To think his parents are miserable bastards for not buying anything for the DC/DGC on birthdays and Christmas?

[ItsBeginningToLookAl0tLikeFuck]

My other halfs parents have never bought our DC birthday cards, presents or so much as a selection box at Christmas (they are long since divorced and live miles apart so are both guilty of this in equal measure)

They don't even give OH a birthday card and he's their son

OH has two lovely older DC from his previous marriage and they get sod all aswell.

OH said the last time he received a gift from his parents was when he was a teenager still living at home. Apparently they just don't "do" presents or cards, or phonecalls to wish anybody a happy birthday, or 99p selection boxes at Christmas

I'm not a grabby person, I think a selection box at Christmas and a card on birthdays would be more than enough and well received. It would certainly make the DC happy.

AIBU to think they are miserable bastards and not very kind?

OP do you have shared finances with DH? If you each have your own money to spend as you like after the bills have been paid, then as long as the money DH 'lends' to his dad there's not much you can do.

But if it comes out of joint/family money and it means that as a family you have less to spend on the DCs, OR if you have separate money but because he lends it to his dad he ends up needing you to sub him out of your spends, then put you foot down.

FIL sounds extremely selfish, where what he wants is important to him (and expects to get it) and to hell with anyone else, and this goes deeper than selection boxes.

What do you know about DH's childhood? How was he treated by his parents?

if you have separate money but because he lends it to his dad he ends up needing you to sub him out of your spends, then put you foot down.

Yes this is pretty much it. We have separate money, but him subbing his dad means he runs out of £ quicker and then I have to shoulder more of the day to day costs.

I wanted to say something to OH last week but decided against it because of the timing. FIL had a health scare and had a week off work (he's ok now) so I didn't want to look like a horrible person by begrudging him £70 quid.

OH's childhood was so/so.

MIL working lots so OH was lumbered with the responsibility of looking after his youngest brother. She was an uninterested parent.

MIL and FIL split up after MIL cheated.

FIL didn't see OH for a year or so.

MIL had various subsequent husbands.

Not a brilliant upbringing by any means.

OH maintains that his dad is a wonderful man and father, not so much his mum.

I do get on well with FIL don't get me wrong. It would just be nice if he made more of an effort with the kids.

My stepDC didn't see FIL for about three years when OH split with his ex wife, so there's a history of minimal effort on his part.

Your DH is happy to burden you so he can feel good about he treats his father. There is a big problem there.

It depends. If they are always stingy with the family, and never give them anything or help them in any way, then yes, I think it's rather miserable (assuming that they aren't poor). However, if they help/ give in other ways, but just aren't that into 'special days', then I think their alternative ways of helping should be accepted with thanks.