Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

not to want a personal trainer for Xmas

85 replies

UntamedWisteria · 30/10/2020 19:09

FFS. DH actually starts the weekend off by asking if I'd like him to buy me some gym sessions with a personal trainer for Xmas.

No, I fucking don't.

I would, however like him to stop buying Chocolate biscuits, which he mainlines but I still eat some of too, and take a bit more responsibility for his health.

He's more overweight than I am, and at least I go running occasionally.

OP posts:
LucillevsLowkee · 31/10/2020 12:15

*coach? couch!

zigaziga · 31/10/2020 12:36

@LucillevsLowkee I think MN is full of people who like to have raging arguments with their spouses over everything.

PT wouldn’t be for me. I know because I’ve tried it a few times before. I wouldn’t be angry at someone suggesting it though. My DH often throws ideas around of things I might like and asks for my response .. I thought that was quite normal?

Thehop · 31/10/2020 12:39

I’d tell him I’d get more out of a weekly massage

MiddlesexGirl · 31/10/2020 14:02

I agree with you OP about self-control. It's much easier to resist something that isn't actually there.
But I think you're being harsh about your dp - seems quite a thoughtful idea - no reason to assume he thinks you're overweight - you like running so you might like a nice fit personal trainer and some 'me' time. And he asked if you'd like it. He didn't just get it anyway.
I wish my dp was as thoughtful!

MiddlesexGirl · 31/10/2020 14:20

Get him to put the snacks in a locked cupboard/container.

DougRossIsTheBoss · 31/10/2020 16:04

I think the point of others saying they'd like it is to point out that it's not such an outrageous gift idea. It's not in the same league as eg an ironing board or something. It's a gift some people would like and some wouldn't. He asked her. She didn't like it so he didn't buy it.
Why the rage?

It appears to be because she thinks he's saying she's fat and she thinks he should lose weight himself which is a whole separate issue.

It's not unreasonable not to want this gift (I wouldn't want a handbag) but it is unreasonable to react so aggressively to the suggestion.

DH and I have shared PT sessions which we both really value. It was my idea. He is more unfit than I am as he has a sedentary job and worse eating habits but he didn't feel criticised by my suggestion. He saw it was a good idea and we both really enjoy it.

Maybe OPs DH would like to do this together? It's worth suggesting at least.

SicklyToaster · 31/10/2020 16:11

Not wanting one is fine, raging because someone asked is unreasonable.
It sounds like you're pretty active, a personal trainer isn't exactly a left-field suggestion for someone who seems to actively be working on their fitness.

vanillandhoney · 31/10/2020 16:13

As you're into fitness, I really don't think it's such an outrageous gift idea! Lots of people would love a personal trainer, or a years gym membership for Christmas - those things are expensive so not having to worry about financing them for 12 months isn't exactly a bad thing!

AuntyMabelandPippin · 31/10/2020 16:13

I miss my PT classes. They've not restarted them yet at our gym, I have to make do with exercise classes instead.

Sexnotgender · 31/10/2020 16:15

Wow, that’s a really shit thing to ask. Unless you’ve expressed an interest previously!

Splodgetastic · 31/10/2020 16:15

Sounds like you could do with losing about 12 stone.

LucillevsLowkee · 31/10/2020 16:16

@Sexnotgender

Wow, that’s a really shit thing to ask. Unless you’ve expressed an interest previously!
why is that a "really shit thing" exactly?
Sexnotgender · 31/10/2020 16:22

Because it has the implication that she needs to use a PT.

Figgyboa · 31/10/2020 16:22

@justanotherneighinparadise

My answer would be yes please!!!
Same here!!
vanillandhoney · 31/10/2020 16:27

@Sexnotgender

Because it has the implication that she needs to use a PT.
What's wrong with using a Personal Trainer?

PT's don't exist just to encourage lazy slobs off the sofa - lots of super-fit people use personal trainers for a whole variety of reasons. OP says she's done C25K and likes going on hikes - it's not outside the realms of possibility that she may like a PT as a gift.

Not everything a man does has to be insulting!

emilyfrost · 31/10/2020 16:32

Clearly, he thinks I'm too fat. Because of all the chocolate biscuits he keeps buying.

Whether you’re overweight or not, you have personal responsibility and self control. You don’t have to eat anything he buys, and he’s allowed to buy biscuits for himself.

MrsTerryPratchett · 31/10/2020 16:32

A friend of mine got a PT, got really buff and then left her schlubby husband for him. Her FB is full of hot PT pictures. Grin Just saying.

nc1962 · 31/10/2020 16:48

I'd ask him if he wants some liposuction or Botox vouchers for Christmas.

Original poster
UntamedWisteria · 31/10/2020 16:55

@Splodgetastic

Sounds like you could do with losing about 12 stone.
Grin

I think

OP posts:
Original poster
UntamedWisteria · 31/10/2020 16:57

I'm actually going to suggest we do it together as a PP suggested.

I'll report back here.

Thanks to everyone who 'gets' it.

Amazing number don't though. This was a slightly light hearted post, posted at cocktail hour on a Friday. Just saying ...

OP posts:
Goatinthegarden · 31/10/2020 16:59

I once got really upset when a (now ex) bf Offered to buy me a gym Membership. At the time, I thought he was calling me fat, now I realise it was a response to me feeling down about being slightly overweight, him noticing and trying to suggest a way I might feel better.

I’m in a different place now and enjoy exercise. Now if someone made a similar suggestion, I’d take it differently and think it was a thoughtful idea. Given you are reasonably fit and enjoy walking/running, he genuinely thought you’d enjoy the experience?

willowywillow · 31/10/2020 17:01

Are there any types of chocolate biscuits he likes but you don't? Maybe he could get those ones instead of ones you like too?

LucillevsLowkee · 31/10/2020 17:02

@Sexnotgender

Because it has the implication that she needs to use a PT.
how ridiculous

So if anyone offers you voucher for a facial, a hairdresser, you take it as a personal insult too?

Some of us enjoy exercise, and having a PT is a treat. But some people must find offence in everything don't they.

LucillevsLowkee · 31/10/2020 17:03

@UntamedWisteria

I'm actually going to suggest we do it together as a PP suggested.

I'll report back here.

Thanks to everyone who 'gets' it.

Amazing number don't though. This was a slightly light hearted post, posted at cocktail hour on a Friday. Just saying ...

we "get" it, we don't agree with you.

Calling it "light hearted" doesn't make you right.

Ihatefish · 31/10/2020 17:55

Blimey -maybe sessions with an anger management coach?