Losing my grip

[Royalbloo]

Omg need a hand-hold. Single Mum to a nearly 4 yr old, working full time and trying to complete my Masters (only one module left of 7 and then a 6 month project)

I'm falling to pieces. Any words of wisdom for working and studying and being a Mum. I know I could defer but I'm so close now I don't want to (and I won't if I can help it). It's there mental load I can't deal with - with no one to care for you and trying to do everything and see my DM who is still isolating and doing errands for her.

Really struggling with no holidays etc to look forward to, knackered as I spent the whole weekend studying and I don't think that's helped but I needed to.

I know people have far worse pressures at the moment what with losing jobs, being evicted and awful relationships but please - at this point any positive comment might help.

Thank you x

Maybe I'm losing my mind... can anyone see this? Feel like having a massive cry and giving up, overwhelmed, which isn't like me at all...

Please don’t give it! Frankly I think you’re bloody Wonder Woman to juggle being a mum with a full time job and studying for your masters.

Not sure if it’s helpful to you but I find when I’m feeling overwhelmed it helps to think how I’ll feel in 6 months time when whatever is stressing me is a distant memory. Think what a sense of achievement you’ll feel when you’ve completed your masters. The end is in reaching distance, you can do it!

That should say “don’t give up!” Silly phone!

Thank you so much - I can't give up, I've come so far from a DV marriage and lockdown and you're right, I know it will feel like a distant memory but I'm stressing sooooo hard right now.

Thank you again - I really just need a talking to but can't moan to my Mum who has been in lockdown since March and no one else cares. (I've tried explaining to the nearly 4yr old and she just gives me chocolate buttons!)

Much appreciated x

Just really want a loving relationship where someone takes the kids out and brings you a cuppa but that's never what I had so...

Wow, you sound incredible OP

I don't think I am but work offered to pay for my masters and I couldn't turn that down. Never even been to Uni so it's a HUGE mountain to climb

Wow OP, you are definitely wonder woman. I struggled as a single parent doing a third of what you're juggling.
Keep going, the sense of achievement will be massive when you finish.
But in the meantime have a hot bath with a glass of wine and a book, relax, even just one night a week. You are fantastic 💐

Don't knock the buttons.

That proves you're doing a fantastic job.

It’s not really comparable but I remember losing half my dissertation due to my computer crashing 2 days before deadline and can still remember that crushing, overwhelming feeling where getting to the end felt near enough impossible. But it’s amazing the strength you can find when needed, and having already overcome a DV marriage I have absolutely no doubt you can do this.

My DM is also in the shielding category and I know she would absolutely want to know if I were struggling. In fact I had a blip of my own the other week and got a telling off for not telling her. So please don’t feel you can’t confide in her if you need someone to share the load with. Just because she’s been in lockdown since March doesn’t mean you’re not allowed to have struggles of your own, it’s all relative.

Oh and your DD is very wise, everyone knows choccy buttons cure most problems x

You lot are lovely - thank you to you all. I just wish I had friends like you guys in real life (I do have some but they are far away). Thank you xxx

Pointy - she does care but she can't help and when I have a problem it seems to consume her which I really don't want x

Dawninglory bath and wine is a VERY good shout x

That IS a lot on your plate, and you have every right to feel stressed!! I know when you're in the maelstrom like this it doesn't seem that there's enough time for anything you currently have to do, much less anything else, but now more than ever is when you need to just take a few minutes, a couple of times a day, sit down, centre yourself and just breathe. And I know how it can feel that you don't have the time, but sometimes just pausing and taking five minutes to plan a little bit ahead - what you're both going to wear, or eat, for the next three days, for example - can save you spending useless or redundant energy down the road. But really - you've done SIX of the 7 modules, well done you, you are really over the hump! You'll get the last one done, and then you'll be into the project, which will be a different kind of demand on your time, probably no less intense, but you can tell yourself you've handled the rest and you'll handle it too!
Remember, too, that your DD is of an age where she doesn't need endless variety, she'll find comfort in routine and predictability, which is also easier for you to plan.
You may look back one day and think "how in the ever-living hell did I DO that??" - I know I do now, looking back at my full-time studies with two small children and a largely absent husband - but the point is, you WILL survive it, and it WILL be worth it.
So here are some and some virtual chocolate buttons (no emoji)! You're doing an amazing job! Keep your eyes on the prize.

Ah that’s tough, I can understand your reluctance to mention it.

I can completely relate to being far away from friends as we’re about to move 3 hours away from everyone we know. Just know you’re not alone in this x

BistroCafe you should be a life coach!

I ALWAYS feel like whatever I'm doing, I should be doing something else. Spend the weekend studying / nope you should be sorting the garden. Go out and have fun with friends / nope you should be studying. Sorting out the garden / nope you should be going out and having fun.

It's exhausting!!!!

Thanks Pointy x it's tough as my best friend is 2.5hrs away and as much as I want to see her, I could get so much done in that time...

I think you're amazing. Keep going, you'll be so proud of yourself when it's all finished.

OP, don't be afraid to let your tutor or the course leader know if you need more time for modules. It may be you don't want to delay them and just get them done, but if that can't happen for any reason, then let them know. We are giving a lot of extensions (even just a week) or deferring work due to corona/other stresses at the moment, so don't see it as defeat if you have to ask, they very much want you to complete the course so raise your hand if you need help/to extend deadlines.

Thank you dresseswithpockets that is EXACTLY what I need to hear right now ❤️

Plus, I do love a dress. With pockets.

Poppingnostopping I will but we have a study weekend next weekend (with a nearly 4yr old lol) so I will work out if I need it then I think. I could panic and defer but it might not be needed if I can get my head around everything by then.

I honestly think it's my mental state which needs attention and I CAN do it but I just think I can't...does that make any sense?!!!!

Just bloody stressed out!!!

So, this time next year, you'll be all clear of all your studies and have a Masters? We'll also hopefully be clear of all the Covid shite, and you'll be enjoying a fulfilling job, with (hopefully) more money for you to enjoy doing things with your DC.

There are some decent fellas out there too, but you're proving you don't need one, even though it would be good to have someone who can see you as the fabulous woman you are.

Keep on plodding on, my DH is having shite at work and I just keep on counting the months to him till things will change. We're now down to weeks. It will pass.

Hence my post!