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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

not to want a personal trainer for Xmas

85 replies

UntamedWisteria · 30/10/2020 19:09

FFS. DH actually starts the weekend off by asking if I'd like him to buy me some gym sessions with a personal trainer for Xmas.

No, I fucking don't.

I would, however like him to stop buying Chocolate biscuits, which he mainlines but I still eat some of too, and take a bit more responsibility for his health.

He's more overweight than I am, and at least I go running occasionally.

OP posts:
CommanderBurnham · 30/10/2020 20:44

Tell him that you could do with a lean trim man with healthy habits to talk to occasionally

FilthyforFirth · 30/10/2020 21:00

God I would love this so much. Desperate for a PT. I think I would respond really well to be shouted at, lord knows I need the motivation!

Sorry, not helpful to you but this would be an amazing gift for me!

DougRossIsTheBoss · 30/10/2020 21:15

For many people on this thread clearly it would be a much welcomed gift.

I love my PT sessions. I see it as very much an luxury investment in me and in the same vein as a massage or a hair cut.

You see it as him saying your fat but it doesn't necessarily mean that IMHO.

Original poster
UntamedWisteria · 30/10/2020 22:36

You know you don't have to eat the biscuits yes?

Clearly, you've never struggled with self control.

I'd prefer not to buy them in the first place then I don't have to.

OP posts:
Leaannb · 30/10/2020 23:05

@UntamedWisteria

You know you don't have to eat the biscuits yes?

Clearly, you've never struggled with self control.

I'd prefer not to buy them in the first place then I don't have to.

Your lack of self control is your issue. Not his. You need to manage your own eating habits and he needs to manage his own.. However, he was a complete knob for suggesting that
RosieCrumpet · 30/10/2020 23:56

I would love this. The vast, vast majority of people who use personal trainers aren't overweight. You can find a reason to be offended by literally any gift - believe me, my mother does it on every occasion no matter what the gift is.

Wannatrim · 31/10/2020 00:25

Do it! Having a PT is the best thing ever, you build a relationship working towards your goals & they work so well with you. You can have a good laugh with them too. Once you're fit, strong & toned you can find a better DH! Believe me, you'll love it once you get started.

Wannatrim · 31/10/2020 00:26

Only joking re getting better DH :)

KunekuneKristmasCake · 31/10/2020 00:30

I’d be cross too

HugeAckmansWife · 31/10/2020 10:14

OP yes I struggle with self control and with kids in the house who want constant snacks, realistically I have to use some. It's a choice. I'm overweight, am trying hard to do something about that. You don't sound like you're happy with yourself and you dh was maybe trying to support you?

Anothermother3 · 31/10/2020 10:28

I’d love this as I am slowly getting back to normal weight but could do with some toning. My dh said maybe I should do sit ups when I mentioned I was half way to my weight loss goal 😡 I’m not even officially overweight now but I’ve had 3 big babies though so I’m not sure what a few sit ups will do. Sorry for the tangent but let’s LTBs

Poptart4 · 31/10/2020 10:50

I have seen many threads were people have asked advise on how to tell a partner that their weight is a problem and 99% of responses have said to suggest going to the gym/exercising. So your not actually telling the person you think their fat but encouraging them to get fit.

That's what your partner has done and hes being condemned for it.

Why dont you talk to him about it and suggest since you both could do with losing a couple of pounds that you should work out together.

SavageBeauty73 · 31/10/2020 10:51

I'd love a personal trainer!

AllPlayedOut · 31/10/2020 10:57

YANBU.

What exactly is the point of everyone saying that they'd love to have a PT? It's irrelevant to the OP who clearly doesn't want one and wouldn't appreciate it. A lot of people would love to have a designer handbag but I wouldn't and I really wouldn't appreciate receiving one regardless of how much others might love it. It's only a great gift if the recipient would enjoy it.

Rotundandhappy · 31/10/2020 11:06

I’d love this. I have PT and I love training each week. The more I train, the more disciplined I become with eating and self control. When i see the results, I find myself even more motivated to enhance them with diet and exercise.

Rotundandhappy · 31/10/2020 11:06

@AllPlayedOut everyone is just joining in with how they’d feel if their other half made the same suggestion. We’re allowed not to agree with the OP.

Alexkate2468 · 31/10/2020 11:10

I can understand you being a little offended but your reaction here seems huge...either there is more to it or this has really hit a nerve and an uncomfortable truth?

Alexkate2468 · 31/10/2020 11:11

Also I wouldn’t say running occasionally and doing C25k means you are fit...

LucillevsLowkee · 31/10/2020 11:23

I'm already quite fit - I did C25k 3 years ago, and have continued running since.

so it's hardly insulting. He asked, it's a reasonable present idea, many people would love that. You don't, you tell me, why the need for "rage"? Hmm

wowfudge · 31/10/2020 11:29

It would be different if he were thinking of getting a PT himself and was asking whether you'd be interested in order to support workout together as support for him. I'd love it, but that's because I enjoy it.

Original poster
UntamedWisteria · 31/10/2020 11:48

Wow Alexkate2468 way to support someone.

I am a lot fitter than most other menopausal women my age, and my BMI is in the normal range, thanks.

I run 5k every week, do at least 2 strenuous hikes of about 7k a week and also walk the dog for an hour every day.

The point is I'm fitter than DH, not as overweight, and he's suggesting I'm the one who needs the personal trainer? While continuing to bring unhealthy snack food into the house when I have repeatedly asked him not to.

OP posts:
cologne4711 · 31/10/2020 11:48

@Onjnmoeiejducwoapy

I started with a PT a few months back and I LOVE it, has done wonders for my self esteem, my fitness and my mental health. Honestly? I would be thrilled with that as a present! It’s one of the few experiences you can do during a lockdown, plus it’s a great way of carving out time for yourself
Hmm I am not sure anyone was meant to be using a PT during lockdown. I know one who started working again outside only once people were allowed to meet with one other person, but mine didn't restart until July. However, we don't know what the new rules will be - I am very much hoping we'll still be able to exercise in small groups or with one other person outside.
MiniMum97 · 31/10/2020 11:49

@Iamnotminterested

Sounds like Gymhausens by Proxy to me.

I'd tell him to fuck right off.

Brilliant! I'm using that one. ROFL. 😂😂😂😂
LucillevsLowkee · 31/10/2020 12:13

@AllPlayedOut

YANBU.

What exactly is the point of everyone saying that they'd love to have a PT? It's irrelevant to the OP who clearly doesn't want one and wouldn't appreciate it. A lot of people would love to have a designer handbag but I wouldn't and I really wouldn't appreciate receiving one regardless of how much others might love it. It's only a great gift if the recipient would enjoy it.

the point is that it's not a ridiculous or outrageous offer, it's quite a popular gift. He ASKED, he didn't even buy them.

Not of OP"s taste, fine. No need for rage is it.

Would you rage if someone offers to buy you a designer handbag? Or would you just decline saying there are better things you'd rather have?

LucillevsLowkee · 31/10/2020 12:15

@Alexkate2468

Also I wouldn’t say running occasionally and doing C25k means you are fit...
just realised it means coach to 5k, I thought the OP was doing 25k runs weekly Blush 😂