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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To tell trick or treaters to fuck off?

115 replies

Rosebean92 · 01/11/2020 11:33

Last night myself and my elderly mil who I often care for were at her house preparing to watch strictly (very exciting i know). The doorbell went and I was quite surprised to see 8 kids with 2 adults trick or treating. Baring in mind the house was not decorated at all no pumpkins no nothing and as we were at the back of the house the lights werent on in her front room so lord only knows why they knocked... anyway my mil said i'm sorry but i dont have anything for you.

The kids looked really disappointed and they went to go knock on the next door neighbours house, seeing this my mil said "dont knock on that door the elderly man who lives there isnt very well". (Not covid but he's been in ill health for some time)

Well little jimmy decided to go ahead and ring the doorbell, the poor old sod answered the door and said "no sorry!" and shut the door in their faces.

The two adults - I'm asuming the mothers, looked embarressed and I said "Why did you let him do that? You shouldnt be going around the houses anyway why dont you just go home!?"

Not going to lie I was angry at this point and felt this is just beyond ridiculous. The kids started to get upset and one of the mums muttered something I didnt quite hear and they left.

I mean what the actual fuck were they thinking?! We really didnt mean to upset the kids but we didnt want them there - so as not to drip feed we live in a large city and none of the houses on the street were decorated for halloween at all - most of the residents are elderly so even if we werent in the middle of a pandemic its not a good place to trick or treat anyway.

I feel like I've ruined halloween for those kids now :S

OP posts:
Smileyaxolotl1 · 01/11/2020 11:37

Yanbu at all.
If the kids are disappointed their silly parents are at fault, not you.
They were breaking the law by being in a group of more than 6 anyway.
Around our way people seem to stick to the idea of only knocking at houses with pumpkins outside and that works really well. Everyone who wants to participate can.

switswooo · 01/11/2020 11:37

I’m on the fence here. They shouldn’t have knocked on the elderly man’s door after you told them he’d been ill but not sure you had to berate them like that.

I would just not have opened the door. Isn’t there a peep hole or window you could have looked through?

Noitjustwontdo · 01/11/2020 11:39

Their parents were idiots for allowing it. Trick or treating is a big deal in our area usually, lots of houses go to town decorating but everyone knows you respect the wishes of people who haven’t decorated and don’t knock on their doors.

Last night was obviously different, lots decorated but trick or treating shouldn’t have happened imo. Still had about 4 people knocking which surprised me (I didn’t answer).

WitchesSpelleas · 01/11/2020 11:40

YWBU to say literally 'fuck off' to children, but I don't think, from your OP, you swore at them - it sounds as though you were polite.

I don't think people should be knocking on doors during a pandemic, and I don't think even in 'normal times' they should trick or treat at houses that are clearly 'not playing' (no decorations) so YWNBU.

NetflixWatcher · 01/11/2020 11:41

YANBU OP. Totally agree with you. My small nephews went out before dark dressed up with my sister looking for pumpkins or window displays and when they see one my sister gave them a sweet from her bag.

IceSkater · 01/11/2020 11:42

Was so disappointed when we moved to this country and realised Halloween wasn't a thing here. So many mean & cranky people who don't give a crap about kids :(

MLMbotsgoaway · 01/11/2020 11:45

@IceSkater it is a thing I went trick or treating as a kid over 30 years ago. However this year not so much and bearing in mind half of us were watching A press conference telling us that we are going under lockdown next week - it’s unsurprising people are a bit less willing to join in.

Cadent · 01/11/2020 11:45

So many mean & cranky people who don't give a crap about kids Sad

Why is it the responsibility of strangers to give a crap about other people’s kids?

Jemma2907 · 01/11/2020 11:45

Don't worry, the children will forget about it I'm sure. They shouldn't have been knocking, especially not on undecorated houses. I took my 5yr old out last night to looks for pumpkins, for every pumpkin or Halloween decoration we spotted, he got a sweet (from my bag). I got shouted at by a man through a window saying 'Disgusting, I can't believe you're taking him Trick or Treating'. We weren't! We didn't knock on any houses. He ruined it for me, I was just trying to do something nice with my ds - luckily my son was oblivious.

Original poster
Rosebean92 · 01/11/2020 11:45

@switswooo

I’m on the fence here. They shouldn’t have knocked on the elderly man’s door after you told them he’d been ill but not sure you had to berate them like that.

I would just not have opened the door. Isn’t there a peep hole or window you could have looked through?

Believe me if I knew they were trick or treaters I wouldnt have opened the door!! She has lots of neighbours who check up on her so we just thought its pam from down the road etc.

No peep hole im afraid and cant see the door from her window, might be an idea to install a peep hole as she gets targeted by canvassers.

Yeah I do feel bad for the kids, I was just so annoyed.

OP posts:
WorraLiberty · 01/11/2020 11:46

So you didn't tell them to fuck off then? You would have been unreasonable if you had sworn at children, obviously.

WorraLiberty · 01/11/2020 11:49

@IceSkater

Was so disappointed when we moved to this country and realised Halloween wasn't a thing here. So many mean & cranky people who don't give a crap about kids :(
What, the entire country? Confused

Halloween is very much a thing in some neighbourhoods.

But not wanting to take part, doesn't make anyone 'mean and cranky' and nor does it mean they don't give a crap about kids Hmm

ScrumptiousBears · 01/11/2020 11:49

Unacceptable behaviour from the parents to knock in the first place let alone let their child knock next door when you asked them not to. There is no excuse for this even in normal times.

No pumpkin/decorations = No knock

switswooo · 01/11/2020 11:50

Ah ok in that case I can see why you were annoyed.

I agree it’s not on to knock on doors that don’t have a pumpkin or something else outside their door.

It’s a bit of a lucky dip as we certainly didn’t do T&T and didn’t buy sweets this year but maybe some people did.

GhoulWithADragonTattoo · 01/11/2020 11:53

What you actually said to the parents was fine. I doubt the kids even noticed. The parents are entirely in the wrong here.

Original poster
Rosebean92 · 01/11/2020 11:58

@switswooo

Ah ok in that case I can see why you were annoyed.

I agree it’s not on to knock on doors that don’t have a pumpkin or something else outside their door.

It’s a bit of a lucky dip as we certainly didn’t do T&T and didn’t buy sweets this year but maybe some people did.

We genuinely didnt have anything for them - my mil doesnt have chocolates or sweets and we werent expecting to have any trick or treaters at all - zero effort was made to make the house look inviting.

When they left my mil started fretting that they were going to egg the house!

I really would swear at them then.

OP posts:
dontdisturbmenow · 01/11/2020 12:01

Surely anyone who doesn't want T or T just don't open the door? How often do you or your neighbour get knocks on the door Saturday evenings that you don't expect?

MLMbotsgoaway · 01/11/2020 12:03

YABU - you should have called them a bunch of cunts instead Grin

To be fair we didn’t even get sweets in as weren’t expecting any knocks. Went for a nice walk last night to look at peoples decorations etc which was lovely.

Ponoka7 · 01/11/2020 12:04

You need a peep hole. Does your MIL just open the door, not knowing who is calling? Even in low crime areas that's dangerous, as she ages.

I was disappointed that no one knocked. I had lots of sweets in and usually love the T&Ters.

It is the fault of the paremts and if they were willing to break the rules they might as well had a party and not risk the children being disappointed.

Bluntness100 · 01/11/2020 12:07

So you didn’t actually tell them to fuck off? Why would you possibly start a thread pretending you had, when all you did was say to them why don’t you go home?

Confused
Cheeseandlobster · 01/11/2020 12:07

@IceSkater

Was so disappointed when we moved to this country and realised Halloween wasn't a thing here. So many mean & cranky people who don't give a crap about kids :(
Dont be so utterly ridiculous. We are in different times at the moment. Go and make Halloween special for your own kids at home. If people dont have decorations out in normal times then the rule is you dont knock. Not everyone can get to the door and nor does everyone want to
Original poster
Rosebean92 · 01/11/2020 12:07

@dontdisturbmenow

Surely anyone who doesn't want T or T just don't open the door? How often do you or your neighbour get knocks on the door Saturday evenings that you don't expect?
All the time! She has so many people checking in on her, dropping off presciptions, shopping, just checking shes okay same with the old gent next door.

So she doesnt think anything of it if the door bell goes at half 6 in the evening.

OP posts:
Brieminewine · 01/11/2020 12:10

You were definitely not unreasonable!
The parents should have looked embarrassed seeing as their child can’t follow a simple instruction.

We had two trick or treaters last night, just the neighbours kids. We did have some sweets in and I dressed DD up in her little witches costume to answer the door as that’s as interesting as it got for us last night 😂

Original poster
Rosebean92 · 01/11/2020 12:11

@Ponoka7

You need a peep hole. Does your MIL just open the door, not knowing who is calling? Even in low crime areas that's dangerous, as she ages.

I was disappointed that no one knocked. I had lots of sweets in and usually love the T&Ters.

It is the fault of the paremts and if they were willing to break the rules they might as well had a party and not risk the children being disappointed.

She really does need a peep hole - shes had random callers offering to paint the house or to do the guttering etc but shes just so trusting.
OP posts:
Thomasina79 · 01/11/2020 12:13

In my road a few people left some sweets outside, with a pumpkin to show T or T can help themselves. No one knocked on the doors this year. I’m not a fan of the practice, but I felt this was a nice thing to do. Things are gloomy enough for everyone at the moment so a little kindness goes a long way.