Leaving because not allowed to wfh

[bctf123]

background- i worked really well from home during lockdown and replying to emails immediately, always sat at my desk etc
as soon as i had made a few errors in my work, i was called back in on the pretext of needing an office environment to work well(around September)
i am the only one called in along with a young apprentice who needs to be on site. i am a bit of a pushover and lowest in the office chain and feel ive been singled out despite my contribution and role.
the manager has been really resistant to me wfh, including in the current lockdown and even on a part time basis, which i dont understand and which i dont want to argue as its a bit of a dog eat dog type of environment.

i am now thinking of leaving as i dont feel treated like an adult at all. the way im being treated feels petty and humiliating.
my motivation has fizzled out since being back in the office and i spend a lot of time watching tv instead of being productive.

aibu to want to leave? they have said they want me to stay but it feels like im being pushed by being singled out as if i need supervision

It sounds like a horrible, toxic work environment OP. No one should feel scared to raise issues for fear of being shouted at. It sounds like you get scapegoated as you are seen as an easy target. What kind of work do you do? Could you find something else before you quit? I agree with other posters, watching TV etc is not going to help your cause and you will need your current employer for a reference so I’d get your head down and work hard til you leave. Good luck.

I don't understand why some of those going out to work consider some of us working from home as slacking.. I'm working more hours at home than back in the office! I might put some washing on, have breakfast with DH, or hoover, but that's generally in my hour's brunchbreak, apart from that it's on the laptop, or on the phone 9-5 or more, per a normal working day. If I have to go out for anything, and that's very rare, then I'm always contactable by phone or respond by email. Being responsible and accountable creates trust.

I would make a formal complaint to HR if you are the only one singled out.

Ultimately I would go for constructive dismissal if you feel that you are being mistreated.

In the current environment, they should have a very good reason for not letting you work from home at least part time. Govt. current advice for lockdown is that you must work from home if you can.

Sorry that I haven't read everything, but you have a right to request flexible working, and there are limited reasons under the law which your company can use to turn down a request.

You have the right to request flexible working, but the employer is under no obligation to grant that request.

I am in a similar situation to you. My company are badly organised and did not give us the correct equipment to work from home. Then demanded 2 of us worked from the office. No Covid assessment and I had to go and purchase sanitizer etc as not one of them bothered to risk assess the office before we went in. My mangers are all staying at home with not a thought for the staff. I handed my notice in and leave next week. I can’t wait. Have been there 11 years and have dealt with bullying and lots of other discrimination which I have advised them of with no response. Suddenly I have a grievance meeting arranged. They don’t seem to understand too little too late. 2 previous colleagues took legal action against them, but they still don’t see how they treat their staff is wrong. If you don’t feel happy leave it will eat away at your self esteem.

Sorry, do you know what the job market is like at the moment?!

So you made mistakes and they called you into work?
That sounds like someone is giving you a chance to show that you are actually competent and the mistakes are down to a change in environment. I'd say you'd been thrown a lifeline, frankly. Take it.

If you're going to leave, consider your reference; your employer's perceived behaviour isn't relevant when it comes to justifying your own silly behaviour. Turn it around before you leave.

WFH is a privilege at the moment.

It seems petulant to resign just because they want you to return to the office.

Can you afford to not work for a while or find another job quickly?

Minor errors aside, is it possible your wfh performance wasn’t up to their expectations? You say you worked hard but you also say you are junior. So maybe they do feel you need more supervision or would benefit from being in the office? Or they want you there to help other staff on site?

Would they compromise eg let you work from home some days and not others?

I do feel for you, none of this is easy and I have been in situations in the past where I’ve felt singled out and treated pretty bad (in my opinion) and it sounds as though you are similar to me. You sulk and try to get your own back which for you is watching tv at work. Please think carefully about what you decide to do as if you leave it will be your manager who is asked to provide a reference for you. I think that it would be a good idea for you to switch off the tv and work hard, be the best employee and do your work to the highest standard that you can. Help the apprentice to grow in his/her role and you will get satisfaction from being a good support. Please take care and do such good work that your manager won’t have anything to pick on you for in the future, you never know, you could end up being her favourite. Good luck 🤞🏻

my motivation has fizzled out since being back in the office and i spend a lot of time watching tv instead of being productive

And you wonder why they think you need supervised?

It’s really easy to tell who is working and who isn’t. I think you should do them a favour and leave.

It may be worth looking into why you are okay with being a doormat? What can you do to build your confidence so you can act in your own best interest. The environment does not sound good if the supervisor is shouting and not listening to you even when it is not your issue. Perhaps, start tracking what is happening and to make sure your communications are backed up in writing. Perhaps, as discussed I will do X and you do not need to review the work. Or whatever it is. You may not find another job in this market. My suggestion is to start looking at how to work on how you communicate and work with your colleagues. As this sounds like this is not the first time this has happened.

Sorry I’ve not read everyone else replies.

You seem quite young so it may be just that your employer feels that you could do with some extra support. It may be if you are quite knew a certain amount of support must be given to you which is company policy (this is happening with me I need a mentor who I work closely to and can ask if I have any questions). So it is probably more to do with them feeling guilty that you’re doing it on your own rather than they don’t trust you.

If I was you I would work in the office for a week and if you make no errors then speak to them about working from home even if it’s initially one day a week to show that you can manage ok on your own.

You say that others are slacking at home, why do you think this, my husband feels privilaged to be able to WFH, and so there is no T.V, he takes his normal breaks, and because he has done this and gotten his work done and the work of others who have been ill, he now has more of a free reign over his hours.
You sound sulky, like a teen, saying you now don't work as hard, when you already admitted to watching telly when you are supposed to be working...you admitted to errors, so why then didn't you pull yourself up by your bootstraps, and really knuckle down!
Jobs are not that easy to come by atm, do yourself a favour and be more grateful to be in work, and don't take the mickey.

Why are you so keen to work from home? Is it because you think it’s easier and you want to be slacking off like you believe the others are? Personally I much prefer being in the office and I know I get more done. Stop watching tv when you should be working concentrate and prove you can be trusted.

Thanks for replying to my specific question, @bctf123, but I don't know what "friend zoned" means, either.

I am evidently a lot older than you. I suggest that if you don't like your job, you need to apply for another one. However, it's always easier to apply for a job if you have a job already. So you would really need to suck up whatever you have to do now. Some of my DC are probably the age that you are now, and I'd be telling them not to give up any job at the moment, however shitty, unless they have something to go to. Not least because there will always be someone out there who will do your current job, but better. Especially at the moment!

(I am nearly 50, so have no idea how references etc work now, though PP have suggested it's different from how it was when I was in my 20s).

Some really SHIT managers piping up on this thread.

Making you work in the office without supervision, or support after criticising your work. In the middle of a PANDEMIC where staff are feeling anxious, depressed and yes, sometimes unmotivated without any offer of support? How do they know you're mental health is ok? I find this fucking disgusting to be honest.

If someone usually productive in my team was suddenly unmotivated and needed stricter supervision I'd be finding out why, and sending them to an empty office wouldn't solve anyone's problems.

Some horrible fucking bullies on this thread. Glad they aren't my manager.

Yes carrot your right. its a PANDEMIC ffs. doesnt nobody no u need to stay at home anyways.

From what you’ve written I wouldn’t employ you

@Carrotghoul but this ain’t a case of someone who’s been productive suddenly falling down. Op has said that she was already making mistakes, has had HR involved before and is now sitting at work watching tv.

Can you elaborate on your role?

From the sounds of it, you feel like you’re being treated like a child, and have therefore begun to act like one. It’s not a criticism, but a normal human reaction to act up as a first instinct. I would recommend you take a couple of days leave, get out the house, get some exercise, even if it’s just a few walks. This will help give you some mental space to process how you’re feeling, and it might help you decide what you want out of your job. Is it a career and if so, given mistakes being made, what can you do to develop yourself. A similar role elsewhere might result in the same outcome. Taking responsibility is sometimes hard to do.

Whatever happens, switch off the tv. Focus on doing your job to the best of your ability, not for your manager, but to rebuild your own confidence.

If you continue to feel pushed, have a meeting with your manager to discuss how you could improve. Identify your strengths and your weaknesses and work on yourself. If this has occurred due to performance, it may be that the trust placed in you by your manager was broken when you didn’t perform a task allocated to you by him/her. The mistake would have almost definitely put them in a difficult position and might well have been embarrassing. You will need to rebuild this trust. It’s not impossible, but please don’t see it as a slight on your character. If your past performance was good enough for him/ her to trust you in the first place, you will get it back.

Please bear in mind that many people on this board would feel lucky to have a job at all given the current crisis, and anyone who is slacking at home or work will be viewed negatively due to this, as it appears ungrateful to others when many are facing homelessness, financial worry and health concerns.

Can you elaborate on your role?

From the sounds of it, you feel like you’re being treated like a child, and have therefore begun to act like one. It’s not a criticism, but a normal human reaction to act up as a first instinct. I would recommend you take a couple of days leave, get out the house, get some exercise, even if it’s just a few walks. This will help give you some mental space to process how you’re feeling, and it might help you decide what you want out of your job. Is it a career and if so, given mistakes being made, what can you do to develop yourself. A similar role elsewhere might result in the same outcome. Taking responsibility is sometimes hard to do.

Whatever happens, switch off the tv. Focus on doing your job to the best of your ability, not for your manager, but to rebuild your own confidence.

If you continue to feel pushed, have a meeting with your manager to discuss how you could improve. Identify your strengths and your weaknesses and work on yourself. If this has occurred due to performance, it may be that the trust placed in you by your manager was broken when you didn’t perform a task allocated to you by him/her. The mistake would have almost definitely put them in a difficult position and might well have been embarrassing. You will need to rebuild this trust. It’s not impossible, but please don’t see it as a slight on your character. If your past performance was good enough for him/ her to trust you in the first place, you will get it back.

Please bear in mind that many people on this board would feel lucky to have a job at all given the current crisis, and anyone who is slacking at home or work will be viewed negatively due to this, as it appears ungrateful to others when many are facing homelessness, financial worry and health concerns.

I cannot believe my autocorrect is changing isn’t to ain’t!

@bctf123

the original reason was that i needed someone to bounce ideas off (despite my supervisor staying at home though she is my first point of contact) there is a small element of my job that i would better do in the office but this could be done by attending a couple or even one day a week after that i dont know and i dont want to push the issue as im scared i would be shouted at . ive kind if doormat zoned (similar to friend zoning) myself over the last few years

"scared of being shouted at" That sounds entirely like your own issues. just return to work, show you can do your job again, and enjoy the quieter office. I have actually been shouted at, screamed at and have scissors shoved in my face at my (now previous) office job. Which is entirely different to just worrying about a possible reaction. TALK to your supervisor. If they are a reasonable human they will listen and talk back. Just work on yourself, enjoy the free printing, and if you are still unhappy then apply for a new job.

I think you could profit by examining your own attitude.
Watching TV at work, whether or not you can concentrate on work and watch TV at the same time, is a moot point. I doubt it.
There are many (and I am one of that number) who would prefer that ALL workers were back in the office or their place of work and the reasons are many and varied.
Top of the tree is the often crap connections and to a lesser extent, background noise.
Today Tuesday 03/11, I made 7 calls to Thames Water, listened to 7 lots of data protection 🙄 + the now boring Covid - 19 diatribe + numerous alternative ways to contact them + a litany of 5 options with multiple choices before even speaking to a real person. Actually, that's not quite correct.
1st call dropped the minute I heard the ring tone which suggested that I might, at some time be able to speak to an agent. 🙏
2nd call was answered. Two cursory ID questions later, he said that computer was slow...11 minutes later I was still waiting and my two 'Hello...can you hear me?) questions remained unanswered even though I could clearly hear him carrying on a conversation and laughing on another language with someone on WhatsApp.
I ended the call and the remaining 5 calls all dropped as soon as the connection (ringing) was activated after listening to the prerecorded crap.
That's why I'm all for getting back into the workplace where workers have to be seen to be doing their job.

As for the OP's choices, it's doubtful that she would get a reference as they cannot give negative views. This would tell a prospective employer all they needed to know about why she was looking for employment.
I'm perfectly sure that none of us would want to employ someone whose attitude could do with an overhaul.
OP...do a little soul-searching, leave with good grace before you get a P45 on your desk and in your next job, remember who's paying your salary and what they expect in return. Good luck 🍀

• IN another language, not ON.