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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Perfumed baby [shock]

81 replies

PieMama2007 · 15/10/2007 16:13

DD (9 mo) has just started nursery and comes home reeking of perfume from one of the carers. I hate it and have to bathe her as soon as she gets home. I've never worn perfume since she was born, because I don't think it's right to bombard her senses with artificial scent. Should I say something?

OP posts:
SaintJude · 15/10/2007 23:25

Better than coming home stinking of cigarette smoke i guess......

FlameBat · 15/10/2007 23:31

DS always smelled of Psychomum whenever we went round there.

It was very odd cuddling him, smelling her, but we coped and got over it.

Tis very much a primitive instinct thing, but nothing that will do any harm in the long run.

You are being a teensy bit precious (first child??) - the world is full of scents, artificial and otherwise, won't harm her senses!

FlameBat · 15/10/2007 23:32

Psycho never "reeks" of perfume in general life - when you are smelling it on your child it smells so much stronger than it really is because it is not the right smell iyswim

hana · 15/10/2007 23:34

I don't htink op is being precious if her daughter is reeking of perfume though, a faint scent is fine, but sounds like the nursery worker is wearing too much perfume and I wouldn't want that ( or to wrok with someone who wears too much either)

Original poster
PieMama2007 · 16/10/2007 19:44

Hmmm - thanks for the conversation - seems like a mixed bag of reactions. Of course I don't have the right to dictate what the nursery woman smells like, but then again, she doesn't have the right to dictate what my baby smells like. And I'm not asking her to do anything unreasonable - asking someone to stop doing something offensive isn't exactly unreasonable. In fact, it's highly unreasonable of her to smear her perfume on my baby - I have no control over this and no say in the matter - she just does it, and some of you think this is ok? The world has gone mad....

On a brighter note - DD has just got over her first tummy bug (inevitable hazard of nursery life, but still distressing) and has had a fab day!

OP posts:
pointydog · 16/10/2007 20:00

No the world hasn't gone mad. You pay someone to look after your child, she happens to wear perfume. By all means mention it, but you should at least be aware that some people will have very different opinions to you.

oranges · 16/10/2007 20:23

I'd be interested in knowing how the nursery carer responds to your request to not wear perfume. I suspect she may just avoid picking your baby up.

Sassib · 16/10/2007 20:26

[Jumps in with both feet]

am newish to mumsnet, although have been lurking for a looong time before posting on these threads....

There is some research to say that artificial musks can be absorbed through the skin and can cause liver damage and interfere with brain activity.

I, too, hate overpowering perfume, it makes me feel sick and gives me a headache. How can a little one protest when they cannot speak?

Interestingly, when I went through IVF. they asked me NOT to wear any perfume - anywhere, as the embryo's dont like it and it can cause them not to implant.

I agree that it is nice to see that someone has been cuddling and playing with LO etc, but I do think that you as a mummy, paying someone to look after your child, have a right to your opinion and say. Tough conversation though!

ADragonIs4LifeNotJustHalloween · 16/10/2007 20:30

"it's highly unreasonable of her to smear her perfume on my baby" Oh FGS, she's not smearing your baby with perfume is she? I doubt very much she's taken the bottle in to spray her with. When we visit my parents, my children's hair smells of the washing powder/conditioner they use, just from sleeping on the pillowcases. Scent transfers very easily.

You are being wholly unreasonable.

CatIsSleepy · 16/10/2007 20:32

i wouldn't get too upset about it.
YAB a bit U
my dd comes home smelling a bit from the CM's -not a bad smell, just different to home.
I think it's something you just have to accept-as others have said, at least it shows your dd has been cuddled/picked up

Tottie32 · 16/10/2007 20:35

if anyone used to hold my dd -now 10 when she was a baby, if they had strong perfume on she would scream and scream, it took a while for us to connect it

Doodledootoo · 16/10/2007 20:38

Message withdrawn

Blandmum · 16/10/2007 20:38

my dd used to yell at men with beards.

I never thought that I had the right to demand that my baby sitter shaved his off.

The woman isn't smearing your child with perfume, it is being transfered as she cares for you dc.

Original poster
PieMama2007 · 16/10/2007 20:39

I know, and I do suspect that IAB a tiny bit U. I'm sure I'll calm down soon enough - still think it's offensive though.

OP posts:
Blandmum · 16/10/2007 20:40

possibly more than a tiny bit?

Tottie32 · 16/10/2007 20:44

I still yell at men with beards, and if you were happy to let dc yell then it is up to you.....

i wasnt happy for it with dd, especially as i wasnt aware of what it may be doing to her > who knows.. we are parent different and accept different things

olala · 16/10/2007 20:46

o yuk. yanbu to think its bad..but like trying said earlier, if you're happy with the nuresry otherwise, I'd keep quiet, I've seen too many lovely family / CM relationships go sour from one misjudged comment from Mum at CM about any number of trivial things..and its so hard to get that relationship back. Unless you make up some allergy that your dd has or something... pretend you are embarassed about even having to mention it, becasue you love wearing perfume as well, but now you can;t ever since the GP told you this was cause of DDs skin complaint? OR something. Lying is always ok to get what you want AND keep your CM / nanny / nursery happy.

olala · 16/10/2007 20:47

o my god - - BABY PERFUME????
As in - TO PUT ON THE BABY!!!
Wow, maybe that's after you';ve oput on her make up, plucked her eyebrows and had her belly button pierced?!
I mean WHAT THE F*CK????
mentalistness.

Tottie32 · 16/10/2007 20:51

oh my goddness

i read it as in perfume for the mum????

that is shocking

Original poster
PieMama2007 · 16/10/2007 20:51

Exactly - on balance, it's better to keep quiet as she is really enjoying nursery and I really don't think it's important enough to be worth rocking the boat. Just picked her up yesterday and went OTT when she smelled so awful - don't like it when people impose unpleasant things on me, and am ferociously defensive about DD. Calm now.... Thanks for views - it does help to get things into perspective. Anyone claim NEVER to overreact to ANYTHING???? lol

OP posts:
olala · 16/10/2007 20:55

No, I am in a constant state of over or under reaction. All I want to do is no reaction and sleep. And when it comes to the DCs, I have done some serioulsy explosive things. I shouted at someone in a toy shop once. The shop assistant. Becasue verything was so expensive AND they didn't have toilets AND I was potty training my ds. All of those things, in combo with exhaustion, meant I just shouted and bawled at her like a COMPLETE mad woman. So your perfume story - thats tame!

Doodledootoo · 16/10/2007 21:15

Message withdrawn

Original poster
PieMama2007 · 16/10/2007 21:18

What kind of mind thinks up these products? LOVE baby smell - warm and sweet, aah....

OP posts:
olala · 16/10/2007 21:24

john lewis?
I'm heartbroken.
IO shop there all the time.
I never knew they stocked such chav.
awful.
sniff

Deludinoid · 16/10/2007 21:24

I think your 'ferocious defensiveness' of your DD has got to give a little at some point in the future if not now. She's only nine months and while I can see that it is not nice for her to smell of something different that you don't like you have to balance this with the reassurance that someone is so obviously caring for her.

The thing is this is nothing compared to all the things in the big wide world that are going to rub off on her in years to come, literally and metaphorically.

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