains after a while goes to charity shops, or for free on olio.

I will do all I can to keep items out of landfill and keep the planet healthy for the next generations, plus you never know when your financial luck will run out, we had a terrible time recently, and my £1 sales kept us in food.

You'll be surprised what people actually need.

Now whenever we want anything, we check sphock locally first.

This thread has reminded me of the wardrobe I was trying to give to the BHF shop, but they never came to pick it up and it’s sitting in my conservatory. Just stuck it on FB marketplace and it’s been taken within 5 minutes, so thanks for the inspiration, win for me! tries not to virtue signal

@BolloxtoGender that's fine, you're just giving it away with no value judgement on the collector or requirement for them to be 'in need'. The virtue signalling is when you make out publically that you are doing the collector a great turn.

We give stuff away too but with large furniture items I don't kid myself that it helps me out by not having to pay the council £15 to take it away....

I also benefit by feeling good about recycling but other people don't need to know that I feel good about recycling.

Ps. Agree with op, and the family in need bit, is OTT and uncalled for, of course everyone would love items to go to people in need, but whoever ends up with the item is obviously the person who needed/wanted the item.

To be fair my favourite is when someone is giving something away for free and people are like "can you deliver?" Bit cheeky

Another vote for Freegle

If I don't think something is suitable for the British Heart Foundation or similar, (no fire label, too tatty) I put stuff outside - this year I've got shot of a sofabed, a bookcase, two love-seat thingies, two chairs, some framed pictures, a sled, an enormous mirror. If no-one asks within 48 hours, I call the council for their large item collection and I pay to have the items taken away. I suppose this would be harder if you live in a flat/don't have a bit of extra muscle to carry large items outside but it seems to work quite well so far.

And I assume that the people who can be arsed to carry off my enormous 80's sofabed/giant IKEA bookcase must, by definition, have need of them!

Thank you @goteam.

It does make me cringe though all the public fawning, and faux outrage, on social media generally....and none of that on Mumsnet .

I consider anyone who wants my second hand kids toys welcome to them. They don’t have to be “in need”, maybe like me they just have an only child and no need to buy new for something only age appropriate for a couple of years.
Or maybe they will sell my stuff on for a profit? Good for them, no skin off my nose.

@IncludeWomenInTheSequel

Somebody on my Facebook is selling an 80s style ghetto blaster with a cassette deck that's broken. Selling. Not giving away, actually looking for money for it.

Just put it in the damn bin!

No, don't. It's an electrical item that needs to be properly disposed of.

Sofas need to have there safety fire label on otherwise they should NOT be sold & no charity would take them.

@Noitjustwontdo

best is ‘just needs a clean’ - well clean it then!

Totally agree! Hate seeing this, it’s so lazy.

Pmsl. We had a thread dedicated to this months ago and there were lots of people who disagreed that they should clean stuff they were giving away. The recipient should be grateful for the diet! I wouldn’t have the nerve. Gross.

*dirt

Saw this last night, sort of friend of friend.

"I would like to give away this very expensive car seat to someone in need. Please PM with your details, don't be embarrassed, I couldn't afford it now either. Or, if only get interest from people not in need, donation toward saddle for X pony"

My eyes were rolling.

I also hate pennies for kids piggy bank line, happy to give them something, but tell me what you want. Can just see the comments round the village, icedaisy only gave X amount, or who does she think she is she gave y amount. Cannot win.

@MustardMitt

The virtual signalling part isn’t giving it away for free, or even giving it away to a ‘family in need’.

It’s advertising that you want to give it away but not on a selling platform. None of my friends are going to see my tatty old sofa on gumtree but they will if I make sure to post about it on Facebook first so they can virtually pat me on the back!

Ah I see what you mean. I agree it is actual virtual signalling in that case.

Giving stuff away free can be impossible. I've tried to give away baby clothes, nice, not stained but nope. Even tried in a baby group and managed to only get someone to take the new one with tags. People are funny. I have second hand clothes for my kids, but a lot of people only want new. I do think condition is the issue often and I've been given stuff even by friends which is stained, unclean, grey whites and then I have to recycle it.

I saw one on my local fb page this morning.

“Corner sofa, would love it to go to someone in need 😇 will need cleaning as I have young kids and dogs. Needs collecting today as new sofa coming”.
It was filthy.

The ones that get me are have this item ( usually not great ) if not collected today taking to dump , yes thats where it belongs
We have a local free to good home facebook page that i have put some stuff on if too good to throw , but people sometimes take this and then sell on, also some ask for certain things so again have given if I have
But nothing wrong with giving things away of in good condition but not for a pat on the back

AHintOf....you really need to have a word with yourself.....

@PatriciaPerch

I have put stuff free on facebook marketplace with photos and it usually goes within the hour!

We had a woman on our local facebook who kept contacting the virtue signallers about their free tvs, turned out she'd given LOADS of people the same story about not having a tv in lockdown and her son had autism and loads of people gave her their free tvs, all of them had dropped them off at her house.......then one of these people realised her tv was being listed for sale and outed the woman on the local facebook page and loads of other people came forward and said they'd given her a tv aswell :o :o I had visions of this woman being found dead under a pile of used tvs

We had one of these locally. Sob story about how she's just got a new flat and 'needs everything' and she got lots of kind offers of stuff. Then a few months later, tried the same thing and one of her friends grassed her up, showing photos from her page of nice, almost new furniture and electronic stuff that was for sale. The CF had even rented a garage to run her business!

Don't know why you'd do it with TVs though. They're hard to sell second hand and don't go for much.

Interesting - I live in a developing country, in a fairly posh compound.

We leave everything unwanted outside. Security guards snaffle it in minutes. I once found one of them going through a bag of broken Happy Meal type toys I'd just slung in the bin.

Anything that does get left in the bin, is recycled by a whole community down in Garbage City. Nothing ever goes to waste - old carrier bags get woven into floor mats for example.

My housekeeper gets all my cast off clothes, which she keeps or sells.

Obviously, I live in a country with huge inequality & I'm not suggesting that's better! But after 6 years of expat life the idea that there's anything that would just go to a tip seems weird.

I'd have absolutely no trouble watching a filthy sofa or 80s tape deck disappear here - they'd be gone before I turned round.

Anyway, I agree a bit over the daft virtue signalling. Just leave it outside, if someone wants it it'll be gone, if not, pay the council to dispose of it.

Or if it's worth selling, I agree that it's easiest to put a price on it, however nominal. Fell foul of far too many free cycle cheeky fuckers in the U.K. Couldn't care less what you do with whatever it is; by all means eBay it & get it out of my way. But no shows & 'can you deliver' types used to irritate me enormously, tbh.

Friend "Getting new sofas, want to give this sofa away"
Me "Freecycle, Facebook,, gumtree etc"
Friend "But what if someone takes it free then sells it?"
Me ????? Sell it then
Friend "But I can't ask for money for it, its about 15 years old"
??? No, I don't get it either.

An acquaintance kept messaging me she had half a pack of nappies and a birthday present for my DS. His birthday from a year ago. She lives barely a mile away and never brought them round but seemed to enjoy being thanked in advance.