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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Perfumed baby [shock]

81 replies

PieMama2007 · 15/10/2007 16:13

DD (9 mo) has just started nursery and comes home reeking of perfume from one of the carers. I hate it and have to bathe her as soon as she gets home. I've never worn perfume since she was born, because I don't think it's right to bombard her senses with artificial scent. Should I say something?

OP posts:
Doodledootoo · 16/10/2007 21:28

Message withdrawn

hellnats · 17/10/2007 08:43

I opened this thread thinking it was going to be about baby perfume. Which I do think is totally unneccessary (sp?) But no it's about other peoples perfumes rubbing off on your dc - yes I do think you are being completely unreasonable!! Some women - most infact like to smell nice and wear perfume - to be honest i think you are being a bit OTT in stopping wearing it 'because I don't think it's right to bombard her senses with artificial scent' but then each to their own and all that but same goes for nursery teacher if she wants to wear it then she should be able to.

saltire · 17/10/2007 09:16

I used to childmind a little boy, and one day his mum said to me
"I have covered myself in perfume and given him a huge cuddle, because he comes home smelling of you and I want him to smell of me, not you"

I was quite shocked, as I do wear perfume/body spray, but not overpowering, it was obviously rubbing off on the child when I gave him a cuddle.
I actually thought she was being unreasonable and seemed a bit insecure.

I think if you do ask this woman to stop wearing prefume then you are going to have to ask them all, but where does it stop? Do you then ask your mum or MIL not wear perfume because it rubs off on your child when the hug him.
This is why it's happening, the nursery staff aren't going around sporaying perfume over other peoples LOs, it rubs off when giving them hugs, which is surely more important

saltire · 17/10/2007 09:16

Sorry, your DD, not DS!

majormoo · 17/10/2007 11:19

I think Crayon is right in her comments. My DD used to come home smelling differently after a day at the childminders, and I never liked it, but I don't think you can do anything about it. She just smelt different. You could ask this woman not to wear perfume (which personally I think would be a bit rude) but your baby would still come home smelling 'different.'

igivein · 17/10/2007 12:19

You should think yourself lucky to be able to give your DD a bath and then smell her wonderful natural smell. I lost my sense of smell a couple of years before DS was born so I've never been able to smell his scent. i don't think i would mind if he occaisionally smelt 'odd', if I just knew what his 'normal' smell was.

aelita · 17/10/2007 12:20

My DD picks up the smell of perfume from my childminder's daughter and from my MIL. It used to annoy me mildly, but as someone else on here pointed out it means she's being cuddled and given affection. And I wouldn't dream of asking either woman to stop giving her affection or to stop wearing perfume!

seeker · 17/10/2007 12:31

In Continental Europe it's quite common to use a mild eau de cologne on babies after a bath - just like some people here use baby powder. It's very cooling and refreshing in very hot weather. It means that Spanish babies, for example, are inclined to smell of agua de colonia, while British babies often smell of Johnson's baby shampoo! I used to buy the cologne when I visited Spain when dd was little. My Italian SIL scooped her up for a cuddle once and exclaimed "Oh - she smells like a proper baby!"

Hillbilly · 17/10/2007 12:46

I have a Spanish friend who uses a baby cologne on her baby. I think it's totally wierd. The cologne itself is lovely but I think I'd use it for myself not a baby.

seeker · 17/10/2007 12:56

Why is it wierder than baby powder?

gingerninja · 17/10/2007 13:05

My DD also comes home from nursery smelling of perfume and I comment about it every night. I don't wear perfume so the smell is very foriegn to me. BUT she's happy and well cared for so I really don't think it's a point I could take issue with. If it was irritating her skin or something then yes I'd mention it but I think it's probably more about the fact that you are feeling guilty for not doing the caring yourself or for enjoying work, basically something more than her just smelling of someone elses perfume. I think that was the issue with me and once I'd confronted that I could just turn up my nose, bath her and be done with it. You can wash it off at least.

duchesse · 17/10/2007 13:08

I always hated smelling my mil's or mother's scent on my babies. It makes them smell like old ladies. I can't possibly think that YABU, because strong perfume on small babies does smell disgusting, even though logically you cannot stop the nursery staff from wearing what they want.

duchesse · 17/10/2007 13:09

Also, probably reiterating what others have said: at least you know this way that your baby is in good hands as she is getting plenty of cuddles during the day.

papaya · 17/10/2007 13:20

piemama2007 I used to loathe dd being passed back to me smelling of another woman or scent that wasnt familar to me...esp the MIL's perfume. I think its a natural scent marking thing we must have deep down, I used to bathe DD or change her clothes if she smelt of someone else. I have to say DD is now 2.9 and it doesnt bother me as much now so maybe its something we either get used to or dont notice as much as they get older x

newgirl · 17/10/2007 14:08

my dd comes home smelling of disinfectant - i think that is good? not entirely sure..!

BrownSuga · 17/10/2007 16:46

my MIL is of the opinion a whisper of perfurme not a waterfall, so she always smells lovely and DS smells lovely after her cuddles. but most of the time he smells like baby sick and sour milk, so it makes a nice change!

chocbutton · 17/10/2007 19:41

Can understand how you feel, but YABU. As everyone else has said, it shows your DD is being cuddled and given affection. Also, I bet the carer has only put a tiny bit on - you'll notice it on DD straightaway, but I bet you wouldn't smell it if you stood next to the carer.

My DS smells of his grandparents house (sort of washing powder smell) every day, which is not unpleasant at all (but its not the smell of our house) but he loves being there and I bet he associates that smell with being loved and played with.

You'll have to get used to this sort of thing if you are ever going to let her be around other people!

Sixofoneyedmonster · 17/10/2007 22:23

I do empathise, I was walking down the path from my dd's nursery today (she is 16 months) giving her a nice cuddle, thinking omg I wish she didn't smell of the carer's perfume...but I think honestly it is as many others have said, a primal thing - I feel very resentful that my dd doesn't 'smell right' because I have had to give her to someone else to care for her - so it symbolises my guilt if you like too.

And that's all it is really - I am glad she is getting picked up and cuddled - and I am sure your dd beams all over her face with joy when mummy comes to get her!

hellyberry · 18/10/2007 10:34

still laughing at the lynx baby

babybore · 18/10/2007 14:22

I think you and a lot of others here too are being really precious.

Who cares if your baby smells of someone else for a few hours if they're getting cuddles and well looked after?

GibbonInABloodSoakedRibbon · 18/10/2007 14:25

Is this for real?

michymama · 18/10/2007 14:52

Here in Italy Chicco make a brand a baby perfume. Its almost odourless but has lovely baby smell. I always perfume and now DD 4 has started wanting to wear perfume too although I've bought her a childs perfume.

GibbonInABloodSoakedRibbon · 18/10/2007 14:55

It's April the 1st isn't it....I've been abducted and lost time.

lokka · 19/10/2007 13:33

Ok..have to agree with seeker here. I live in Spain and I've recently had a baby. Many of my gifts were sets of matching baby soap, cream ,shampoo and cologne..NOT perfume (it's watery not really strong smelling) I thought wierd at first and didn't use it when he was newborn..as they smell lovely then but now and again I put it on him if we're 'going out'! Beats dirty nappy anyday! I do agree that babies smell lovely, but not all the time and the smells they use here are refreshing..in summer the streets stink of baby cologne when people go out at night with their babies.It's nice!

colditz · 19/10/2007 13:37

I can't bear the smell of other people's washing pawder, it's absurd. Whenever I get given clothes for my children, I am so so very grateful, but even if they have obviously just been washed, and are OBVIOUSLY fresh and nice and clean ... I have to wash them. Even if they are ironed. They don't smell like clothes until I have washed them!