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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To tell trick or treaters to fuck off?

115 replies

Rosebean92 · 01/11/2020 11:33

Last night myself and my elderly mil who I often care for were at her house preparing to watch strictly (very exciting i know). The doorbell went and I was quite surprised to see 8 kids with 2 adults trick or treating. Baring in mind the house was not decorated at all no pumpkins no nothing and as we were at the back of the house the lights werent on in her front room so lord only knows why they knocked... anyway my mil said i'm sorry but i dont have anything for you.

The kids looked really disappointed and they went to go knock on the next door neighbours house, seeing this my mil said "dont knock on that door the elderly man who lives there isnt very well". (Not covid but he's been in ill health for some time)

Well little jimmy decided to go ahead and ring the doorbell, the poor old sod answered the door and said "no sorry!" and shut the door in their faces.

The two adults - I'm asuming the mothers, looked embarressed and I said "Why did you let him do that? You shouldnt be going around the houses anyway why dont you just go home!?"

Not going to lie I was angry at this point and felt this is just beyond ridiculous. The kids started to get upset and one of the mums muttered something I didnt quite hear and they left.

I mean what the actual fuck were they thinking?! We really didnt mean to upset the kids but we didnt want them there - so as not to drip feed we live in a large city and none of the houses on the street were decorated for halloween at all - most of the residents are elderly so even if we werent in the middle of a pandemic its not a good place to trick or treat anyway.

I feel like I've ruined halloween for those kids now :S

OP posts:
19lottie82 · 01/11/2020 12:14

So many mean & cranky people who don't
give a crap about kids

Oh yeah, who cares that we are living in a pandemic where hundreds of people are dying every day, as long as the kids get a sweetie! Idiot. 🙄

EvilPea · 01/11/2020 12:14

@IceSkater

Was so disappointed when we moved to this country and realised Halloween wasn't a thing here. So many mean & cranky people who don't give a crap about kids :(
Yeah. Full of arseholes this country not wanting to play trick, treat or Covid this year. Hmm
MasterBruceBalloon · 01/11/2020 12:15

I took my child out for a spooky night time walk, looking for pumpkins, Halloween decs, mini beasts and fireworks. For every one she saw, she got a sweet from me. I was heartened by two houses who had left wrapped sweets at the end of their drives too. We had a great time.

Nanny0gg · 01/11/2020 12:18

@IceSkater

Was so disappointed when we moved to this country and realised Halloween wasn't a thing here. So many mean & cranky people who don't give a crap about kids :(
OFGS!

Sort your own children out, it's not for complete strangers to entertain them!

Plenty of streets were doing Halloween. But for those that didn't, their privacy should have been respected.

Redwinestillfine · 01/11/2020 12:19

We are tier 3. No one was out trick or treating. We still had fun. You were not being unreasonable. The parents were out if order and should have arranged something else to make it fun for their kids.

Nanny0gg · 01/11/2020 12:20

@Thomasina79

In my road a few people left some sweets outside, with a pumpkin to show T or T can help themselves. No one knocked on the doors this year. I’m not a fan of the practice, but I felt this was a nice thing to do. Things are gloomy enough for everyone at the moment so a little kindness goes a long way.
It was a nice thing to do.

Some ruined in our village by idiot older kids who nicked the lot. And then trashed the display Angry

TicTac80 · 01/11/2020 12:21

I don't think you ruined Hallowe'en for the kids at all. I think it was poor judgement on the parent's side. FWIW, I love Hallowe'en, T+Ting etc. We didn't go out this year (because of covid ofc), and I just did a Hallowe'en sweet hunt in the garden for my two. Only had two kids knock, and I gave them a handful of sweets each. In previous years, when we did T+T, I'd only allow the kids to knock at houses that had decs and pumpkins etc put up.

WitchesBritchesPumpkinPants · 01/11/2020 12:21

YANBU. If the kids were upset its down to the adults that were with them.

When we were kids you knocked on any door, the 'only if there's a pumpkin outside' is a much more recent thing (around here anyway). But this year, it should be pretty bloody obvious that you didn't knock where it wasn't obvious people didn't want to take part.

You asked them not to knock next door, they should have respected that, then their kids wouldn't have got upset 🤷🏻‍♀️

@Smileyaxolotl1. I'm assuming wuth the use of 'jimmy' the OP is in Scotland where young kids don't count in the number meeting up

WitchesBritchesPumpkinPants · 01/11/2020 12:26

@Rosebean92

Re the peep hole. There's only any point in getting one out in if you can 'train' her to both use it AND feel empowered to say 'not interested' or whatever. And as long as her hearing is ok.

Can you tell I'm having a struggle with an elderly relative who will open the door to anyone! He says he has to as he can't hear them. I keep saying 'unless you know them just say no thank you' & walk away.

june2007 · 01/11/2020 12:26

We notmally get in sweets and have a few kids knock. I do normally calve a pumkin, however not this year and we got no one most people know it is not the time to be trick and treating.

jesper1 · 01/11/2020 12:28

We had no trick or treaters but we did get egged😡
I would have felt the same as you OP

Sargass0 · 01/11/2020 12:30

YABU for not actually telling them to Fuck off - I would have... Grin

HitchikersGuide · 01/11/2020 12:31

You were in the right. Totally irrespective of Covid, kids should only go to houses clearly taking part in Halloween and the parents should not have allowed it.

GCAcademic · 01/11/2020 12:34

@IceSkater

Was so disappointed when we moved to this country and realised Halloween wasn't a thing here. So many mean & cranky people who don't give a crap about kids :(
There are many things to be disappointed about in relation to this country. Not doing Halloween in the way that North America does is not one of them. You are responsible for entertaining your kids. Not neighbours who I’m pretty sure you and your kids don’t know exist and who you doubtless don’t give a second thought to for the rest of the year, when they aren’t a potential source of sugared crap.
woodhill · 01/11/2020 12:36

Yanbu, it's so inappropriate with the Covid and I don't agree with it or like it.

LostAcre · 01/11/2020 12:40

The general convention where I live is to only do trick & treating at decorated houses and to leave the other houses alone.

So even without Covid I’d say they were unreasonable to knock on your door.

We took our DC our yesterday evening - not trick & treating, but to look at decorations. There were loads of houses where the people had left out bowls of sweets next to pumpkins so kids could help themselves without having to knock on doors, which was very nice of them.

PhilSwagielka · 01/11/2020 12:46

I'm in Tier 3 and bought a load of chocolate bars on the off chance people were trick or treating, but they weren't, thankfully (I'm not saying this because I'm a mean old witch who hates kids, I'm saying this because I WFH and didn't want to keep getting up to answer the door while working on a big job).

LauraMipsum · 01/11/2020 12:49

YANBU. We had some last night too, out with parents, I just said sorry we're not doing it this year. I felt awful disappointing them, but my own DD would have been outraged at the unfairness if I'd raided the sweetie cupboard for them after saying no T&T allowed this year!

DianaT1969 · 01/11/2020 12:54

Not sure why you'd ever say f**k off to children. Shouldn't your OP just say that this isn't a good year to trick and treat. There's a group of charity workers (chuggers) on my high street and the charity commission have condoned them stopping strangers I the street since the week lockdown was lifted. They are trying to engage with hundreds of people a day. Come and speak to them. Pick your battles. Parents are just trying to create some fun memories for their children.

Cookies47 · 01/11/2020 12:57

@IceSkater

Was so disappointed when we moved to this country and realised Halloween wasn't a thing here. So many mean & cranky people who don't give a crap about kids :(
Wow, sorry about the global pandemic ruining your rude tradition Hmm
IseeIsee · 01/11/2020 13:01

Yanbu. If the children were upset that's as a result of the poor decision made by the parents.

Bluntness100 · 01/11/2020 13:02

Not sure why you'd ever say fk off to children

She didn’t, I have no idea why she’s started a thread pretending she did.

PhilSwagielka · 01/11/2020 13:04

@IceSkater

Was so disappointed when we moved to this country and realised Halloween wasn't a thing here. So many mean & cranky people who don't give a crap about kids :(
And so many entitled brats who don't give a crap about old or disabled people.
PhilSwagielka · 01/11/2020 13:05

@DianaT1969

Not sure why you'd ever say f**k off to children. Shouldn't your OP just say that this isn't a good year to trick and treat. There's a group of charity workers (chuggers) on my high street and the charity commission have condoned them stopping strangers I the street since the week lockdown was lifted. They are trying to engage with hundreds of people a day. Come and speak to them. Pick your battles. Parents are just trying to create some fun memories for their children.
OP didn't LITERALLY tell them to fuck off.
Leaannb · 01/11/2020 13:08

[quote MLMbotsgoaway]@IceSkater it is a thing I went trick or treating as a kid over 30 years ago. However this year not so much and bearing in mind half of us were watching A press conference telling us that we are going under lockdown next week - it’s unsurprising people are a bit less willing to join in.[/quote]
It really isn't a thing there like ot is on the States. I know it was never celebrated in the UK when I was growing up and most people had no clue what it was from 2002 to 2008. Its one of the reason's why we stopped celebrating it. We got out of the habit of it