or is this horribly patronising?

[Himalayansalt]

Someone has posted a photo of one of the people who sweeps our streets in our local forum/group with this caption

"This is xzy, a big feature in our local tapestry here in xyz. He sweeps our streets and throughout the whole of this year’s crisis, has not taken any time off. He does his job come rain, shine or pandemic. In the next lockdown he will be there again diligently cleaning up the mess that others leave behind.

As well as being passionate about keeping our neighbourhood looking tidy, he’s a bit of a guru and will stop and chat happily about life, the universe and everything. I stopped and chatted to him yesterday, as I always do when I see him and he thanked me for taking the time.
If you see him, have a chat and say thank you."

I have got the absolute cringe with this, although some would say she was well-meaning and trying to #bekind. But - it's off isn't it?

It might be better to persuade the others to clean their own mess up

... but that might mean that XYZ would lose his job and then I guess that bit of the tapestry would have to be unpicked.

YANBU. The post doesn't say "we should place more value on those who do low skill work for low pay as society couldn't run without them".

It says "I'm so special - not only do I notice the commonfolk, but I talk to them as well! Aren't I brilliant. "

"He may be thinking whenever he sees her "oh, I always have a lovely chat with them. Nice to see them." or he may be thinking "oh no, it's that patronising idiot to thinks I have 20 minutes to listen to her waffle on about the crisp packet she once accidentally dropped in Hackney and chased for six miles to catch it..."
:o

Very cringey and totally about her.

‘I’m an unusually good person and this man thanked me for it.’

In fact she’s describing the normal behaviour of decent people.

It’s patronising. Our local postman retired a few weeks ago and there was a whole long and completely unpatronising mass of thanks for him on our local Facebook page- he has done a fantastic job over the years- but it was in genuine recognition of years of hard work. Not this patronising rubbish.
Also why hasn’t the street sweeper taken any time off?

@VinylDetective

Is there anything MN can’t suck the joy out of?

On the contrary, much joy has been stitched into the tapestry of this thread.

@MindyStClaire

YANBU. The post doesn't say "we should place more value on those who do low skill work for low pay as society couldn't run without them".

It says "I'm so special - not only do I notice the commonfolk, but I talk to them as well! Aren't I brilliant. "

Yes it is all about the person who posted about it

I wouldn't appreciate my photo and information about me being plastered all over social media; more than likely without my knowledge or consent.

In fact she's describing the normal behaviour of decent people
Yes, that sums it up.

@Doobiedooo

No it doesn't seem horribly patronising to me. A bit patronising yes but mostly complimentary and OK overall. You and she are both over-egging your emotional reactions.

Our local street cleaner was recognised by the Queen last year.

I don’t see the problem with making a post like this (pretty sure he/she would have asked him to pose rather than taking a candid shot) but I don’t like the tone lord or lady Bountiful taking time out of their day to talk to the hoi polloi.

BIts of that post are fine ie the thanks, bits are borderline and some of it is cringe worthy and "look at me, appreciating lesser mortals". That could be my bad mood talking though.

We’ve got a local writer who does similar on Facebook (and has a huge following) but sometimes she doesn’t even speak to the person, just photographs them and tells everyone about what she regularly notices about them.

Twice she’s photographed friends of mine (8 or 9 photos per “post”) and wrote about them and they haven’t even known. Another time she photographed a very private moment between a mother and son (the mother has dementia) and had obviously chatted to the son who himself is vulnerable (I’ve worked with him as he participated in community projects) and posted what he said. I think he genuinely just needed a friend to listen to him, it was quite heartbreaking. It went viral as it was both tragic and beautiful.

I find it really intrusive and it makes me want to avoid one of our local beauty spots in case she photographs me and writes about me as if I’m some sort of oddity. I find these sorts of posts somewhat dehumanising even though I’m sure the intention is the opposite. By writing about people in this way they are presenting them the way they see them which is usually quite one dimensional and stereotyping is common. It always feels a bit patronising to me. Some of these writers refer to people not as their names but “The Red Wellies Lady” or “The Sausage Barm Man” which makes me cringe too.

Patronising.
They probably just want to get on with doing their job without virtue preachers stopping to chat to them about 'the universe'! In an attempt to get validation as a great, down to earth person who'll befriend street sweepers for a hundred likes on Facebook.

I stopped and chatted to him yesterday, as I always do when I see him and he thanked me for taking the time.
If you see him, have a chat and say thank you

Oh cringe. We have a few locals like this on our town Facebook page.
“Awful accident on the main road this morning, hopefully all ok. So glad I could stop and help even if just to put my arm around them, the driver was so shook up bless” accompanied by a photo of the crash scene.

Yes complete cringe.

I would not be best pleased if that was me in that photo and would have never given permission for it to be posted.

I have a friend like this and she IS well meaning. She has no idea at all that she's patronising. So I forgive her. She does do a lot of good in the community...food banks and so on. So if she sometimes gets it wrong but nobody is hurt, it's not so bad.

It's normal isn't it to ask permission before taking or posting a picture of someone on SM? You'd ask friends before taking a photo of them or their kids.

Do you think she said to him "I've really enjoyed our chat. Would you mind if I took a photo of you to post on Facebook?"

If so, then that's OK I guess though the tone is still a bit patronising. If not, she hasn't afforded him the usual respect you'd give a friend, and that makes me uncomfortable.

It's incredibly tone deaf and she didn't do it to pat him on the back, she did it to pat herself on the back. I agree that she wouldn't have patronised a consultant or a dentist in this way. Maybe he just wants to get to work, do his 8 hours and go back home to his family without constant interruptions from people filming interactions with him to put on Facebook.
A similar thing on my local Facebook made me cringe yesterday. A man put a photo of a big bag of Tesco shopping up, asking if people knew where the nearest food bank donations place is. Erm, yes, you walked past it on your way out of Tesco yesterday. He just wanted to show off what a great guy he is. It reminds me of the episode of Friends where Joey says that there's no such thing as a selfless good deed. It seems so many people do them just to get likes. Better than not doing them at all I guess but it is rather tacky.

It is cringe, she seems to think she did something exceptional by chatting to the street cleaner and wants everyone to know about it. He'd probably prefer people to just not drop their litter.

It reminds me of the people who post on SM that they paid for someone's shopping and the person responded in sobbing gratitude.

It was fine up until this point "he’s a bit of a guru and will stop and chat happily about life, the universe and everything."

I can't imagine them introducing the local GP or magistrate in that way. Because it is really patronising.

@PrincessBuggerPants

It was fine up until this point "he’s a bit of a guru and will stop and chat happily about life, the universe and everything."

I can't imagine them introducing the local GP or magistrate in that way. Because it is really patronising.

Unless they're old. Because there's a tendency in our society to talk about the elderly like that too. "Oh my god! Old people are so cute!"

We had someone telling a huge story about how it had occurred to her that an elderly neighbour might like some soup. She put soup in a flask and marched over with it and called on everyone else to do the same as she had. Ghastly write-up of how it was neighbourly, never mind the warm feeling of doing the right thing.

Issues of personal preference/allergies etc. aside - she had no idea at all that there were several longstanding relationships/network where food had been shared and delivered for years without anyone drawing attention to it.