To say I am so tired I worry I am putting my baby in danger with sleeping.

[plplz]

What happens when a mum reached breaking point? My baby is splitting her nights and has done for over a month. I was so tired the other night that I fell asleep while feeding her; and woke up with her asleep in my arms.

I was so afraid. I literally had no control over it I was so so tired. I think I am at breaking point.

No clue what to do. No one will help me with DD.

Oh OP - I’ve been where you are

Firstly, how old is your baby and do you have a partner?

Are you breastfeeding? Can you feed her lying down? Takes some practice. Set your bed up for safe cosleeping; use a side-car crib so you both have space.

What do you mean she is splitting her nights?

How old is she? Does she nap at all?

YANBU at all!!! I have been where you are and I do not miss those days one bit. Be kind to yourself and if you have anyone you can ask for help then ask them.

As a pp said, set yourself up for safe co sleeping so you will have less of a worry about nodding off. I breastfed in my sleep maaaany times.

Mine breastfed does I shared the bed with her safely

It means you can snooze while baby feeds, she used to just latch on while I snoozed

Mine breastfed so* not really sure what happened with my typing there

I was like this in the early weeks with DD. I would sit up with her to feed and basically nod off sat upright, and it really scared me. We have co slept since. I just felt like it was safer when I'm so tired. DD naps on me in the day, so I can't sleep when she sleeps. Am trying to get her naps into a routine so we can co sleep for naps occasionally and I can get more sleep. I don't move when we co sleep, to the point that I have hip and leg pain from being so rigidly still! I have a blanket not a duvet and I put it between my knees, over my leg and tuck it in underneath me so it isn't near DD. If I manage to stay awake during her bedtime feed etc I will slide her across into her snuz pod afterwards, but the option to co sleep is always there, and I'm so tired from the daytime that we tend to co sleep mostly.

I had to co sleep and it has helped so much. Now I'm asleep while he feeds; its great!

Look up the guidelines for safe co sleeping and do that for a while; even if you don't want to co sleep long term it sounds as if you need to do it at the moment to get some rest and stay safe.

Cosleep/bedsharing.
Done safely (look up safe sleep 7) the risks are very low. Drastically lower than falling asleep with her in your arms.

My midwives were very pro bedsharing because statistically most mum's will fall asleep with their baby at some point and doing it on a chair or sofa is incredibly dangerous

I would Not worry about moving a sleeping baby if they fall asleep on you. Put her in a Moses basket and get 10 mins sleep yourself. Otherwise get deliveries or Ask a friend to help. If someone asked me to help I would.

Thanks for the response, I am absolutely struggling.

DD is 5 months old, and still breast fed and is a total bottle refusnik. When I say she splits her nights she wakes up and stays awake for three hours in the middle of night. It's killing me!

Cosleep and feed lying down.

Can you co sleep? Sanity saver for me. You can find the safe sleep guidelines online

Oh man, the 3 hour parties in the middle of the night. I remember those.
I discovered DS was ok if my hand was in the cot. I spent 3 hrs every night dozing on his floor with my wrist wedged through the bars of the cot, with every spare blanket and duvet in the house as my "bed".
It WILL end.

Do you live with her father? I used to basically spend my weekends feeding or sleeping. DH got ignored!

I do live with DH but he is generally useless when it comes to DD.

Look in to safely cosleeping (the safe 7 as a previous poster mentioned). It's been a lifesaver for me. Falling asleep sitting up with a baby is dangerous and terrifying but it happens.

As she is breastfeeding, laying down to feed while following the safe cosleeping guidelines could really help.

Please read the best practise for co-sleeping. While you'll get some people tell you it's dangerous it's considerably safer than falling asleep on a sofa or the likes.

Advice on split nights here
www.babysleepscience.com/single-post/2014/09/09/the-split-night-why-some-babies-are-awake-for-hours-in-the-middle-of-the-night-and-how

I remember those days with my breast fed baby - It is really hard.

I used to sit up in bed feeding him whilst my husband would sit up and watch me to make sure I didn’t drop the baby.

It’s really, really shit - I used to spend most of my days nearly in tears because I just couldn’t cope.

I remember one day that I walked the streets for hours trying to get him to nap and when it failed I went back home and broke down. I rang my husband at work and between the sobs I just couldn’t cope anymore - he had to come home because I was so upset.

I was just exhausted every day and it felt never ending. It was really, really difficult and you have my total empathy.

I think I started co-sleeping when he was 4 months old. It happened by accident as we were away for the night and the B&B didn’t have a suitable cot so he ended up in bed with me - when I woke up I realised I’d had the best nights sleep for a long time. He’d been so snug next to me, latching himself on when he wanted it that he’d been so much more settled overnight. I always stirred when he latched in but then I would close my eyes again and fall back to sleep.

I co-slept with him from 4 months to 9 months and it was the only way I could get some proper sleep.

When I had my second baby I think I co-slept with him from about 5 weeks of age because I knew I couldn’t let myself get into the same state I had been in with my first.

Don't beat yourself up! I did the same in the early days more than once!!

As others have said feed laying down...it's a game changer! Put boob in mouth and both fall asleep!

I remember those nights. I was so tired I didn't dare hold DS. I put his cot next to the sofa and put him in it, then fell asleep on the sofa with my hand through the bars of the cot whilst he was full on screaming...

Then you have a husband problem. Your husband needs to take on the three hour awake slots so you get some sleep and be in charge in the morning and evening.

I’m another who thinks you should have a look into safe cosleeping. BF is one of the factors that makes it safer so take advantage of that. At this point it’s about whatever works rather than battling to try and make your baby and routine fit arbitrary norms.

I got myself a fleecy tracksuit top (without any cord bits, vest top and a thin fleecy blanket to cosleep in and actually felt like I got some decent rest. I would consider that at five months this may be the beginning of proper teething and consider trying neurofen before bed.

My dd was an awful teether and there was a clear period after she got her last tooth when her sleep improved massively. You do what you need to and ultimately you and the baby benefit.