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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To tell trick or treaters to fuck off?

115 replies

Rosebean92 · 01/11/2020 11:33

Last night myself and my elderly mil who I often care for were at her house preparing to watch strictly (very exciting i know). The doorbell went and I was quite surprised to see 8 kids with 2 adults trick or treating. Baring in mind the house was not decorated at all no pumpkins no nothing and as we were at the back of the house the lights werent on in her front room so lord only knows why they knocked... anyway my mil said i'm sorry but i dont have anything for you.

The kids looked really disappointed and they went to go knock on the next door neighbours house, seeing this my mil said "dont knock on that door the elderly man who lives there isnt very well". (Not covid but he's been in ill health for some time)

Well little jimmy decided to go ahead and ring the doorbell, the poor old sod answered the door and said "no sorry!" and shut the door in their faces.

The two adults - I'm asuming the mothers, looked embarressed and I said "Why did you let him do that? You shouldnt be going around the houses anyway why dont you just go home!?"

Not going to lie I was angry at this point and felt this is just beyond ridiculous. The kids started to get upset and one of the mums muttered something I didnt quite hear and they left.

I mean what the actual fuck were they thinking?! We really didnt mean to upset the kids but we didnt want them there - so as not to drip feed we live in a large city and none of the houses on the street were decorated for halloween at all - most of the residents are elderly so even if we werent in the middle of a pandemic its not a good place to trick or treat anyway.

I feel like I've ruined halloween for those kids now :S

OP posts:
Scarlettpixie · 01/11/2020 13:55

@IceSkater

Was so disappointed when we moved to this country and realised Halloween wasn't a thing here. So many mean & cranky people who don't give a crap about kids :(
Iceskater - Halloween is usually amazing where I live but didn’t you know there is pandemic at the moment? There is an etiquette too that you only know on decorated houses.

I am amazed that people thought it was ok to go this year.

Sounds like you did nothing wrong OP. I would have been annoyed too. Obvs ywbu to say fuck off to children 🤭

AlwaysLatte · 01/11/2020 14:03

The parents shouldn't have let them knock if there were no lit pumpkins.

PhilSwagielka · 01/11/2020 14:03

@Blonde87

Oh no I bet you were terrified when those killer children knocked on your door spreading their diseases! Please don't leave your house now you are probably infected. Stay glued to your telly to find out the next roooolz
Wow, you're so edgy. Don't cut yourself.
CandyLeBonBon · 01/11/2020 14:04

@IceSkater

Was so disappointed when we moved to this country and realised Halloween wasn't a thing here. So many mean & cranky people who don't give a crap about kids :(
Oh don't be so ridiculous
Leaannb · 01/11/2020 14:28

@WoooooGhoulsDoAFlit

Thank god Xenia has arrived to tell us all to JUST STOP IT. (Halloween is not a US import btw but I'm sick of trying to tell people that)
As an American and British I can definitely see why people would think that. It wasn't celebrated when I was growing up in Wales. Never even heard of it until I went back to my parents. Again when my own children were there it wasn't a thing and that was as recent as 2002 to 2008.
Leaannb · 01/11/2020 14:30

@CandyLeBonBon...She isn't being ridiculous. .Not in the least. My oldest called me two years ago excited out of his mind because there was actual trick or treaters on the economy. Not just on the base. Many of our neighbors had never heard of it

EatPrayYoga · 01/11/2020 14:32

I think YANBU

We decorated our house and our sweets out for the kids but no one knocked on doors around here. It's completely irresponsible.

chrislilleyswig · 01/11/2020 14:36

@IceSkater

Was so disappointed when we moved to this country and realised Halloween wasn't a thing here. So many mean & cranky people who don't give a crap about kids :(
That's me.

I don't give a "crap" about them. Why should I?

Whatsonmymindgrapes · 01/11/2020 14:36

Maybe they were thinking it’s been a hard year for everyone and about to head into another lockdown and just wanted to have some fun for their kids. Maybe? But fretting and worrying and locking yourself away sounds like a much better alternative.

hibbledibble · 01/11/2020 14:43

Nothing wrong with trickortreating, but only decorated houses, and not during a pandemic.

chrislilleyswig · 01/11/2020 14:47

@Blonde87

Oh no I bet you were terrified when those killer children knocked on your door spreading their diseases! Please don't leave your house now you are probably infected. Stay glued to your telly to find out the next roooolz
Aren't you witty
peekiboo · 01/11/2020 14:47

Yanbu at all! I have young children who were very disappointed at missing out on their usual Halloween activities. It waa our role as parents to make a fun alternative. We wouldn't have dreamed of knocking on anyone's door during this pandemic let alone on a non decorated road. I'd say this applies even in normal times when we only go to decorated homes!

1forAll74 · 01/11/2020 14:49

Most people who write such stuff, posted on the local community FB, that they were not doing Halloween stuff this year, but some some silly Mothers then wrote, oh dear, my two little children are going to be so upset, ha ha. I think a few did walk round to spy any pumpkins in the pouring rain though,then their Mothers gave them sweets everytime they spotted a pumpkin, the mind boggles.

LindaEllen · 01/11/2020 14:55

Sorry, but given the situation in the UK at the moment, trick or treating was/should have been an absolute no go this year.

I don't know why parents would WANT their kids to knock on people's doors and accept sweets that other people had touched. I don't know of anyone who got sweets in. I certainly didn't as I assumed there wouldn't be any - and there wasn't.

The parents of the kids were wrong on three levels.

  1. For taking their kids trick or treating at all during a global pandemic, when they could easily have made Halloween special enough at home
  2. For knocking on doors of houses without decorations. I thought it was pretty much a given that this wasn't done.
  3. For STILL allowing their child to knock next door to you, even after you'd told them the man was elderly and not very well.

I don't particularly like Halloween anyway, but accept that lots of people do, and settle for the compromise of knocking on decorated houses - as obviously those people don't mind.

Last year I put out a basket of sweets, but these were stolen by the third group that took some, so I won't do that anymore, plus I wasn't going to do that this year as obviously lots of hands in the same basket isn't great.

You should never tell children to 'fuck off' in those words, but if any had turned up at our house last night with their parents I would have made it clear to the parents that they shouldn't be doing it this year.

Staffy1 · 01/11/2020 14:57

@IceSkater

Was so disappointed when we moved to this country and realised Halloween wasn't a thing here. So many mean & cranky people who don't give a crap about kids :(
I was disappointed to find it was a thing. We had some right nasty brats in our last neighbourhood. I remember the feeling of dread realising it was Halloween and we had no sweets, not having children at the time and having to rush to the shops to get some rather than risk the wrath of the brats.
Sceptre86 · 01/11/2020 15:06

You were not unreasonable, the parents shouldn't have taken them out. Some of the houses on our estate were decorated but we didn't have any kids guising. I made halloween fun for my own kids at home, I purchased halloween tableware, we put up decorations they had made up at school. They wore their costumes and danced to halloween songs for kids. I made up a party bag using their halloween buckets and we did some arts and crafts with a halloween theme.

Elderly people or those with disabilities may struggle to get to the door or feel anxious fie to constant doorbell ringing. They were being unreasonable to go guising this year.

TiersTiersTiers · 01/11/2020 15:07

It's over for another year @Rosebean92

You did nothing wrong. The idiot parents were the only ones who need to think about their choices.

Halloween can be fun and doesn't have to be about annoying people who chose not to take part in the fun/hype whichever way you think.

Mittens030869 · 01/11/2020 15:17

Halloween is normally a big thing around here, but there is an unspoken acceptance that we only knock on doors where the house has been decorated for Halloween. It works really well.

Last night, our DDs went out, as did their friends, but no one knocked on doors. (Our house was decorated so I know that this is the case.) They just left bowls of sweets outside for other kids to help themselves.

YANBU, OP, those two adults were idiots, especially as you warned them that your elderly neighbour wasn’t well.

ViciousJackdaw · 01/11/2020 15:19

I do normally calve a pumkin

Bloody hell, that must sting a bit!

Heatherjayne1972 · 01/11/2020 15:25

I’m with you op - although I wouldn’t swear at the kids
It annoys me when we get trick or treaters

We don’t do Halloween never owned any decorations or decorated the house - I thought you only went to the ‘ lit pumpkin houses’ anyway
And yet we still get kids knocking - every year. It’s foolish any night of the year to knock on random front doors but in the dark in a pandemic stupid idea
One year a parent had a go at me for not providing sweets for her kid ! I didn’t even get my own kids sweets. Pfft

Hiddennameforever · 01/11/2020 15:52

I just realised that the press conference was that a time so parents will be home to reduce TT.

ILoveYoga · 01/11/2020 16:32

It is the parents who caused the problem. Everyone knows (in normal times, not pandemic) you only go to house with their porch light in/pumpkin of other decorations.

Secondly, you’d already told them the neighbour was ill and not to ring his bell. They did it anyway.

Parents fault all the way

Add to this it’s a pandemic, no one should have been out trick or treating.

chrislilleyswig · 01/11/2020 16:44

I would love it if in normal times, guisers only went to decorated houses

We have always had all sorts of ransoms ringing the bell

I loved the peace this year

Parker231 · 01/11/2020 17:18

I love Halloween but the rule was only to decorated houses and to people we knew. This year there have been some amazing decorations and parents are giving out the treats. I’ve missed seeing the costumes and their delight at getting more sweets for their haul.

Defenbaker · 01/11/2020 18:03

YANBU, as you didn't actually swear at them or do anything else wrong. The parents were acting irresponsibly and ignored your request to leave your elderly neighbour alone - selfish and annoying behaviour.

I think the whole premise of children knocking uninvited on doors of strangers and expecting to be given sweets/treats is wrong on so many levels. It's intrusive and grabby. If people have decorated their house it's a sign that the occupants are happy to take part, but otherwise people have a right to be left in peace, amd not be pestered into indulging the children of strangers.

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