I should’ve asked permission to book his dental checkup AIBU?

[Lifeaintalwaysempty]

Just had a blazing row with DH because I booked the family in for dental check ups next month. Apparently I should’ve asked his permission before booking him this appointment because he’s a human being with rights or something so shouldn’t just be expected to go wherever I’ve deemed necessary without any say so.
I say, if you don’t fancy it or it’s not convenient just say and I’ll sort it, but to expect me to do all the family’s administrative stuff, which I do, and to tell me how to do it as well, is a piss take.
To avoid drip feeding, it seems he is anxious about having a dental appointment which I completely understand- but why not just say no thanks, and I’ll just cancel his appointment, why all the drama?
I want to rip his teeth out myself to be honest.

well it's clearly going to be a lot easier from now on because you are only going to do your own admin and he can do it for the rest of the family.

Does seem a bit strange to make appointments for another adult tbh

Why on earth would you make an appointment for another adult
Can't imagine ever doing that,and would be furious if anyone did that for me

What are your hours of work? Your salary? Other benefits? Ts and Cs?

Oh wait, you're married to him.

YABVR

I think he is overreacting. But I probably would have asked DH if he wanted me to book in his next check-up rather than just cracking on and doing it.

YANBU at least now you know that your DH will sort himself out but if he forgets to book an appointment and tries to blame you you can remind him about this weird argument over a dental appointment.

We make appointments for the whole family (me, DH and DD). Either of us might make the appointment. It’s just quicker. He’s being a tool. Tell him fine, he can do his own admin from now on.

It wouldn't cross my mind to make an appointment for my dp for anything. Is this something he requested you do at some point?

Why didn’t you check he wanted one first? You’ve potentially wasted several people’s time. Of course he’s overreacted but I’d expect DH to ask me before planning my time, I do the same for him. I’m not his boss or his mother.

Why are you booking his appointment? Sure the kids I get but an adult?

I couldn't imagine booking a dental appointment for another adult without checking with them first.

I always book my DH appointment at the same time as mine no big deal
Our dentist is several miles away and would be senseless making two separate journeys

I'd feel a bit patronised if I were him.

Do you usually do it?

I make mine, my DH makes his, either one of us makes the DC’s depending on who ended up taking them to the last appointment.

I wouldn’t book an appointment for my DH for anything without checking (or generally, tbh), but that said your DH’s made a drama where there’s no need - he could just rearrange it himself if inconvenient- and if my DH was refusing to see the dentist entirely I’d be annoyed.

What’s a family appointment?

I was booking our children in for dental checkups, So I booked him in too. I do all the family admin, my husband does plenty of other stuff but definitely nothing where he has to remember things, phone people, book stuff online etc etc. I don’t ask permission because I don’t work for him, unless of course it would be something that couldn’t be changed easily or had to be paid up front in which case yes I’d check in with him first.
But a dental appointment that is six weeks away can just be cancelled or rescheduled tomorrow.

He was over the top but I wouldn't dream of booking a dentist appointment for dp. I wouldn't call a dental appointment for another adult, family admin

Understand those that don’t think an adult should make appointments for another adult. My husband would never bother making an appointment himself for the dentist. Or anything else.

I guess it’s his prerogative if he doesn’t want his teeth checked ever, Id prefer he did even if it means me making the appointment. So that’s how I ended up doing it.

I don’t ask permission because I don’t work for him

What do you mean by that? He doesn’t work for you either so doesn’t need you to allocate his time for him.

I also think it's a bit weird that you book it for him but if you;ve always done that and he's always expected you to then yanbu. If youve just taken it upon yourself then yabu.

@Igotmyholiday fair enough. I guess I do because usually we all go to the dentist at the same time, so it’s a family appointment and therefore family admin.
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I book mine and the kids together. Dh is in charge of making his own appointments

@AnneLovesGilbert I mean he leaves me to do all the appointment booking( which is fine for me as he does lots of other things) But I don’t see why I’d also need to ask his permission each time to do the thing that he’s already been clear he would prefer I do for him- If you want someone else to do the task you accept There might be compromise? He does most of the cooking but I don’t need him to ask my permission about what I’d like him to cook.
I understand what you mean about him seeing it as me allocating his time- but then why let me book everything always if it makes him feel controlled. Can’t have it both ways surely.

I book for the whole family at once. Its a condition of our dental insurance that we have a check up every 6 months and its a lot easier if everyone goes at the same time then it doesn't get missed. Otherwise we'd be paying the full price for everything which I don't particularly fancy. I usually make the next appointment as soon as the last one is done.DH might object if I booked him in for something with a couple of weeks' notice without asking but given he knows when it will be 6 months in advance its not an issue.
Is your DH particularly anxious about the dentist? I just wondered with his reaction being so strong and you saying he never goes whether he is in fact dental phobic and its that that's upsetting him? Its commoner than you might think. If he is afraid he might particularly not want the rest of the family with him.

I get that you do the family admin but given his ungrateful attitude that should not extend to personal things for him.

Cancel his appointments and tell him you’ve done it and don’t book for him again.

He’s a twat talking about human rights.