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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

. . . To be dreading "bonfire night"

127 replies

AllesAusLiebe · 29/10/2020 17:08

Hi everyone,

So, I'll start by saying that I'm not originally from the UK and I don't want to criticise the customs and traditions here.

I've got a 2 year old and a cat and every single year, I dread this holiday.

The worst thing about it for me is that it isn't just one night. My cat has been completely losing his shit since last weekend because of people setting off fireworks. I've tried creating a little corner of the living room for him and have a Feliway plug in, but the poor little guy is terrified.

Then, there's my son. I thought that due to coronavirus, this year would be a more scaled back affair, but I'm dreading next Thursday as I know that the lack of outdoor displays will mean that more people will be setting fireworks off in their gardens. He sleeps well, but lightly. I have visions of him being woken up multiple times during the next week. He's generally scared of loud noise, and he's too young for me to explain to him what's going on.

So, if you've got small kids and/or pets, what do you do? Does anyone else absolutely hate this, or do I need to stop being such a spoilsport and embrace it?

OP posts:
Nottherealslimshady · 29/10/2020 17:37

YANBU they should be banned. It's about time we stopped throwing our dangerous waste into the air because it's pretty.

Meowza74 · 29/10/2020 17:39

I hate it too. My poor cat totally shits himself and it takes days for him to stop being jumpy. Fireworks in general make me twitchy and anxious.

I'm going to barricade me and cat in my room with Netflix, dreamies and a box of wine.

WoobyWoo · 29/10/2020 17:40

I love fireworks and have never had a dog or child who was bothered by them but the tide has seemed to turn over the last few years, especially on the local Facebook hubs where people cannot stand them.

Parker231 · 29/10/2020 17:41

I would ban personal sales of fireworks and have organised professional events only but obviously this can’t happen this year.

HerRoyalNotness · 29/10/2020 17:41

My son hates loud noises so he’s always worn ear defenders. Surely he can understand if you show him the fireworks out the window and associate that with the noise? You just have to keep on tbh. A late night/disturbed sleep here and there isn’t harmful. Not sure about the cat thing.

Heyahun · 29/10/2020 17:47

Maybe you should go out and enjoy some fireworks with your child and he might enjoy and have less fear - he’s probably afraid because he’s inside hearing noise and doesn’t know what it is

Not sure what you can do for the cat other than what you are already doing

My cat used to just hide under the bed upstairs when there was fireworks. She got over it once they stopped pretty quick

Sweettea1 · 29/10/2020 17:48

My dd hates loud noises but given we have heard fireworks going of every night throughout October she is getting used to them an doesn't run round crying now so hoping she will be OK on bonfire night but not sure. The plan is to turn tv up a bit louder than normal then leave the radio on low in bedroom while she sleeps.

slipperywhensparticus · 29/10/2020 17:48

Chill drops for the cat crank up the telly and keep the place warm

I wish silent fireworks were popular

My neighbour has got hold of some high grade ones the type you get for displays we have really small gardens its going to be a bit loud

Poppyismyfavourite · 29/10/2020 17:48

I absolutely LOVE fireworks but round here they have been going off every evening for over a week already! I actually asked DH what event happened on the 20th of October???
Our cats and chickens are pretty upset by them, I wish people would be more considerate and stick to a couple of days either side of the 5th November, then I could just keep them in for those days. They'd be equally upset at being kept in for several weeks!

FippertyGibbett · 29/10/2020 17:52

I’d ban them if I could.
They scare my dog half to death. If it was just one night it would be ok but it’s been going on for a week here already and it won’t stop until the weekend after bonfire night.

Ohtherewearethen · 29/10/2020 17:52

I detest fireworks and would live for noisy ones to be banned completely. Quiet ones would be slightly better. What I hate about them the most is that there is no 'opt out' - everyone has to hear them. They have hit so much louder over the years. All the people, pets and wild animals that have no choice but to suffer through the ridiculous noise, it's not on.
@GrumpyHoonMain - how the fuck is this a 'racist thread'? Get over yourself. Since when have people who celebrate Diwali been a distinct race of people? Good grief.

Ohtherewearethen · 29/10/2020 17:54

OP, you can find videos of fireworks on YouTube - you could try playing them on the tele to try to desensitise your son and cat for a few days before hand? We do this with our dogs, putting in on quite loud.

LostFrog · 29/10/2020 17:54

I remember being furious on New Year’s Eve when ds1 was 3 days old that people could be so selfish as to let off fireworks - didn’t they know I had a BABY?? We lived in a predominantly Asian area of a city so we also got fireworks at Eid.

To be honest though, before and after babies have always loved bonfire night. It was a much bigger deal when I was a kid than Halloween and I still love traditional bonfire night food, sparklers and making a guy. Cat was never remotely bothered by the noise but perhaps I was just lucky with that.

mangoicecream · 29/10/2020 17:54

I also HATE fireworks. They trigger me ptsd (a fun fact I found out last year) and I'm hardly the only one who is effected by them. If it was just one night a year or only sold to organised events I could cope but listening to them for two weeks at random times is awful

BabyLlamaZen · 29/10/2020 17:57

I get you! I have a baby this year and really not looking forward to it.

There definitely needs to be more restrictions on fireworks.

OrtamLeevz · 29/10/2020 17:58

With the exception of sparklers I think the sale of fireworks to private individuals should be banned altogether, as they are in NI.

Properly organised displays run by people with licences would be the way to go.

catwithflowers · 29/10/2020 17:59

Our dog is terrified of them, bless her. The cats don't really bother. Fortunately we are now living in a pretty rural location and about a couple of miles from the nearest display. Most of the locals are older than us so no kids setting off fireworks.

We can occasionally hear them in the distance which still causes poor dog great distress but I do appreciate loads of people love them. 🙈.

Nandocushion · 29/10/2020 18:00

Sympathies, OP, I am in US and every year from around Jun 15 to close to August we have the same thing every weekend and many weeknights. In fact it was worse this year as many people decided to let off fireworks to thank the frontline workers! We have a basement where our cats hide - if you don't have one, maybe clear out a closet or a cupboard under the stairs and put a box or basket in where your cat can spend the evening tucked away. No suggestions for your 2yo, but in a few years he'll love it probably, so just grit your teeth until then.

stillsomewhatsheldonesque · 29/10/2020 18:01

Yanbu

I am with @mangoicecream Sad

It is already a struggle.

BluebellsGreenbells · 29/10/2020 18:03

Buy a firework sound track and increase the volume until they aren’t bothered.

No all cats dogs and kids are scared

TibetanTerrier · 29/10/2020 18:05

@Bubbletrouble43

I agree with you op. In my opinion fireworks are a perfect demonstration of the selfish nature of humans.
And their stupidity. A friend is a senior nurse in A&E, and he says they dread this time of year because of the horrific injuries suffered by people at home fireworks parties. A surgeon was on TV saying that the injuries they have to deal with every year are as bad as those suffered by soldiers in war. Even sparklers can cause dreadful injuries apparently. Already this year my friend has treated two kids who've had fingers blown off and a woman who lost an eye.
TheyreComingToGetYouBarbara · 29/10/2020 18:09

Oh so you mean you have something against the Diwali related fireworks going on right now. Ah I knew this would be a racist thread.

Hmm

It's not racist to not enjoy multiple nights of fireworks, whatever they're celebrating.

lydia7986 · 29/10/2020 18:18

Maybe a ban on fireworks other than on November 5th? I.e. not all fucking week long

No, they should be allowed at least on 5th Nov plus the two weekends either side - not everybody can celebrate mid-week.

And it’s only about 10 days a year. It’s part of our culture - Guy Fawkes Night is pretty much the only uniquely British holiday. It’s infinitely superior to Halloween.

EternalOptimist7 · 29/10/2020 18:26

I used to love fireworks but since having my rabbits, I feel completely different. We have to bring the bunnies inside & it seems to get earlier every year. Rabbits can die from fright so I always worry that the fireworks will start before we can get them in.

museumum · 29/10/2020 18:27

There’s an episode of Bing that would probably help your toddler - or just show him fireworks on YouTube.

We live in a city that has them every night in August (twice on Saturdays) and we can hear an army firing range from our house so the humans and most animals round here are quite desensitised.