not to want a personal trainer for Xmas

[UntamedWisteria]

FFS. DH actually starts the weekend off by asking if I'd like him to buy me some gym sessions with a personal trainer for Xmas.

No, I fucking don't.

I would, however like him to stop buying Chocolate biscuits, which he mainlines but I still eat some of too, and take a bit more responsibility for his health.

He's more overweight than I am, and at least I go running occasionally.

I hope he does want to try it together. Maybe that was what he was trying to suggest in a ham fisted way ie he knows you'd like him to lose weight and doesn't want to go alone.

Men always go for upping exercise over changing diet. They know you can't outrun your fork but somehow doing something (exercise) is easier than stopping doing something (biscuits). DH is a lot fitter but still a bit chubby because he does not acknowledge the diet side of the equation but fortunately I think fat is a lot more aesthetic when accompanied by some muscle and men build muscle easily. I can get onboard with a power lifter/ lumberjack kind of look.

I look on our shared PT sessions as an investment in our relationship like a weekend away or a night out as no-one is less attractive for doing a bit of exercise I reckon.

This was a slightly light hearted post...
It doesn't come across that way when you post later about how angry you are.

@UntamedWisteria
You didn’t come in here asking for support?
You came on here to rant...and your post certainly doesn’t come across as lighthearted. Plus, you didn’t mention any other exercise you did other than saying you did C25k a few years ago and ran sometimes. In light of all of that, I don’t think anything I said was unreasonable. I asked if it had touched a nerve....I still think I’m right.

I also agree with others...just don’t eat the biscuits. Struggling with will power really isn’t an excuse.

If your rant about raging was an attempt at humour, it really hasn’t worked...

Thanks for the helpful advice @Alexkate2468. it's clearly all my fault that I'm fat for being weak-willed and giving in to biscuit temptation.

Thanks for fat-shaming me, it's what I really needed to understand my predicament and deal with it in a positive way. I feel sure I'll be able to move on now. Thank you again for helping me understand it was my fault.

Oh for gods sake, no one is fat shaming you. You are unfairly blaming your husband for whatever it is about yourself that you don't like and it's been pointed out that that is unfair.

How in earth am I fat shaming you??
Seriously...I don’t even know if you are fat?
There is clearly a nerve being touched here...

I have suggested (before you elaborated on your amount of exercise) that you may not be as fit as you thought...that is very different from fat.

I have said that you don’t need to eat biscuits - you are the one who said you were eating them and struggled with self-control.

I have pointed out that your ‘rage’ seemed disproportionate to your husband’s suggestion. You tried to pass it off as lighthearted when it is clearly not....

None of that is fat shaming....or even close to it...

Also, by your last comment about it being pointed out that it’s all your fault...is an attempt to play victim.

It will actually be good for you to take responsibility for whatever it is that this thread has triggered in you. There’s only you who can do something about it.
I honestly don’t see how any of this is your husband’s fault.

If you are unhappy do as you suggested and share the PT sessions and make whatever else changes you need to make.

You contradict yourself too by now saying you needed it to be treated positively and wanted support (which I think I did... maybe bluntly but not negatively) but then saying it was lighthearted.

@UntamedWisteria

Thanks for the helpful advice *@Alexkate2468*. it's clearly all my fault that I'm fat for being weak-willed and giving in to biscuit temptation.

Thanks for fat-shaming me, it's what I really needed to understand my predicament and deal with it in a positive way. I feel sure I'll be able to move on now. Thank you again for helping me understand it was my fault.

I do feel very sorry for your poor husband.

You obviously have issues with your body and your image. If it's a problem for you, do something about it, it's not healthy to be so bitter.

I am not fat-shaming you, I don't know you, you can be as skinny as anything for all I know, I am only referring to your attitude.

Exercise is a PLEASURE, it's a hobby people do because they enjoy it. Nothing to do with your weight. If you are not interested in a PT, it doesn't matter, no one is forcing you to have one. Suggest something you would like instead.

You'd think there were suggestions of a weight watcher membership the way you react.. and even that, if the context was that you kept referring to them, wouldn't be insulting either.

@UntamedWisteria

Thanks for the helpful advice *@Alexkate2468*. it's clearly all my fault that I'm fat for being weak-willed and giving in to biscuit temptation.

Thanks for fat-shaming me, it's what I really needed to understand my predicament and deal with it in a positive way. I feel sure I'll be able to move on now. Thank you again for helping me understand it was my fault.

Nobody is “fat shaming” you.

And if you are overweight, then it’s nobody’s fault but your own. You have personal responsibility, self control and willpower.

You don’t have to eat the biscuits he buys just because they’re there, and he shouldn’t have to stop buying them because you can’t control yourself.

FFS, do the people who are telling OP to get some self control rather than want her DH to stop bringing lots of snacks home realise that humans only have a certain amount of will-power? If the snacks are constantly available it would be incredibly hard to resist temptation long term, especially if other things in life require will-power. Plus we all vary in how much we desire certain foods. I'm lucky in that I don't tend to crave snacks but even I struggle when I'm constantly reminded of them and they're there for the picking.