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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

How to divide bills fairly...

62 replies

Newbiemum20 · 29/10/2020 17:28

Hi everyone, first time posting so here goes...

Just wondering what everyone's take is on how to best split me and my DH's shared monthly costs. Planning for when my normal wage resumes after going back after mat leave.

Our total household bills will come to £2k, that includes: mortgage, all bills (water, gas, council tax, TV subscriptions etc.), groceries and childcare costs each month.

Plus, we need to service some debt at around £300 per month. So really let's say £2300.

My husband earns around £800 per month more than me. How would you split this so that I still feel I'm paying my way and contributing fairly but that at the same time still have a fair amount of disposable income for ourselves.

What do you think.. AIBU to say a split of:

Me: £900 // DH: £1400

OP posts:
nimbuscloud · 29/10/2020 17:31

We never split finances. Both salaries went into one joint account. All expenditure came out of that account. We each spend what we want.

DaddysGirlForLife · 29/10/2020 17:32

How much do you both earn?

nimbuscloud · 29/10/2020 17:32

Would that work for you?

MaskingForIt · 29/10/2020 17:34

What is your take home pay as a ratio? Put the same ratio into the joint account.

vanillandhoney · 29/10/2020 17:35

Pay an amount in so that you both have the same left at the end of each month.

SurferRona · 29/10/2020 17:37

Depends on percentages. We pay into joint account 60% of what we each take home to cover all joint bills. What’s left over is savings, pension and spends. We’re not too far apart re take home pay, may adjust 60:40 if there was disparity I guess.

OnTheBenchOfDoom · 29/10/2020 17:37

@vanillandhoney

Pay an amount in so that you both have the same left at the end of each month.
This. Make sure baby stuff comes out of the joint money.

We did it this way, in reality Dh spent less than me so he just moved excess money from his personal account into the savings account which went toward holidays etc. But then he is very selfless.

speakout · 29/10/2020 17:40

We don't.

In our relationship we have always put in equal effort and all finances are pooled.

I was a SAHM for a long time and not earning, but did the burden of childcare and housework.
I then started working part time, and although OH did a good share of domestic work I did the larger part because I had more time.

Working to support and maintain a family is not just about paid work, it is about all the oher stuff too. And although caring for kids or doing laundry does not earn a wage it supports the welfare of the family.

So we have always regarded any earnings as joint earnings- we put in an equal amount of work into supporting out life.

Plus I really couldn't be arsed working out paying parts of gas bills and who ate what.

unmarkedbythat · 29/10/2020 17:44

We don't split. It's one pot. All income is ours equally, all outgoings are ours equally, I cannot be doing with arsing around quibbling over ratios and proportions.

maryberryslayers · 29/10/2020 17:50

All goes in to one joint pot, then each takes what they want after bills are paid and joint savings are topped up. Anything left is rolled over to cover months with higher costs. My DH earns over 3x what I do but we see that as irrelevant. I look after DS 2 days per week and manage the bulk of our home and finances.

HeyMicky · 29/10/2020 17:51

We keep an equal amount of play money, everything else goes into the joint account. Kids stuff comes from that.

Original poster
Newbiemum20 · 29/10/2020 17:53

@OnTheBenchOfDoom

That's true. At the moment I simply transfer money over to my DH each month to cover my share as all the direct debits are in his name and from his account. I moved in with him a few years ago and only in 2018 did I have some I inheritance that I paid in to the house so the mortgage is in both our names. I know we need to eventually set up a joint account but at the moment it's just so much hassle to transfer all those direct debits across and change 🙈 - so currently all our money is seperate. Which I agree isn't ideal when we'll start to have more costs and things to buy for DD. And also, we'll need to both start thinking about saving for a holiday (hopefully!!) next year.

OP posts:
Alfiemoon1 · 29/10/2020 17:55

We just pay both our wages into a joint account all bills come out of there and we both spend what we want out of the joint account

nikkylou · 29/10/2020 18:02

We put 50% of our respective incomes into the joint account. At the moment this works out about a 55/45 % split between us. If I get pay rise, this should bring us more to 50/50, if dp has a pay rise, the ratio increases.

We do pay for our own cars, loans and clothes etc out of our 'disposable' , so if these come from the joint and your disposable is pure personal money - for coffees etc. And obviously if your bills come to more than 50% of your respective salaries together, maybe up the percentage to 60/70/80 % of your salary.

This should give you both proportionally the same amount of disposable income even if that's a different amount. So if you take home 2000 and he 2800 , you'd have 1000 per month. And he 1400

This does work for us for now. I think if one of our incomes drastically changes so there is huge disparity, or our outgoings increase, then we'll review. I'm sure once we have children more of our income will go on 'the family' - like family cars, clothes, outings rather than my / his stuff, and we will definitely need a more firm budget rather than the vague idea we currently have.....

BuffaloCauliflower · 29/10/2020 18:03

Everything gets paid into and out of one joint account, we’re married it’s all shared

BashfulClam · 29/10/2020 18:04

We worked out what % of our combined take home pay the bills were and each pay in the % of our wage. Put bills represent 42% of our combined wage, we each pay in 42% of our wage.

Lazypuppy · 29/10/2020 18:06

We do it based in salary. So our household income is 100%, i earn 60% of that so i put in enough to cover 60% of billa in joint account, DP does 40%.

We then pay for our own bils and spending and saving out of what we each have left

Nanny0gg · 29/10/2020 18:09

I dont understand how, in a marriage, it's right for one person to have more assets and more disposable income thsn the other. Especially if they have children

Keha · 29/10/2020 18:13

Decide on a certain amount of money you both get as your spending money and then everything else in the joint account. He doesn't get more disposable income because he earns more, you should have the same.

Lazypuppy · 29/10/2020 18:13

@Nanny0gg because people earn different amounts, and you should be able to spend the money you esrn how you want to. Some people are happy to combine others aren't, its not that hard to understand.

I think it also varies if both partners work full time, or if one is part time, as then their contribution to home life should be considered. Both me and my DP work full time, with nonplans for either of us to ever drop to part time so not an issue

MinnieMountain · 29/10/2020 18:18

Pre-DS we split it according to salary. Once we had DS (and I spent 3 years as a SAHM) it all went into one pot.

SleepingStandingUp · 29/10/2020 18:20

Depends what your goal is. Paying proportionate punt of equal spends?

Soontobe60 · 29/10/2020 18:20

I earn double what my DH earns. We have separate spending accounts and a set equal amount is transferred into them each month. Everything else is in our joint current account and joint savings accounts.

Punkpumpkin · 29/10/2020 18:24

We pay everything in to a joint account then each get an equal amount of spending money transferred in to our own personal accounts.

To me this is the fairest way.

Nanny0gg · 29/10/2020 18:28

[quote Lazypuppy]**@Nanny0gg because people earn different amounts, and you should be able to spend the money you esrn how you want to. Some people are happy to combine others aren't, its not that hard to understand.

I think it also varies if both partners work full time, or if one is part time, as then their contribution to home life should be considered. Both me and my DP work full time, with nonplans for either of us to ever drop to part time so not an issue[/quote]
So if one earned substantially more than the other, that would be ok?

Nope. Still not my idea of the point of marriage