Friend keeps taking photos all the time when we’re out!

[Watermelon999]

Ok, so I know this is not a first world problem, but it is irritating, and I wondered if anyone else does this and can shed any light on why!

If we are on a walk, or out anywhere in the past, my friend is frequently taking photos on her phone. Sometimes posed, sometimes I don’t have a clue they’re being taken.

Pretty much 100% unflattering, as they’re usually not the best angle, especially the ones I don’t know about! (Think double chins, not holding tummy in, close ups of face etc!).

The photos then all end up on Facebook. She will add a couple of flattering ones of her and then about 10+ of me at all angles. Sometimes eating a mouthful of food, or in the middle of speaking with my mouth open!

While it’s sometimes nice to have a record of a day, I would usually only post fairly flattering pictures of anyone! Also, i then spend the whole day stressing about whether I actually look like that!

I have dropped a few hints, saying I hope these aren’t going to end up on Facebook, or things like I think we should get on with walking and not stopping all the time, but to no avail!

Maybe I need to be more blunt, but otherwise I enjoy myself! Am I being over sensitive? Is anyone else like this? Can you shed any light as to why you do it?

Tell her! Just say ‘stop taking pictures of me unless I agree to be in them’

If she doesn’t stop then tell her you’ll stop going out. This sounds way more dramatic than I normally write but this would honestly be a deal breaker for me! I massively value my privacy and don’t on social media.

Also bit nobbish to be posting the lovely unflattering ones of you eh?

She’s not your friend.

Tell her to stop.

@Vello you’re so right.

I’ve had this on the last couple of times being out with friends for a meal. Toilet selfies-boak. Pictures of food-boak.

I said I’ll be in the pic but don’t post it of me and they’re like ‘but whhhhyyy we’re having a great night’

Well just enjoy it then! Stop taking pictures every five minutes. It’s actually really rude and instead of enjoying the moment they’re just picturing their next montage of ‘look at my perfect day’.

I hate it ☹️

I find this really irritating. Someone in DH's family does this, and also posts pictures of my kids without asking (once on their public business page), then goes in a massive sulk when we ask them to take them down.

I do like to take nice photos if we're doing something special, but not loads, and they don't go on social media!

What a cow, I wouldn't be going anywhere ever again with her if all she wants to do is post shitty photos of you on fb

Tell her straight that you don't want to have your photo taken and you certainly don't want them to be put on Facebook. If that doesn't work, either give her a taste of her own medicine and take and post unflattering photos of her or stop spending time with her. I imagine this behaviour is calculated to undermine you and make herself feel better about her own appearance.

You can change your Facebook settings so that any 'tag' of you has to be approved by you.

That would do my nut in.

My SIL kept tagging me in random crap, not unflattering photos, but just absolute piffle and it was getting to be a daily occurrence, I dropped hints but she didn't take them, I had to be direct with her in the end, and ask her not to do it, I also managed to tweak my settings so that she couldn't tag me in anything.

I think its very telling that she always makes sure she looks good and you don't, I would never put an unflattering photo of a friend on FB and normally ask their permission before anyone does, full stop.

@Redwolf1

You need to be blunt. "Please dont post any photos of me on facebook" no exceptions then the boundary cant be pushed

This.

@scoobydoo1971 has it right I think, she's very insecure and needs the likes etc, and doesn't mind throwing you under the bus in order to make herself look better.

I had a friend like this except she was obsessed with editing pics before they went online and she'd do it to all of us. The day after a night out I'd wakeup to all these tag notifications and pics of me with Hollywood's brightest smile etc and it was just creepy and offensive

It's pretty sad really, because she's missing out and not really being "present" in your company and whatever you're doing by going so overboard with the photos, so I guess in a way, you have to pity her.

[quote Mmsnet101]@scoobydoo1971 has it right I think, she's very insecure and needs the likes etc, and doesn't mind throwing you under the bus in order to make herself look better.

I had a friend like this except she was obsessed with editing pics before they went online and she'd do it to all of us. The day after a night out I'd wakeup to all these tag notifications and pics of me with Hollywood's brightest smile etc and it was just creepy and offensive[/quote]
My friend has started doing this on her photos, and it's sooo obvious, just looks ridiculous

omg one of my friends is exactly the same! has to broadcast everything on social media. in her case, I'm sorry to say, it's because she doesnt have a lot going on in her real world. I feel really mean saying that because she is a lovely girl but shes always felt the need to compare and show off her "life" on social media.

as an example of how far she takes it, if her profile picture doesnt get a certain amount of likes she will take it off. she also rotates her old profile pictures often so they appear at the top of peoples homepage to gain more likes.

it's really annoying but I think my friend does it because shes actually quite insecure. it's a shame. I have had to tell her to stop taking pictures of me and my daughter constantly because I find it hard to relax otherwise. I think you will have to be really honest and tell her you dont like it.

"Maybe I need to be more blunt, but otherwise I enjoy myself! Am I being over sensitive? Is anyone else like this? Can you shed any light as to why you do it?"

Well since she's not picking up on the hints, yes of course you need to be more blunt. And no, you are not being oversensitive, she is being - well, she's not being a friend, is she? Putting up unflattering pictures of you, some of which you are unaware she has taken. Nice! And then putting up flattering pictures of herself. So nice!

Tell her to stop. Tell her you have noticed that she chooses to put up unflattering photographs of you but not of herself, and that this is not the actions of a friend. Tell her that IF she were your friend she would never do that, and that you are tired of being the butt of her joke. Tell her that she is to remove the existing photos of you from her self-absorbed Facebook page, and that she may not post any pictures of you without your express permission. And round it off with the very clear statement that if she fails to do so, she can find another person to be her prop on her walks because you are tired of being treated as some sort of subhuman accessory to her pretended life.

Seriously, she's being a total arsewipe and treating you pretty badly here.

I think you need to address both the taking off the photos and the posting of them. Even if she was only taking pics without you in them I think it would still be annoying.

Take her phone off her and put it in your pocket and she can have it back after the walk.

She isn’t a friend. Tell her to stop doing this and if she doesn’t just drop her.

The usual thing with too-many-photo-taking friends is that they post it on sm because they want their feed to look good.

What's weird here is, if the photos are as bad as you say, they aren't making her feed look good. No one is going to think what a cool life she has or hire her as an influencer with a bunch of bad pics.

I would be blunt and just if she gets her phone out say "no pics today thanks".

Tell her to stop. My two adult children and my son-in-law are all anti-Facebook, taken down their accounts, and so not allow photos of themselves to be posted there.
It's in credibly rude. Tell her bluntly to stop. She'll say you're being rude but what she's doing is far worse.

Be blunt, tell her not to take photos of you.

@Ferrari458

I don't think I'd be particularly subtle "Would you STOP taking all those fucking photos of me please? And if you do I'm telling you now - don't put any on social media."

This. We women have to stop being "nice". It's taken advantage of left right and centre.

I would be very strong with her. She canNOT post pictures of you without your say so. End of discussion. I’ve got cross with my sister for doing this before and now she will run pics past me first. They will be on the internet forever. A couple of friends have posted pics of me I didn’t like and I simply removed the tag so that it’s not linked to my page. Potential Jobs look on social media before hiring, you need to police what is posted of yourself and if it’s not flattering or kind then that is not on.

hahaha yes you need to tell her! I'm planning how to tell a friend who 'uses' her phone too much when we meet, picking it up whenever conversation doesn't directly involve her, shoving it in your face to show u clips of someone dancing from 3 years ago, memes etc. so your situation 1000 worse!

Show her this thread, make her read all the comments.