AIBU to ask if you hug your friends now?

[lockdownagain2020]

I'm going out tonight to a restaurant with a friend I haven't seen in a while, this is actually the first time I'm going out with friends since the 1st lockdown back in March. When I see her, I don't know if I should hug? Don't want it to be awkward. What do you guys do with your friends with the Covid situation?

I didn’t before and certainly don’t know.

But there are other considerations in life apart from Covid. Not that it ever feels like it, but it's still true.

I don’t give a damn that the OP
wants to hug her mates at the pub because she’s a “hugger”. I really really don’t and I point blank refuse to give it “consideration”.

I 100% consider the lives of my parents, my siblings and my aunts and uncles (and their colleagues and patients) who are risking their lives and their mental and physical health day in day out as doctors, nurses and healthcare workers on the front line and who have the added risk of being BAME, most of them in their 50s, 60s, 70s and with other health concerns from Diabetes to COPD and Heart Disease. Why should they even bother when people think “ahhhhh but I’m a hugger so that’s more important”?

A grieving person (and we’ve lost two people this year) yes, every sympathy. Someone suicidal or desperately mentally unwell, yes consideration given to them absolutely.

But not people that are simply being selfish and feel they are above the rules. It’s not okay and it infuriates me knowing what risks the general public are putting frontline workers and the most vulnerable at and really not caring or even thinking about it.

No I don't. At the moment in zone 2 do can't even meet friends in restaurant.

Well I have a few times.

Yes, but only seen 2 friends since April & not a very huggy person on the whole. Both friends are going thru marital breakups. Human beings need touch.

Since March, apart from DH, I have hugged one friend once as her father was dying. I was wearing a mask at the time.
At his funeral I did not hug her or any of her family.

Purely social hugs are completely unnecessary

Loving the "bum bounce". Will definitely try this!

No but I'm not a hugger anyway. Social distancing is a dream for me really.

@BefuddledPerson a mental health hospital. We wear masks, changed 4 hourly, wash hands and sanitise a lot.

[quote unmarkedbythat]@BefuddledPerson a mental health hospital. We wear masks, changed 4 hourly, wash hands and sanitise a lot.[/quote]
In which case I understand why you can't distance, assume you have lots of hands on work. Stay safe tho if possible!

I've hugged my DC (who live an hour away) but no-one else apart from my DH.

1:37IncludeWomenInTheSequel

gingercat02

No but I haven't been going out with my friends, even though it is "allowed" (until Wednesday) there's a pandemic going on in case you hadn't noticed 😡

Yes I believe we're all aware.

But it has been allowed to do all sorts of things for quite some time. The fact that you choose not to is only your issue, it's not logical to get angry at others for doing things which are 'allowed'.

This isn't true. Other than people in your various bubbles you've always been required to keep apart. That's why some people have been doing so.......

@NameChange84

But there are other considerations in life apart from Covid. Not that it ever feels like it, but it's still true.

I don’t give a damn that the OP
wants to hug her mates at the pub because she’s a “hugger”. I really really don’t and I point blank refuse to give it “consideration”.

I 100% consider the lives of my parents, my siblings and my aunts and uncles (and their colleagues and patients) who are risking their lives and their mental and physical health day in day out as doctors, nurses and healthcare workers on the front line and who have the added risk of being BAME, most of them in their 50s, 60s, 70s and with other health concerns from Diabetes to COPD and Heart Disease. Why should they even bother when people think “ahhhhh but I’m a hugger so that’s more important”?

A grieving person (and we’ve lost two people this year) yes, every sympathy. Someone suicidal or desperately mentally unwell, yes consideration given to them absolutely.

But not people that are simply being selfish and feel they are above the rules. It’s not okay and it infuriates me knowing what risks the general public are putting frontline workers and the most vulnerable at and really not caring or even thinking about it.

I hugged my friend as we stood sobbing outside the funeral of our other friend who hung herself.

Sorry if that was selfish but none of us caught or passed on Covid. Contrary to popular belief not everyone is crawling with it at every given moment. And like it or not there are other types of tragedies happening right now too, lots of them due to lockdown. I will not feel guilty for hugging someone as we both fell apart.

@sleepwouldbenice

1:37IncludeWomenInTheSequel

gingercat02

No but I haven't been going out with my friends, even though it is "allowed" (until Wednesday) there's a pandemic going on in case you hadn't noticed 😡

Yes I believe we're all aware.

But it has been allowed to do all sorts of things for quite some time. The fact that you choose not to is only your issue, it's not logical to get angry at others for doing things which are 'allowed'.

This isn't true. Other than people in your various bubbles you've always been required to keep apart. That's why some people have been doing so.......

You've misread/misunderstood that completely but carry on with your faux confused face...

There's a couple that I'll always hug because they're single, live alone and need it. I'd never not give a friend or relative a hug if they wanted /needed one. People need connection.

I know of five suicides locally since March and I'd never forgive myself if someone I knew did that because they felt alone. People are too isolated and it's dangerous.

No

@ReneeRol

There's a couple that I'll always hug because they're single, live alone and need it. I'd never not give a friend or relative a hug if they wanted /needed one. People need connection.

I know of five suicides locally since March and I'd never forgive myself if someone I knew did that because they felt alone. People are too isolated and it's dangerous.

Exactly. I know of three suicides this year too. It's horrific.

No, I haven't hugged, or even shaken hands, with a friend since March.

I’m still yet to see the science behind not hugging... Especially outdoors.

Face to face indoors eating a meal with no masks for 2 hours fine. Brief hug outdoors with faces away massive spreading opportunity hmmmm.

*I hugged my friend as we stood sobbing outside the funeral of our other friend who hung herself.

Sorry if that was selfish but none of us caught or passed on Covid. Contrary to popular belief not everyone is crawling with it at every given moment. And like it or not there are other types of tragedies happening right now too, lots of them due to lockdown. I will not feel guilty for hugging someone as we both fell apart.*

I am sorry for your loss. I did clearly state that with grief and mental illness I felt differently and that I had two losses this year. I was explicitly clear that I felt that the OP and others like her are selfish.

My foster sister (and favourite sister) killed herself in particularly horrific circumstances plastered all over her hometown news in March and her funeral was days prior to the lockdown. I did of course hug her children, her husband, my biological and foster siblings and my parents who raised her after her own parental loss as it was prior to lockdown. I added I’d have every sympathy for those grieving because I think I would at least hug her children again as they’d lost their much adored mother. However, despite at the time advice being that only those who had travelled to Wuhan, Lombardy and other specific areas were at risk of having Covid, one of our relatives who was nursing had it and passed it to several family members. One of whom is a single parent whose heart was damaged by long Covid and who still has to work on Covid wards.

When my Uncle died in May only 6 of us were at the funeral and we knew we couldn’t hug and had to social distance as two in attendance were Shielding (myself included) and the others were all front line medical staff. It was hard and unnatural but we didn’t want to lose any more family members.

And that’s part of why I have zero sympathy for people who want to ignore the guidelines “just because” they are having a social get together with their mates in a restaurant and they are a “hugger”.

And actually I’m in Manchester so Covid is very prevalent where I live. Try telling my family members who are dealing with it day in day out in hospitals and nursing homes that it isn’t.

Depends

I am not much of a hugger so most times it's people hugging me. There's a few people that we both clearly wanted to hug so we do/did

Unless you're both relatives of Mr Tickle and sanitise hands after it's not possible to hug and social distance, so no.

Definitely not hugging friends. A couple of times over the last few months I've hugged my parents and parents-in-law. Sometimes mental health comes first but friends... no way.

No, I've not even hugged my grown up daughter since March.
However, and this is a big however, I did hug my friend whose son died. Wrong of us, but I couldn't not.

A couple of hugs but I’m not a huggy person so I don’t miss it.