To hate when my friends who are in relationships say this to me

[Dalia92]

I'm 29 and single. I would like to meet someone and if I am discussing this with friends I often get the jokey, "You can borrow my boyfriend!", "You can have (insert boyfriend's name), you'll soon change your mind!" It's trivial and I know I'm being ridiculous, but I find it so dismissive and just a reminder of the annoying little habits of someone that wind you up but are part of a relationship. Sorry for the self indulgent post, but feeling lonely tonight and even worse after the lockdown announcement.

@thecatsthecats. this is probably why she is single. She is not actually truly open to finding love, she only wants someone she would see as a “catch”.

[quote CounsellorTroi]@thecatsthecats. this is probably why she is single. She is not actually truly open to finding love, she only wants someone she would see as a “catch”.[/quote]
Ironically, she shows us guys going on about how "gorgeous" they are, when it's very much a case of beauty being in the eye of the beholder!

I could do chapter and verse on why she's single (she's just been a willing partner in an emotional affair with a guy TTC with his partner and she still thinks he's perfect - she can't even see what a cunt he is)...

@SodaPerson

Just being honest, married couples with children have less in common with singletons. And after a few years, will probably lose contact

Codswallop.

I have plenty of married/coupled up friends who still love coming for brunch/drinks.

Not everyone in a relationship ditches their mates to be chained to their partner

In the kindest possible way, I think YAB a bit U op. It may be clumsily done, but people are trying to make you feel better. Look at the intention behind the words, not the words themselves. Instead of getting upset why don't you rep!y along the lines of "I know that but I still feel X, Y, Z" and that may lead to a more productive conversation. But first, try and work out in your own mind what you are hoping to achieve by starting this conversation. If you are feeling lonely and depressed under lockdown which many people are, perhaps it would be better to be more explicit and tell people that . Otherwise, tell people you are just venting and it's nice to have someone to listen so they don't feel under pressure to come up with platitudes. People are very wary of saying "I'm sorry, that must be shit for you" because they don't want to appear to disparage your life as it is now, or the life of anyone who is single.

What do these married couples who exclusively only speak to other married couples do when they get divorced!?

Out of interest what would you prefer them to say OP? I’d like to know as I’m in a similar situation myself.

@Baggingarea the ones I’ve know then move to exclusively speaking to single people. They meet a new bunch of single girls to go out with!

[quote AbbyAbal]@Baggingarea the ones I’ve know then move to exclusively speaking to single people. They meet a new bunch of single girls to go out with![/quote]
I find that so odd but each to their own I suppose.

Similiarly, some of my single friends stopped inviting me out to "go out for a drink", as they knew I had no interesting in doing that anymore and kept declining.

Just because you get married, doesn't mean you can no longer go for a drink, have lunch, go to theirs for a BBQ without your husband.

@KatherineJaneway

Similiarly, some of my single friends stopped inviting me out to "go out for a drink", as they knew I had no interesting in doing that anymore and kept declining.

Just because you get married, doesn't mean you can no longer go for a drink, have lunch, go to theirs for a BBQ without your husband.

Well, in an ideal world that would be true, but I’m astounded by the number of couples I know who seem to be joined at the hip, and have to do everything together! Even mundane things like Drs or dental appointments ( pre Covid obviously) mean that they have to go together! I’m single now but would find always going out together exhausting.