Friend keeps taking photos all the time when we’re out!

[Watermelon999]

Ok, so I know this is not a first world problem, but it is irritating, and I wondered if anyone else does this and can shed any light on why!

If we are on a walk, or out anywhere in the past, my friend is frequently taking photos on her phone. Sometimes posed, sometimes I don’t have a clue they’re being taken.

Pretty much 100% unflattering, as they’re usually not the best angle, especially the ones I don’t know about! (Think double chins, not holding tummy in, close ups of face etc!).

The photos then all end up on Facebook. She will add a couple of flattering ones of her and then about 10+ of me at all angles. Sometimes eating a mouthful of food, or in the middle of speaking with my mouth open!

While it’s sometimes nice to have a record of a day, I would usually only post fairly flattering pictures of anyone! Also, i then spend the whole day stressing about whether I actually look like that!

I have dropped a few hints, saying I hope these aren’t going to end up on Facebook, or things like I think we should get on with walking and not stopping all the time, but to no avail!

Maybe I need to be more blunt, but otherwise I enjoy myself! Am I being over sensitive? Is anyone else like this? Can you shed any light as to why you do it?

[Poppingnostopping]

Tell her you don't want to be photographed.

If I'm out with friends, half the time I wouldn't take a photo anyway, if I hadn't seen them for years and I wanted a FB photo, I'd take one, check with them it was ok and ask if it was ok to post that one.

I also check with my children too, they are teens and don't want unflattering photos up, the odd flattering one once every month or two for the grandparents abroad is what they consent to and what we do!

[acerred]

And this is somebody who claims to be your friend? I'd be busy next time she wants to go out.

[billy1966]

She is very rude and disrespectful.

Clearly a very insecure person.

She is NOT your friend.

You really need to work on YOUR boundaries if you have difficulty in telling, not asking, someone to stop doing something so intrusive.

Work on YOUR boundaries OP.

You are very vulnerable if you don't.

[BoomBoomsCousin]

Just ask her to stop instead of hinting, fgs.

[PoorMansPaulaRadcliffe]

If you challenge her, I guarantee she will say: "Awwww; I thought you looked really nice . . . ". Dicks like this always do.
I used to work with girls younger than me. I woke up after a night out to find about forty frigging notifications on Facebook. One of them had obviously been up since the crack of dawn painstakingly uploading hundreds of fucking photos in which most of the subjects looked like Little Mix and I looked like Susan Boyle. I messaged her and told her to untag me and take them down. She did a load of 'hun-ing' of the 'but you looked rilly, rilly nice in some of them' variety. So then I messaged and told her to untag means take them down or I'd kick her in the crotch.
They know you don't look good. They know they do. They're bitches.

[Ihatemyseleffordoingthis]

"She is very rude and disrespectful.

Clearly a very insecure person.

She is NOT your friend."

Oh the melodrama. None of that is necessarily true.

OP just tell her in so many words that she isn't to post any more photos of you on FB. Plain, simple and direct.

[caringcarer]

Just tell her you don't want your photos on FB.

[oakleaffy]

I agree...Not on at all.

I came off Facebook, and muted some on Instagram because of endless pics of babies or DC several times a day.

The odd one is ok, but reams of them just get tedious.

As for people posting pics of you, completely unacceptable.

[StormyInTheNorth]

I find a comment on the offending photo, "Get this photo the fuck off facebook." often works. It usually kills two birds with one stone because with luck she'll block you too. No one tags me after I have done this a couple of times.

[Watermelon999]

Thanks for the posts, I have read them all and agree with you!

It seems I am not being oversensitive which is good! (I am so critical of myself on photos at the best of times, (as others are on here) I half thought I was being overly vain.

It seems I need to be less polite and more blunt and spell things out. We have another friend in our circle who is like this, and she makes it very clear that the friend takes too many photos, and that she wants to check any of her that are posted beforehand. She also keeps asking why she keeps taking them and posting them! I always back her up, but haven’t spelled it out clearly myself. It is not in my nature to be like this, but I like the bluntness trait in others as you know where you stand. I am more the type of person to put up with things then moan later, which is not good.

On numerous occasions I have said, “don’t take me that close” or “not at that angle “ or “I look minging as I’ve not done my hair/makeup “, but as posters have said...she always replies “no you always look lovely”!

For those who have stated that she may be insecure and be posting to look popular, I think you have hit the nail on the head. She is always putting herself down, saying she’s too fat (she’s about 8 stone wet through), she looks wrinkly, her hair looks bad etc. She has recently been quite stressed and I wondered if the photos may be part of her treatment for that, (Eg some sort of mindfulness) which is why I tolerate it more than the other friend does.

[Watermelon999]

@StormyInTheNorth

I find a comment on the offending photo, "Get this photo the fuck off facebook." often works. It usually kills two birds with one stone because with luck she'll block you too. No one tags me after I have done this a couple of times.

@StormyInTheNorth

This made me laugh so much. I would love so much to be able to do/say this sort of thing to people....

[Watermelon999]

@PoorMansPaulaRadcliffe

If you challenge her, I guarantee she will say: "Awwww; I thought you looked really nice . . . ". Dicks like this always do.
I used to work with girls younger than me. I woke up after a night out to find about forty frigging notifications on Facebook. One of them had obviously been up since the crack of dawn painstakingly uploading hundreds of fucking photos in which most of the subjects looked like Little Mix and I looked like Susan Boyle. I messaged her and told her to untag me and take them down. She did a load of 'hun-ing' of the 'but you looked rilly, rilly nice in some of them' variety. So then I messaged and told her to untag means take them down or I'd kick her in the crotch.
They know you don't look good. They know they do. They're bitches.

@PoorMansPaulaRadcliffe

Your analogy is spot on and sums up my situation perfectly too!!

🤣

[Watermelon999]

@LindaEllen

Yes I agree, I find it even worse when you’re in the middle of eating. And of course, there are never any of the person taking the photos, as no one else is that rude!

[justilou1]

She might be doing it to make herself feel better, but doing so at the expense of YOUR self-esteem (knowingly) is a trait of a narcissistic cow. Friends don’t push friends down to climb up and over.

[Angelina82]

It always amazes me how some people can’t speak truthfully to their friends. Just tell her to fucking stop it. 🤷🏻‍♀️

[BefuddledPerson]

@Angelina82

It always amazes me how some people can’t speak truthfully to their friends. Just tell her to fucking stop it. 🤷🏻‍♀️

Yes this!

Just send her a message saying 'I don't want any more photos taken of me when we are out, I really don't like it' and if she won't stop, stop seeing her.

OP you keep saying you 'can't' say things like that. You absolutely can if you choose to. It isn't 'blunt' to just say something clearly.

[SuzieQQQ]

Grab her phone and say no!!!

[BoomBoomsCousin]

On numerous occasions I have said, “don’t take me that close” or “not at that angle “ or “I look minging as I’ve not done my hair/makeup “, but as posters have said...she always replies “no you always look lovely”!

She may say that because those phrases could as easily be taken to mean you're fishing for compliments and want photos taken of you.

[metalkprettyoneday]

I don’t know anyone who would post a photo of someone online without asking - it’s rude and an invasion of privacy. Even if they get another child in a photo people by accident , people cover their face with an emoji or something .

[Shxx]

She's being a shady ass hole

[Snipples]

Definitely just be direct with her about pics.

We sort of have the opposite problem in our group as I'm quite into photography and have the best cameras etc - so when we go out I get lots of comments like "we're relying on you to take some decent photos of us all/ the restaurant/ the beach/ whatever" so I've said now to just do them quickly at the start of the day and then the camera is going away otherwise I feel like I can't just relax and enjoy it. And I always have to ask if someone will take a pic of me at the place or with my kid etc as no one ever does and we end up with beautiful shots of everyone else and none of me.

I never upload anything - I send the pics to the group and they each upload the ones they like and then I share the ones they've "approved" if that makes sense.

Your friend is being unkind and not listening to you, which is rude.

[justilou1]

Or, take photos of her looking drak every time and tag them

#sarahwontuntagorremoveuglyphotosofme