Light-hearted- DH food shopping

[Aroundtheworldin80moves]

DH did the food shopping today. He forgot several important items. He declares the shopping list wasn't specific enough. I asked him before he went if anything needed clarifying.

Items forgotten...
Sliced Cheese (I had listed sandwich fillings)
Breakfast items... Only bought stuff he liked
Crisps for the BBQ (BBQ food was listed... He likes to chose)
Bread rolls... He's bought a total of 12 for 6 people.

I also forgot to list another item, so accept responsibility.

So... Whose fault is the shopping fail... Me for not listing every item individually, or him for being thoughtless.

(We do have a lot of meat.)

(Plus the pumpkins... If he couldn't get 3 little ones, why not 1 big one for all 3 to share?)

This is meant as light-hearted. He's usually very competent, and regularly does the food shopping.

Unfortunately he is. But after lockdown, DH got SO EXCITED about actually going in to a shop he spent about £300 in Tesco in absolute crap. He paraded me up and down his treasure, showing off his goodies. There was stuff like a new vase, a home baseball set. All sorts of rubbish. It was quite impressive.

Btw, you might wanna get your hard hat on cos the “your husband is a useless man child” lot will be on soon.

If the list is that unspecific then I would say he’s fulfilled the list requirements.

Crisps are absolutely not an essential bbq food.

If you specifically wanted sliced cheese why didn't you write that?! Relying on mind-reading rarely ends well. Bit of a crap list.

The sliced cheese is for his lunches. The crisps are also for him.

So I didn't list specifically his foods, so he forgot to buy them.

what's wrong with 12 bread rolls for 6 people??

You can’t just write “sandwich fillings” and expect someone to buy sliced cheese.
How many rolls do 6 people need??
BBQ food does not equal crisps.
Re cereals - one of the good things about doing the food shopping is that you can buy the things you like.
Sorry, yes I think YABU regarding practically every item.
If you want specific stuff, you have to write that specific stuff on the list.

I'm with your DH, sorry. If I saw 'BBQ' food on a list, I would be thinking, sausages, burgers, chicken, salad - not crisps! Crisps are a waste of tummy space at a BBQ with lots of meaty deliciousness.

'Sandwich fillings' is also too vague to suggest sliced cheese.

Bread rolls - always better to have too many than too few IMO.

How many bread rolls do 6 people need?

Why does sandwich fillings automatically include sliced cheese? Can’t you slice your own cheese?

I wouldn’t get crisps for a bbq

I think it’s his “privilege” to be able to choose the cereals if he’s the one doing the shopping. Even I let The Husband choose one cereal or one yogurt flavor if he’s doing the shopping.

12 rolls for 6 people sounds about right.

I think YABU. How is he supposed to know how many rolls you want? How is he supposed to know that "sandwich fillings" means sliced cheese? If you put "breakfast items" and he bought breakfast items then what's the problem?
Honestly, you try living with my DH who I asked to stop into a shop on the way home and buy one item. He spent two hours in there and spent over £100 - and didn't get the thing I asked for.

Missing the point of this thread but where are you that’s nice enough for a bbq and can I come? Sick of the rain. I’ll bring crisps

Mostly YABU. He should have remembered what you like for breakfast if it's something you eat all the time. But even then if you want Rice Krispie, say Rice Krispies. People aren't psychic, people change tastes.

Looks like he's in the right. My list was too vague.

That's 12 rolls (no other bread) for the BBQ, bacon sandwiches in the morning (before he takes the kids canoeing, so need a decent breakfast), and the packed lunch tomorrow.

Next time the list will be ultra specific.

I think its maybe slightly leaning toward you being at fault...but not entirely

It's all a bit open to interpretation and I think he fulfilled the brief.

But breakfast items - when you say only what he likes...as in stuff only HE likes, or ONLY stuff he likes. If he's only bought stuff HE likes then yanbu to expect he turn up with other breakfast goodies. Whereas if he's ONLY bought up stuff he likes that's unfortunately buyer's bonus....

Also if bbq food means crisps for you...then not unreasonable to expect crisps...but maybe could have worded as stuff for bbq - snacky bits.

@Sunshine1235

Missing the point of this thread but where are you that’s nice enough for a bbq and can I come? Sick of the rain. I’ll bring crisps

We have an awning over the BBQ... It's used all year round. The children are camping out as well... After 15 years I still find DdHs BBQ obsession a bit crazy!

Unless something is specifically requested on the list you can’t complain if it’s not there.

If you write a vague list for someone else to take then you won’t get everything the way you want it

Sliced Cheese (I had listed sandwich fillings)

There’s no way I’d have known you meant sliced cheese. He’d have to be a mind reader not to ‘forget’ something with instructions this vague.

Breakfast items... Only bought stuff he liked

That doesn’t surprise me. He chose breakfast stuff he thought would be good. If you wanted something specific, you should have listed it.

Crisps for the BBQ (BBQ food was listed... He likes to chose)

Presumably he got bbq food. If wouldn’t have occurred to me this meant crisps.

Bread rolls... He's bought a total of 12 for 6 people.

That’s 2 each. How much were you planning to eat?

Next time, write a precise list and stop expecting him to read your mind. A shopping list shouldn’t require clarification before someone can actually take it to the shops. You’ll get what you actually want and there’ll be no problem.

Personally I’d have been annoyed if DH had given me a list like that. He’d have phoned me from the supermarket to complain that it was a guessing game rather than a shopping list.

I sent DS1 in to do the shopping during lockdown whilst I waited in the car. I got a lot of texts asking for clarification! I learnt that a list provided for another person has to be exact and they don't have the same thought process as you do. They also aren't necessarily able to second guess what you would do if something isn't as you described on the list.

However, he is perfectly capable of doing his own shopping to his own requirements!

That's 12 rolls (no other bread) for the BBQ, bacon sandwiches in the morning (before he takes the kids canoeing, so need a decent breakfast), and the packed lunch tomorrow

So why didn’t you tell him this?

It’s not so much your list wasn’t specific or he’s living up to the “men are crap at wifework” trope, but I’d have done the same.

If someone sends me to the shop with a list I will stick to the list. Better to tell me what and why, say you need bread for all that stuff, otherwise 12 seems loads. Say you need food for the bbq, meat, salad, crisps, whatever.

He likely can use his own brain, but with no context around a vague list it’s almost impossible.

I menu plan and do the shopping list based on that week's menu and what else we're running low on, then dp does the shopping because he drives and I don't.

There's no way that I would write a list as vague as yours and expect dp to come back with exactly what we need.

Sorry but if I was the person doing the shopping but someone else had done the inventory check/list then I would want it to be a lot more specific than "breakfast items".

We have an awning over the BBQ... It's used all year round. The children are camping out as well... After 15 years I still find DdHs BBQ obsession a bit crazy!

Then he should know the drill. He should know what ingredients and quantities then shouldn't he?

He'll have to go back out.

To be fair he should have surely been able to calculate how many rolls to buy?!

YABU for sending him shopping. I leave mine at home and do it myself as he’ll come back with stuff we don’t need and blow the food budget on crap. I’ve barred dh from coming shopping with me too. He stays at home with dds and out of my way.

Sliced Cheese (I had listed sandwich fillings)

Sandwich fillings to me is Egg Mayo Tuna Mayo chicken & swetcorn in those little pots. Cheese in the Enko household has a very specific section with specific types as if you don't write " brie/cammenbert/cheddar" you can trust ANY member of our family of 6 to return with about 203 different cheeses as they " looked good"

Breakfast items... Only bought stuff he liked

Is he aware the others do not like what he likes? Dh would do similar so I do specify. If anyone wants something specific then they add it to the list. So if I want Croissaints I add that If I put Bfast items we take pot luck on who ever shops.

Crisps for the BBQ (BBQ food was listed... He likes to chose)

so was crisps listed or just BBQ? if the first then obviously he messed up if just BBQ food I think he can be forgiven.

Bread rolls... He's bought a total of 12 for 6 people.

Depends on what they were intended to? just the BBQ? then He is fine if more then HIBU

but overall Id say you needed a more specific list if you wanted more specific types.

However, this does remind me of the thread on here where the DH bought one hundred rolls for a BBQ as his partner had put loo roll.