I should’ve asked permission to book his dental checkup AIBU?

[Lifeaintalwaysempty]

Just had a blazing row with DH because I booked the family in for dental check ups next month. Apparently I should’ve asked his permission before booking him this appointment because he’s a human being with rights or something so shouldn’t just be expected to go wherever I’ve deemed necessary without any say so.
I say, if you don’t fancy it or it’s not convenient just say and I’ll sort it, but to expect me to do all the family’s administrative stuff, which I do, and to tell me how to do it as well, is a piss take.
To avoid drip feeding, it seems he is anxious about having a dental appointment which I completely understand- but why not just say no thanks, and I’ll just cancel his appointment, why all the drama?
I want to rip his teeth out myself to be honest.

Yes, he could book his own appointments, but not if they clash with an already booked family appointment. We have a family online calendar!

Surely if he calls the dentist and books an appointment that they confirm...there wouldn't be a clash. It would just mean you have appointments at the same time.

I used to book appointments for the kids and myself.

DH and I both work and always have, so he knows when to book his appointments for himself.

Part of me can't help wondering if all this is bolstering the SAHM tasks...by calling it admin.

Most dentists will send reminders to the registered adults...individually not as a collective family group.

I think every home and relationship is different. Some are more than happy to book each others appointments. We are definitely not one of those households we would both think the other had lost it a bit if they rocked announcing they had booked an appointment for the other. However that is purely relationship dynamics.

The key here is that he can't have it both ways. Either he does all of his personal stuff or he accepts there will be the odd occasion he has to compromise (and certainly not Witter on about human rights over a dentist appt being booked for him)

All or nothing , he doesn't get to pick and choose

I do all sorts of family admin jobs. It’s part of our division of labor. DH mostly schedules his own appointments, but I do tons of other tasks that an adult should do for himself. I’m sure at some point I’ve made a dentist appt for him. However, he does all sorts of personal tasks for me. We divide by skill, personality, and availability.

Oh and yes, he either goes along with your booking or he takes over the task. He doesn’t get to complain about how you do it.

Difficult to tell without context or knowledge of both your previous form, current state of play etc. I wouldn’t book another adult’s appointments of any kind. My ex did used to lean on me for family admin but soon learned to look after himself for his own health and personal admin, as it never occurred to me that an adult would need his or her personal appointments booked for them.

Hmm. I'm in two minds tbh. I also book the family dental appointments for everyone, but I do always let DH know I'm booking it and ask him if there are any days he can't do. I don't think I'd just book and then FYI it like I would with the kids.

I think some people are missing why OP is booking the appointments here an masse, it's a condition of their dental insurance.

I have a dental plan and expensing the receipts from dental work is a PITA, he should thank himself lucky that OP sorts the admin.

OP, as well as booking his own appointment, let him handle the expensing and if he doesn't he can pay for it!

*en masse

Mixed bag of responses!
Some of you think I’m BU to book the appointment at all as DH is a grown up (debatable). I get this. We’ve always done this for convenience as I’m booking the rest of us anyway, saves him a job (that he definitely wouldn’t do).
Some of you think I’m abit U to book without checking first. Which I get is more convenient for him. This is my husband’s view, I think if he’s happy to outsource this job (and all the other similar jobs) to me he should take what he gets.
And some of you agree he’s made a big drama, if he doesn’t want the appt just say no thanks, and should be a bit more appreciative that he gets these tasks done for him in the first place.

At least I now know the easy solution- it’ll be the last appointment I book for him!!!

I book all family’s appointment too, it’s not that odd. Saves both of us ringing up and we tend to go together as a family. I know roughly when suits him better from a time / work POV.

When OH was working the other day and needed a doctors appointment I rang on his behalf as he was busy all day.

If he’s going to be funny about it then don’t bother for him in the future. He can sort it and yes I would be annoyed when you are trying to help.

I generally end up booking my dh dentist appts etc as he asks me to
Sometimes when he goes he will book the check up there and then for next time and then tell me so i can remind him
He doesn't even know who his car is insured with as i deal with it , at the time i get him to check details etc but he will glance and say its ok and then forget all about it
All the family type admin falls to me often incl appts , we don't have family dentist trips though as lucky of we can even get 2 appts same time

We all go to the dentist as a family too, I find it easier that way. It means one adult can be in with the dentist and the other in the waiting room, while the dc file in and out (we have 3).The dentist seem to prefer this arrangement too as they usually suggest it. We both get a text reminder to book so one of us books and informs the other. We have done this for years.

Some of the reactions on here are hilarious. Posters would be furious?? We are a family unit, we work as a team. Why on earth would we waste everyone's time by both ringing separately? Who then takes the kids to the dentist in that scenario? I bet always the same parent......

Flip me, life sounds so exhausting for a lot of MN'ers!

OP, clearly I think yanbu!!

I'd be annoyed if DH booked something for me without checking first (largely because he never considers that I might be unavailable and has a tendency to pick bad times). So whilst I don't think it's odd that OP booked the appointment per se, I think it's weird for her not to have checked time etc with him first.

Just cancel it and don’t book any appointments for him again. If he asks you to say no. Either you’re in charge of appointments or not. You don’t get saddled with the role and also asking permission first!