To say I am so tired I worry I am putting my baby in danger with sleeping.

[plplz]

What happens when a mum reached breaking point? My baby is splitting her nights and has done for over a month. I was so tired the other night that I fell asleep while feeding her; and woke up with her asleep in my arms.

I was so afraid. I literally had no control over it I was so so tired. I think I am at breaking point.

No clue what to do. No one will help me with DD.

I had twins and we found co sleeping the easiest thing. Look at how to do it safely and crack on.

Co sleep or feed lying down on the sitting room floor on blanket.

I co slept and fed lying down until my son was 2 years old! When baby started crawling and rolling I moved my matress onto the ground. This really helped me to relax. If you fall asleep while feeding it's not a problem then. In fact it's a good thing! You will be ok but your DH does need to help. He can at least take your dd on a walk in the buggy while you nap in the day.

Be kind to yourself. I fell asleep and drove into carpark wall while parking due to being so tired but DC had to go to doctors that day

I co slept too when things got really bad. If you look at the co-sleeping guidelines it gives good advice. Other people may say you are creating a rod for your own back, but all of mine have gone back to their own bed at some point and it saved my sanity.

Also try playing white noise off your phone. There's a clip on you tube of white noise womb sounds and it used to really help my baby back to sleep.

I did that so many times - it's exhausting. Just want you to know that it happens to all of us

Let her sleep with you and help herself to the breast when she wants to. As long as neither you nor your partner have had alcohol or drugs you will not smother her. Sleep whenever you can. It will pass, though it may not feel like it now. My DS was the same, wide awake for three hours every night - his sisters slept at night, he just... didn't. Until he was about 13 months old. I breast fed until 12 months, then as he got more active by day, and was eating more solid food at structured mealtimes, he started to sleep through the night.. It was miserable and I wish it had been different, but that's just the way it was, and eventually it got better. Hang in there OP.

Ugh I remember this too! I would fall asleep with her in my arms and wake up with a pounding heart covered in cold sweat convinced I dropped her. At the worst point I was also hallucinating and kept seeing her face in the shadows of the walls and curtains.

As many PPs have mentioned, I survived by breastfeeding in the side lying position which is basically forming a C shape around the baby. It's virtually impossible to roll onto the baby in this position since your arms and legs "block" your body. Keep all duvets and pillows well away from the baby. I simply dressed warmly in a tracksuit and slept uncovered with a very small flat pillow for my head. I had a really vivid dream at one point, completely forgetting that I ever had a baby, and tried turning over. The only thing that happened was that my other arm dropped onto her head and she squeaked which woke me up immediately. There have been studies showing that breastfeeding mothers and babies have a bond that make co-sleeping much safer than we have been led to believe.

At 5 months your DD might still be in the 4 month sleep regression which is horrific. The "night splitting" is the worst. If she's wide awake and wants to play, is there a chance you could put her inside a crib with nothing except a few safe toys and nap on the floor? I did this as a last resort around 6-12 months. I fastened a bunch of stuffed toys, musical things, teething toys etc around her crib and had a mattress on the floor next to it. There were times I was so exhausted I couldn't function so I would plonk her in the crib and fall asleep on the floor. Oddly enough she was able to play longer by herself knowing I was there so didn't start whining like she would if I left the room.

OP lots of good advice here

Cosleep and breast feed lying down
Set up bed and bedding so it is as safe
Nap in the day without fail (I still do this and DS2 is 20 mths)
Send husband out with baby in buggy or sling during day so you can have some time alone

I’ve just had flashbacks to when DS would split and I used to bring him downstairs, put Gilmore Girls on, make like a cosy nest type chair bed thing ok the floor for him with blankets and then just lie on the sofa and doze to GG.

This is disgraceful,aside from the fact its half his child and should be helping anyway...you are really struggling.
Shame on him for not supporting you and his child.
What happens when you communicate this to him,does he just fob you off?
I'm so sorry. This time will pass eventually but you cant carry on like this

Definitely get set up for safe co-sleeping.

Formula is unlikely to help, unfortunately it’s a myth that FF babies sleep better. If BF works then stick with that for now, as it’s less work for you if DH won’t help.

Finally, consider if you can trust your DH ever again if he leaves you to struggle like this when you most need him. If not, then you need to get your ducks in a row for the probable end of the relationship, at some point.

I co-slept (no duvet/pillows-safe space) and fed lying down. I also slept when she slept in the day, any moment I could.
It will pass and you are doing great.

My DS used to do this.

Is your baby happy when awake? What does he want?

Mine just wanted to be awake but would be put in his bouncy chair and be distracted by the TV whilst I passed out on the sofa.

Your DH should obviously do more but you know that so I won’t labour the point.

And I second the formula not helping - mine was FF from 3 days. He didn’t sleep through reliably until he was over 3.

Second DS who is 2 is currently singing Baby Shark whilst banging my leg with his foot.

Nap in the day without fail (I still do this and DS2 is 20 mths)

I took a day’s leave last week and napped most of the day whilst toddler was at CM - utterly necessary.

Don't sit in a comfortable position when feeding. I was in your shoes a week ago. Now I'm making sure I put her in the next to me and put my hand on her tummy while she grumbles to sleep. If I've covered all the bases- feeding, wind (this most of all causes the grumbling), nappy, then I don't feel bad about this. I was falling asleep propped up on six pillows with her on her tummy across my tummy, her legs crouched on the bed if that makes sense. Duvet nowhere near us, not likely to roll on her as had csection and couldn't roll if I wanted to. But still, scary when you're that tired.