I’ve got this old sofa, charities aren’t collecting, no one will buy it so I’d like to donate it to someone in need,

[Nosleeptilteenagers]

AIBU to be fed up of the amount of people attempting to get rid of their old stuff by virtue signalling on social media?

My fbk is full of it. Literally every other post on my local pages. I get people want to do good things but if you’ve got some baby stuff to donate then googling local baby bank is probably the best option. No one would tell you what a lovely human being you were then. Or put it on marketplace for free, people will want it. How do you judge who is “in need?” you can’t. You just want rid of it and to get some kudos.

Plus it coincides with a local lockdown and charity shops being closed and not collecting!

More tired of clickbaity titles but OK.

some people don't have cars, yabu. If someone else can make use of it why not give it a go? Doesn't affect your life. Saves the planet.

I totally agree with pp's the importance of keeping things out of landfill.

The trouble is if you advertise something for free then people muck about. I put a buggy up free to collector. Had people asking me if I could deliver to a town 10+ miles away, people not turning up to collect erc. I put it up for a fiver instead and had no messing.

I didn't share on my Facebook page though, I kept the warm glow of smugness to myself 😉

Nowhere near as fed up of people complaining about others 'virtue signalling'. Should we now be whining at your virtue signalling in this thread, talking about how you list things for free and don't seek approval for it?

What annoys me is the the want to give it to someone in need so that everyone can see how charitable you are. It’s always “what a lovely thing to do hun” “you’re so thoughtful hun”. Load of bollocks.

And meanwhile, none of them can see that what you're looking to rehome with a worthy recipient looks like Daddy Pig's armchair, only much worse....

@Allywill

i agree! most of it looks only fit for the tip too. best is ‘just needs a clean’ - well clean it then!

Yes, this, and the one that made me go all roll-y eyed. Someone selling a couple of ancient looking table lamps

‘In full working order as far as I know but have not had a chance to try them.’

Just. Plug. Them. In.

Or, no. Don’t - because you actually know they’re not in working order, don’t you?

What is 'virtue signalling' about offering something for free that you don't want. If it is collected then it is out of your way. Makes sense to me.

There's a charity near me where people without money can get furniture for nothing; it's not as good as goes into places like BHF but is reasonable, maybe old fashioned but still has wear in it. I don't know if they are collecting at the moment though.

Adobe - That story about the eBay womble really got me chuckling!

I might start eBaying all of my old 'offer' coupons that I get whenever I buy something from WH Smith. They don't issue receipts any more, because it's bad for the environment, but instead, they give you three or four vouchers that look just like receipts for something or other that you never actually want. Roll up, hurry, buy in the next 24 hours and I'll also throw in a No 7 voucher from Boots - now they are rare!

What is 'virtue signalling' about offering something for free that you don't want

Because giving something away is fine, giving something away with the added line of "to go to a family in need only" makes you sound an utter cock.

@myusernamewastakenbyme

Im always surprised at people selling stuff on fb for £1....why in gods name would you bother...all the messaging...arranging a time....waiting in for someone to turn up...for a bloody £1....just put it in your wheelie bin.

To be fair, in the past we've done a big listing of leftover stock from our business and said everything's a pound and put it on marketplace. Some people have indeed just chosen one item and picked it up and given us our pound. But it adds up.

You can buy a loaf of bread and some milk for a pound, and where so many people have lost their jobs or they're stuck at home, making a few quid is great .. and if the person buying is willing to pay it, then what's it to you, really?

@AdobeWanKenobi

What is 'virtue signalling' about offering something for free that you don't want

Because giving something away is fine, giving something away with the added line of "to go to a family in need only" makes you sound an utter cock.

No it doesn't. It makes you sound like "If you only want to 'collect' this for fun or whatever, please know priority will be given to someone who doesn't have it to begin with or actually needs it".

Reading negative meanings into it and calling it virtue-signalling or other buzzwords and getting worked up over it is the actual case of being 'professionally offended' (for no genuine reason).

Worst one is when something is listed as 'free in exchange for large bar of green and blacks chocolate' or similar £3+ item when the item being given away is something you wouldn't pay that for if it was in a charity shop.

On my local FB marketplace someone is asking for a large premium chocolate bar in exchange for Lego cards (which are given out free in Sainsburys). They think that's somehow ok as they aren't 'selling' them. Just give them away ffs.

the amount of filthy car seats, and wanting cash for them

Always a shock to discover that 'poor people' and the agencies who help them, have standards too - and aren't going to be grateful for your scruffy old tat.

Knocks ones prowess and smuggery a bit, to discover that not only are 'the deserving poor' not suitably grateful but they don't actually want stuff that, until yesterday, was part of your home.

Many years ago I went my only car boot sale to help my daughter. I was absolutely amazed a the absolute s**t people were selling, even more amazed that there were people prepared to buy it. I tend to pass unwanted stuff to charity shops but with furniture is has to have fireproof labels attached so if they won't take it it gets sent to the tip.

@myusernamewastakenbyme

Im always surprised at people selling stuff on fb for £1....why in gods name would you bother...all the messaging...arranging a time....waiting in for someone to turn up...for a bloody £1....just put it in your wheelie bin.

Because if it’s free people are more choosy begger

Actually our local one is very different, the free face book page is filled with some really decent stuff from some very affluent people, and I suspect some of those who jump at it do so to sell on, things like cots, buggies, drawers, etc where as the selling page is full of the most used stuff, like kids trainers falling apart and filthy,,,people are trying to sell for a pound. The difference is very very stark. The worst stuff is being sold and the good stuff is free.

I think those with money, are giving it away, those struggling are trying to sell stuff on desperately. I’m not sure it’s all about the kudos.

Yes this annoys the hell out of me too and in my area we have lots and lots of give away for free pages but the virtue signallers ignore those and put on the more general area FB so that more ppl can see how fantastic they are! Same people that can't just hand in a bank card to the bank but have to announce to the whole area that they have found Mr Knox's bank card

The virtual signalling part isn’t giving it away for free, or even giving it away to a ‘family in need’.

It’s advertising that you want to give it away but not on a selling platform. None of my friends are going to see my tatty old sofa on gumtree but they will if I make sure to post about it on Facebook first so they can virtually pat me on the back!

I'm also a bit 🙄 when people were posting 'send me a PM and I'll make you free kids lunches' (not the pubs/cafés doing it). As if they genuinely think any of their mates on FB are going to msg them saying 'Oooh, well actually Sue if you could knock us up meals for the week that'd be great!'. Just bloody donate to a foodbank instead of posting something utterly pointless!

My old neighbour used to put old crappy toys on the local selling page for 50p each. Every other post was her.

The issue with giving away furniture is that it needs picking up so I doubt it will be collected by someone who is "in need". I fully agree with giving stuff away rather than tipping it but pretending to be a saint for getting said tatt taken away for free is bollocks.

Oh dear...i've been giving away good condition furniture, locally in the village, that were surplus to requirement, thinking it would be a win-win plus i hate the thought of binning furniture that's perfectly good, if someone could make use of it. The collectors seemed quite happy and no-on on FB commented or complained.

Is it the tone and length of the message that offends people as 'virtue signally'? Or the giving away of (good, clean) unwanted furniture to someone else who will make use of it that offends?

My message normally has photos and a short message that says 'Excellent condition, surplus to requirement. Free to collector.'

Giving to a family in need sounds a bit as though families in need don’t deserve anything halfway decent. Given some of the tat that people are trying to get money for, I’d feel mortified that rubbish was all they felt I deserved.

FFS read the whole post!
It’s the family in need bit the OP is objecting to, not giving stuff away.