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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Calling all MN men - viewpoints needed on escorts..

143 replies

Conchinilla · 31/10/2020 08:21

Do nearly all men search online for escorts out of 'curiosity' with no intention of taking it any further? I'm told by my DP that 'all men do this'.
AIBU- yes they do

OP posts:

NiceGerbil · 31/10/2020 16:27

Kolsch which country has brothels work men in that are frequented by women? That sounds really peculiar to me because no it's not usual in the UK.

LuckyAmy1986 · 31/10/2020 17:04

@WilsonMilson don’t you think that’s sign of a really good relationship though? He obviously can be honest and himself with you, I wouldnt be too pissed off!

Dexysmidnightstroller · 31/10/2020 17:15

A long term male friend admitted using them, he felt incapable of a proper relationship with women so it was his only opportunity. Certainly has never had a girlfriend for all the years I have known him. Otherwise no - there are very few things all men do.

GilbertMarkham · 31/10/2020 18:55

Lol at the poster saying there are lots of male escorts/prostitutes so lots of women must use them too.

The main clientele of male prostitutes is not women m'dear.

And if they are women it's usually in couples looking for a mmf threesome etc.

TheSandman · 31/10/2020 18:56

I'm a man and I've never done this.

GilbertMarkham · 31/10/2020 18:58

Op to answer your main question, not a bloke so not what you're really asking for .. but no, I wouldn't believe the majority of men who look up local escorts/prostitutes are doing it out of (only) curiosity .... I'd imagine there is some possibility they are at least considering using them.

GilbertMarkham · 31/10/2020 19:00

If you'd been craftier you wouldn't have confronted at this point, but have watched and waited - if possible - to see what else he did, how much further he went etc.

And before the snoop brigade kicks off - how many people have saved themselves years of misery, deceit, STDs etc by snooping when things felt a bit off.

GenevaL · 31/10/2020 19:02

Asked my husband who is a bit tipsy and asked him to be as brutally honest as he can be and he said no - you’d do it if you were considering seeing a prostitute.

Goosefoot · 31/10/2020 19:07

I would not think that was likely. Mind you I am not a man.

I would not be surprised if there was a good number, who at some point, out of curiosity, had looked up escorts online with no intention of booking them.

I once read an article about a local gay sauna closing, and was surprised such a thing existed in my town at all, and looked to see whether their were others and what their prices were and such. It was kind of eye-opening. Obviously I didn't have any intent to go. Morbid curiosity really.

Goosefoot · 31/10/2020 19:09

Oh I meant to say - I wouldn't expect the curious to keep on doing it.

thedancingbear · 31/10/2020 19:11

I’m a man. Of course we fucking don’t.

stuckdownahole · 31/10/2020 20:00

I'm male and went a very long time between relationships, mostly due to my work pattern making it difficult but also lack of confidence.

At one point when I was considering getting back on the horse, I became worried that I wouldn't be able to perform. I thought about having a one-time thing with an escort to reassure myself. I searched online but never went through with it because I decided it would probably be a miserable experience. The thought just didn't turn me on and believe you me, I was quite easily turned on by that stage!

Once I did find a new partner, it turned out that my fears were unfounded. So I wouldn't search online again.

My situation doesn't sound much like your DH's, OP.

Onesmallstepforaman · 31/10/2020 20:07

Have never, will never. It doesn't appeal. Wouldn't want to put anyone in the position of having been bought.

sapnupuas · 31/10/2020 20:15

So, I googled out of curiosity due to this thread and this is what is on offer in my city...

WilsonMilson · 31/10/2020 20:28

@LuckyAmy1986 you’re right, I thought more about it afterwards and realised there was no hesitation when he answered and complete honesty from him. He clearly feels he can be himself with me, and I’m glad about that. We do generally have a great relationship.

JazzyJelly · 31/10/2020 20:42

Another warhammer widow here. Turns out exDH was into both orks and prostituted women.

nosswith · 31/10/2020 20:52

I am a man and have not. The only reason I am aware of sites that escorts/prostitutes (or whatever term you use to describe women who offer sexual 'services') is because of Harriet Harman's campaign to close down one site, and because a former boss was using one.

ScrommidgeClaryAndSpunt · 31/10/2020 21:14

Er.... nope.

HisNibs · 31/10/2020 21:29

Another bloke here... sorry OP, your DP is talking bollocks. Never felt the need to nor do I know of any male friends that have

Lightsoutallout · 31/10/2020 21:56

I just asked DH if he has ever searched for escorts in our area out of curiosity and he said "are escorts the ones you just take out for dinner or are they the ones you are supposed to have sex with"

BadLad · 01/11/2020 00:49

Looking them up out of curiosity with no intention of actually hiring an escort is probably not unheard of, but I'd guess much less common than looking on such sites in order to hire one.

Perhaps a similar situation is going into a shop, picking up a small but expensive item and putting it in your pocket to see if it fits and whether you'll be able to carry it round in your pocket. A few people might do that, but I think most would be hoping to nick it. And it's going to seem like a flimsy explanation.

I'm not likening escorts to things in shops. Just trying to think of another situation where there's an improbable innocent explanation and a much more likely nefarious one.

All that said, I was curious enough to have a look at puntersnet when I first heard of it, which was from a thread on here.

LockdownLump · 01/11/2020 00:59

but do admit to being very curious about pricing, booking procedures and even reviews left

Urgh, disgusting. You really like to read other men's reviews. Giving score for the woman they've just paid to use as a wank sock??

You sound absolutely charming.

LockdownLump · 01/11/2020 01:54

So, I googled out of curiosity due to this thread and this is what is on offer in my city...

And....? What's your point?

jessstan1 · 01/11/2020 02:28

@MinnieMD

I have personally searched for escorts in my area, I have absolutely no intention of booking one but do admit to being very curious about pricing, booking procedures and even reviews left. I think it was after a thread like this actually. Do I think it’s an ‘all men thing’? Certainly not.

I can understand the curiosity, Minnie, from both sexes. It is a glimpse into another world. I bet you don't get much information online though, only what is put in adverts.

Willyoujustbequiet · 01/11/2020 02:39

Asked DH.....no chance, sad bastards was the reply

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