To ask if my vagina will ever go back to how it was?

[DianaMaggie]

3 weeks pp- second degree labial tear - everything still feels sore/heavy/draggy and ‘open’ dr says all normal, give it time but also diagnosed slight bladder prolapse.
Started reading up about them and now scared myself that I’m forever going to pee myself and sex will never be the same again!

It won’t be the same as it was pre-birth but it will get a hell of a lot better than it is at 3 weeks PP. It certainly doesn’t mean that you’ll be peeing yourself forever or that sex will never be the same.

I had similar injuries to you, although a third degree tear. Now at 15 months PP I feel normal. It isn’t the same, but it’s ok. The prolapse is there, but I don’t wee myself and sex is fine.

One thing I would say - and I don’t know if this is comforting or not - is that my recovery took much longer than I thought, but I carried on recovering over a very long period. Things got much better at 6 weeks, then better still at 12 weeks, then much much better at 6 months, and much better at 10 months when my period returned. I’m now 15 months PP and my physio says I’ve recovered really well, and I can expect to see a further improvement when I stop BFing.

3rd degree tear & 2nd degree tear few years apart. Healed great after both, although not instantly! I'm a religious pelvic floor-er though. I choose an inescapable daily activity that I will do my pelvic floor during /after so I never forget. Start now, even if it doesn't feel like you're doing much. You will soon feel the muscles strengthen. It cured the piles too. I actually think I'm better than pre birth because I only remembered sporadically then.

Mine looked like raw mince after the birth with loads and loads of stitches and quite honestly bits where there should not be bits.
It looked perfectly normal a couple of years after just a bit bigger than it was before.

I had a minor tear with my first which was stitched. I bled for about 8 weeks post partum, and it was very sore for about 5 or 6 weeks, had to use a warm jug of water when peeing etc. It felt very 'draggy' and 'heavy' and open for months, I must admit I was lazy about doing the pelvic floor exercises.
With my second child I also tore in the same place again, but as I laboured on my hands and knees and she was very quick, I also tore from the back to the front and straight through my clitoris. I just about fainted when I saw it a couple of days after the birth, I never knew it was possible. The midwife had never seen it either had to phone the hospital. Apparently it only happens in 2% of tears. The thing was literally in two halves. I was told that they rarely do surgery to fix it as the surgery can be more damaging than the tear, so it was left alone. What happened was that the smaller 'half' eventually receded back into the main part. It looks normal now which I would never have believed, and it functions normally!
As far as the vagina itself, I don't think anyone who has squeezed a baby through their vagina is ever going to have a vagina like someone who has not, but it can go back to a good approximation of what it was. I think, like a balloon that has been blown up and then deflated, it will never look 'normal' again so to speak, but you will get used to the new normal. Try to be more diligent than I was in doing your pelvic floor exercises.
You are very early in the healing process. Give it at least a few months. Good luck!

Mine was never the same after forceps and cut.

Was about 5 weeks bleeding and the whole time I felt like my womb was going to drop out of me. I actually wore maternity pads, a pair of mesh maternity pants and high rise pants for about 3 weeks post birth as it gave me a sense of things being held in.

I was 6 weeks pp when we had sex again and DP assured me it felt no different to him but I felt nothing... Feeling returned about 6 months pp.

Took about 6 months for the scar tenderness to calm down too.

I was about 4/5 months pp when I didn't feel the need to know where every loo was as my control/urgency came back.

I'm 3 years pp now and it doesn't look the same, has a scar and slight visual change, but there's nothing that causes me day to day problems. I do get a dragging feeling on my period however, along with achy legs.

Now pregnant with baby number 2 and my scar ached at the start, and I had the dragging feeling for the first few months but its all cleared up now (I'm 6 months)

Oh and another bit of advice - one thing that really helped my prolapse was doing dance aerobics. You will pee yourself quite a lot at first so wear a pad but the jumping and lunging means you have to clench your pelvic floor a lot without even realising. I know it's not easy fitting in workouts with a baby but if you could manage it even once a week once you feel able it will help (I recommend Deanne Berry's Pump It Up workout, it's free on YouTube). I agree with the person who said people should talk about this stuff more. I don't know anyone who's had a prolapse either and I felt very alone.

@DianaMaggie

Some of you (not all) are giving me hope! I’ve downloaded the nhs Squeezy app but I’m not 100% that I’m doing it right and I’m scared of making things worse! I think I’ll see how things are at my 8 week postnatal checks and if no improvements I’ll ask to be referred to a physio.

They're easy, OP. Imagine you're sitting in a bathtub full of eels and you want to stop them getting in to any orifices.

I'm also three weeks post partum with a second degree tear, but mine was perineal not labial. Mine's a little sore occasionally but generally I don't feel it any more. Gradually plucking up the courage to inspect the area. I'd agree that if it still feels bad by eight weeks you should ask for a referral for physio.

4th degree tear here. 9 years ago. Please don't read too much, people still like to scare others and for me it really didn't help.
Everyone heals differently.
Best thing is to take it easy, 3 weeks is nothing. Gentle walking and building up your bum muscles can help your pelvic floor to work better but I'm one of those who still didn't always get them right.
Stroll with the pram, not racing and build it up. Don't believe the hype of the jumped back to Pre baby. 9 months to change your body for giving birth about double to get to the best you can.

It should get a lot better of it’s own accord - 3 weeks is nowhere near enough time to expect it to be normal. If it’s still worrying you in 6 months ask to be referred by GP to obs/gynae.

It will definitely get better but don’t suffer in silence. Seek help if you need it! My scar still aches sometimes after more than 2 years and I’ve only just read that it might be due to low estrogen as I’m still breastfeeding. I thought it was something I’d have to live with forever but apparently not.

*Meant to say better but not the same. And actually not definitely. But stand by seeking support if it doesn’t!

As many other posters have said above me, it will get better but it will probably always be different to what it was pre baby....

I had a 3rd degree tear stitched in theatre and I'm now 18 months post partum and everything is 99% back to normal. TMI but the opening feels wider now but there's no lumps or bumps that weren't there before childbirth, and DH says he can't notice any difference. I was referred to physio as a matter of course due to the severity of the tear I had and honestly think this really helped.

Definitely ask for a referral to woman's health physio! Too many women suffer in silence

It will get a lot better. Not sure it can be expected to be exactly as it was before once you’ve squeezed a child out of it!

Proper Pelvic floor physio can make a massive difference. With biofeedback so you know what you are squeezing (it’s not necessarily the muscles you think). BUT 3 weeks is very early, and as swelling goes down there will be improvement. Don’t panic, it’s not broken forever!

I had two 2nd degree tears 7 years ago with my son, all back how it was now cnt remember how long it took to feel normal again, maybe a year

I really feel for you. Prolapse is VERY common but people don't talk about it out of shame. I felt so depressed and unattractive for a long long time after mine was diagnosed. But there is help available (although you may have to shout and make a fuss to get it) and if it is a mild prolapse, pelvic floor exercises done correctly can make a huge difference and make it so that you will hardly know it is there. Be really careful about not making it worse - don't get constipated as straining can really worsen it, as can exercise such as running or lifting heavy things. Definitely take it easy while you are healing, find some good advice on pelvic floor exercise, and read up or get advice on protecting your pelvic floor from further damage now there's a weakness.

As for the general vagina devastation... that will definitely improve. The swelling will go down, you'll heal and feel more comfortable again and things will get better. You won't look the same as you did but that's OK. Be kind to yourself and give it time.

I had a 2nd degree tear and episiotomy, absolutely back to normal now, even my scar has faded to simplify nothing, and I am very thankful the nurse stitching me up was as 'fussy about neatness' as she said she was when the surgeon walked past and commented on how tidy her stitching was (there is really no dignity in childbirth). Took longer than a few weeks though! I think I might've even still been bleeding at that point...

I was very lucky and didn't have a prolapse though so can't comment there.

All these people saying saggy flaps etc is guaranteed, it'll look like a car crash permanently etc. I genuinely haven't had that experience, I've only got one DC though, might be different if you've got half a dozen!

I do like a hundred kegels a day and have a pelvic toner. It fixed my mild prolapse and internally everything is as it was which I was a big surprise!

I did not tear though; well I had one tint tear with DC1 and none with the other two. Do those kegels.

I have to say though I've noticed no change externally? Didn't realise that was a thing but of course it must be with some tears.

OP things will be okay, and you have tour beautiful baby

It will be ok 3 kids later tore with every one stitched up felt like raw meat. Cannot sneeze or laugh without peeing a tiny bit and could have done much better with my pelvic floor exercises so would recommend that but sex is fine.

It'll never be completely the same.
Yet another thing I plan to warn my daughters about!

I don't think mine ever went completely back to normal (episiotomy and a tear) but it got a lot better. Keep doing your pelvic floor exercises.

I'm seven months pp and I don't notice any difference externally. Apparently it doesn't feel any different - for me it's actually a bit more sensitive (in a good way) if anything.

I had a very long labour and a heavyish baby so initially it was very numb and I couldn't tell when I needed to wee for a couple of weeks after. It actually took longer to be able to poo normally but that's fine too now. It felt quite draggy and heavy too for a few weeks. The first walk i went on after it was like my insides were falling out!

I had a bit of light tearing/grazing and some stitches but nothing major. Was never told whether it was to a certain degree or which area.

@madcatladyforever

Mine looked like raw mince after the birth with loads and loads of stitches and quite honestly bits where there should not be bits. It looked perfectly normal a couple of years after just a bit bigger than it was before.

Raw mince