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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To ask if my vagina will ever go back to how it was?

75 replies

DianaMaggie · 28/10/2020 08:51

3 weeks pp- second degree labial tear - everything still feels sore/heavy/draggy and ‘open’ dr says all normal, give it time but also diagnosed slight bladder prolapse.
Started reading up about them and now scared myself that I’m forever going to pee myself and sex will never be the same again!

OP posts:

Summerfreeze · 28/10/2020 08:53

Sorry but no it won’t. It will get better than it is now though.

Princessposie · 28/10/2020 08:57

So many of my friends have had injuries through giving birth, it’s really unfair that so many women are left with long term issues.

jemjem07 · 28/10/2020 08:57

I had same degree you describe . Felt very open stretched like it was hanging all sore terrible . But I only remember it being like that 6-8 weeks I bled for long time. It's ok now it's back to normal tbh I'm 18 months pp but all ok from a few months don't worry it will get better

borntohula · 28/10/2020 09:03

Feels pretty normal to me now, although I haven't given birth for nearly 8 years now. Lots of orgasms seemed to help. Maybe not at 3 weeks pp of course.

TiredMamof2 · 28/10/2020 09:07

I had a second degree tear after a 9lb+ baby and forceps and can honestly say it’s gone back to as it was before in terms of size. Appearance wise there’s a small scar but not very noticeable. Sex feels no different than it did before.

VioletSunset · 28/10/2020 09:09

I've had four vaginal births and now I need surgery to correct the damage that's been done. No way mine will ever be as it was unfortunately!

honeylulu · 28/10/2020 09:12

3 weeks pp is still very early days and you've got a lot of healing time to go. It will get better than it is now, but probably not completely as you were before.

I had a 3rd degree tear with my first and was still very swollen in the first few weeks and the site of the stitches felt very lumpy. The first time I had sex after 3.5 months was quite uncomfortable. It did go down a lot and over the weeks/ months afterwards seemed to tighten up again, even though I was a bit lazy with my kegels.

The tear scar was always a bit lumpy until I had my next baby. I tore in the same place and that Midwife did a much neater job with the stitches so it's better than after the first time!

Bladder prolapse may need some medical management - make sure you push for it. Urinary leakage may be common but we don't have to accept it as "normal" when there are solutions to improve (and hopefully often) eradicate it.

picklemewalnuts · 28/10/2020 09:13

It does get a much much better though!

I was horrified at the sight of mine, wish I'd never looked! But the majority of it went back.

Not to pre birth standard, but much more 'normal' looking. Less like a gaping chasm.

NiceTwin · 28/10/2020 09:14

No, it will be forever different.

TableFlowerss · 28/10/2020 09:21

Well I’ve had two kids and torn quite badly the second time, can’t remember if it was 2/3rd degree but it wasn’t superficial and I needed to be stitched up.

I never wanted to look as i would pass out but it was tender for ages afterwards (months) and I could feel with my finger when I was showering etc where the tender bit was.

I remember patting the area with the sponge as I couldn’t bare the thought of getting the shower puff and giving myself a good old wash line I did pre kids.

Anyway, I’m happy to say I’m now with a new partner and the sex is brilliant. I can’t feel the difference from sex pre kids god knows whether it looks the same but my DH wanted to marry me all the same and he’s seen it more that me

Hope you start feeling better soon OP. At the time it feels like it will be tender etc forever

YonderTweek · 28/10/2020 09:23

I had a second degree tear too after having a baby with a huge head () and I had a lot of stitches. I was super sore and swollen for weeks/months after delivery and was left with quite a noticeable scar. However, after a couple of months it all kind of settled and I was amazed how well it bounced back - I did think my vagina would be ruined forever. The scar made things feel a bit tight sex wise for a bit, but it wasn't a problem and when it was fully healed it was all ok.

I didn't have a bladder prolapse so can't comment on that, but even now three years on I do sometimes feel like I might leak if I'm on a trampoline or if I sneeze etc so childbirth has affected me in that sense too. I'm really lazy with kegels though so it might be that. I hope yours recovers swiftly!

Wannabegreenfingers · 28/10/2020 09:26

Another that was the never the same. It still works, I only wet myself if I bounce so avoid trampolines. Sex is still good, but I'm definitely bigger than I was before.

VenusClapTrap · 28/10/2020 09:31

Nope, never the same again. Not bad enough to do anything about though.

Worldwide2 · 28/10/2020 09:34

I had a second degree tear with my second baby, took over an hour to stitch up in theatre. Plus I have bit of a prolapse too.
It took over 12 weeks to feel some what normal. Baby is nearly 8 months and sex isn't uncomfortable anymore, also looks alot like it did before. 3 weeks is so early, give it time.

jacks11 · 28/10/2020 09:37

I think 3 weeks post-partum is a bit early to say if things will get better or not, unfortunately. The wound will still be healing, if nothing else.

You may well find that things start to feel more “normal” after a few months. The bladder prolapse/urinary incontinence may need further attention- often in milder cases pelvic floor exercises are the solution and solve the problem completely if done regularly and kept up. If you are having problems doing them or you feel it’s not working you can ask your GP for a referral to women’s/pelvic floor physiotherapist as sometimes women need some help to be more targeted/do them properly.

Heatherjayne1972 · 28/10/2020 09:38

Pelvic floor exercises are your friend here

wherestheotherone · 28/10/2020 09:40

3rd degree tears twice and it's 7 years since last one.

I'm back to normal and was after 3ish months. A bit of wee if I have a coughing fit or go on a trampoline but I've not been good at keeping up my exercises.

3 weeks is very very early days, you will still be bruised and healing.

If after a 3 months your still worried go and see your GP.

ChristmasStocckings · 28/10/2020 09:45

I had a episiotomy and forceps delivery about 12 weeks ago after a large baby. I had the same sore/heavy/dragging feeling and a few incidents when I wet myself after sneezing but it’s getting better. I’m just trying to not stress about it yet and understand recovery will take time. 3 weeks isn’t a long time yet

Ivy455 · 28/10/2020 09:45

I had an episiotomy/ventouse delivery and suffered a bladder prolapse too. I felt exactly as you described, very open and "draggy". I was examined by so many drs but they all said it looked normal and it was in my head. I think part of the reason it felt so open was because the side I was cut no longer had the same nerve function so it felt like I hadn't been stitched up properly even though I had.
Anyway my little girl is two now and things are a lot better. I'd say it took about seven months of daily pelvic floor exercises until the inside felt as muscular as it did before. The prolapse has mostly gotten better although I can't use tampons as there is still a bit of a lump. It's not the same as it was before but I can live with it. You have my sympathy cause I know it's not nice when you're fixating on it. Do your pelvic floor exercises every single day, they are so important. It probably won't ever go back to the way it was before but it will get better. If the prolapse doesn't improve with exercises your GP can refer you for further treatment.

Airyfairymarybeary · 28/10/2020 10:16

No but you get used to the ‘new normal’ 🤣

Likeariverthat · 28/10/2020 10:17

First of all, OP, step away from Dr Google! I understand how tempting it is to read everything you can find but it's not helping you at the moment.

I had a second degree tear but one that went very deep into the vaginal canal rather than across to the labia. It healed fine and although sex felt "tuggy" in certain positions the first few times it quickly settled down.

Make sure you are keeping the area as clean and dry as you can. Do you have a doughnut cushion to sit on?

Finally, a woman's health physiotherapist would probably be really knowledgeable about bladder prolapse. Don't panic, there are lots of things that can be done to improve things but first and foremost your body just needs time to heal x

Seaswims · 28/10/2020 10:45

Oh OP, I really feel for you. I had a couple of 2nd degree tears after a natural 11lb delivery (still makes me wince now) It was so rough for the first 3 weeks, labia like testicles, wee stung like a mother trucker but a few months after everything felt pretty much normal again and dare I say it 'tight'. No wizard sleeve or hotdog down a hallway here, so there is hope!

Gunpowder · 28/10/2020 10:55

Mine’s gone back!

Had a second degree tear with DD1 which felt and looked brutal! Then my twins (DC 3&4) left me with a draggy feeling so think they wrecked my pelvic floor a bit.

Three weeks pp is very early days, I wouldn’t even think about it till six weeks pp as until then everything will be swollen. Following that I think it took about six months for it to look normal.
The draggy feeling post twins was helped by weekly Pilates. It didn’t go completely until I stopped breastfeeding.

Original poster

DianaMaggie · 28/10/2020 12:54

Some of you (not all) are giving me hope!
I’ve downloaded the nhs Squeezy app but I’m not 100% that I’m doing it right and I’m scared of making things worse!
I think I’ll see how things are at my 8 week postnatal checks and if no improvements I’ll ask to be referred to a physio.

OP posts:

Jenasaurus · 28/10/2020 12:59

I had a forceps delivery, as I had massive baby over 10 pounds and had to have a large episiotomy. I was worried about the same thing, but it did heal well, I cant say if its gone back to normal in looks (dont look to be honest) but it didnt take long to recover and I went on to have a 3rd baby less than 2 years after, so it returned to normal.

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