My ExH is a dick, I need an alibi

[TravellingSpoon]

so that when I go over and smother him the police wont think its me.

Its his birthday today, DD chose a nice jumper for him, gave it to him on Monday when she saw him and he opened it today as he is spending today with his GF.

DD got a message this evening which simply read 'thanks for the jumper, do you have a receipt?'.

DD is crushed and he is such an arse. He has a history of wanky behaviour since our split just over a year ago, and they have only just started spending time together again as he didn't see them from Christmas to the beginning of August.

TWATWAFFLE.

@MinnieJackson we'll budge up on the couch for you!

@CaraDuneRedux

For Christmas, buy him a ticket for the Orient Express Coventry to Birmingham stopping train (cheapskate? Me? ). We'll all come. Without any meddling Belgian detectives.

I’m in

Seriously OP, what a prick. Can you take out life insurance on an ex btw?

I’m in Wales, digging a body hole an escape tunnel to sneak under the English border... I’ll only need it till the 9th...

[quote 81Byerley]@WillYouDoTheFandango what a fantastic man! have you still got him?[/quote]
I have. I’ve tried to give him away but no one else will take him

@WillYouDoTheFandango is that because he's still wearing the Frozen top

That's so rude. She shouldn't buy him a present again. Like you said if it didn't fit he should have said that as that makes sense to ask about an exchange then. Just asking for the receipt is saying you didn't like it.

Total bastard. I bet he enjoyed sending that text as well. Doesn't deserve his wonderful children.

@OnceUponAMidnightBeery

I’m in Wales, digging a body hole an escape tunnel to sneak under the English border... I’ll only need it till the 9th...

Not sure it will do you much good now!

Not read the whole thread but I will do yours if you do mine

Not only were you here with me drinking wine and watching scary movies, I also have two patios. One for your personal use if you wish. The other? Well I'm not telling.

You've been here all night drinking champagne and roasting a friends new baby over zoom 👌🏻

Toasting 😂fml

DH tried to put soy sauce on a Greek salad earlier OP, fancy a twofer?

What an utter wankbadger OP. I have a digger in my garden and I've got some foundations going in on Monday. Just sayin'.
And you were clearly up north with me helping me strip wallpaper.
(My neighbour keeps pigs though if you're worried about evidence).
Lots of treats and cuddles for your DD, poor her.

Can we do a Trevor jordache on him please.

You kill mine and I’ll kill yours!

I was about to offer the same, perhaps a 3 way split? Less chance of being caught.

What about some kind of murderous Secret Santa arrangement? Happy to organise.

@Sn0tnose

You kill mine and I’ll kill yours!

I was about to offer the same, perhaps a 3 way split? Less chance of being caught.

What about some kind of murderous Secret Santa arrangement? Happy to organise.

Ooh, that sounds great! I’m in

We're very much erring into "the purge" territory here. Perhaps apt for Halloween though? Could get very complicated with people not knowing who killed who's ex - that's an advantage though

Hmmm looks like @Ratsindahouse might be wrong, looks like I’ll need it till December 2nd (with a small toll of course ) after that, it’s just a big hole that needs filling in... BYO shovels...