To say I am so tired I worry I am putting my baby in danger with sleeping.

[plplz]

What happens when a mum reached breaking point? My baby is splitting her nights and has done for over a month. I was so tired the other night that I fell asleep while feeding her; and woke up with her asleep in my arms.

I was so afraid. I literally had no control over it I was so so tired. I think I am at breaking point.

No clue what to do. No one will help me with DD.

Ds was like this and I ended up cosleeping until 11 months - I could sleep and feed at the same time. At 11 months he started sleeping through so I then worked on transitioning him gradually to a cot in his room.

Give your DH a kick up the arse though!! At the very least he should be ensuring you get uninterrupted nap time when he’s home.

When shes awake in the night is she crying? If not you could lay her in crib next to you with a little toy so you can nod back off, I did this x

@plplz

I do live with DH but he is generally useless when it comes to DD.

Why are you letting him be?!

That sounds like such hard work. My advice would be sleep when the baby sleeps. For the next few days/weeks whatever it takes wear comfy clothes and cosleep for naps. Definitely learn to feed lying down. When she is awake during the night feed her in the dark with the light off and don’t talk to her. My DD went through a phase of this when she was older and in the end I used to give up and go to sleep. DH said as soon as I feel asleep DD did you.

You need to give your DH a kick up the arse. He need to take your baby during the night for a bit while you sleep and/or take her during the day so you can catch up.

Agree your husband needs a colossal kick up the arse. How dare he leave everything to you?! Disgraceful.

With my insomniac second child we followed the guidelines for safe co-sleeping and it absolutely saved my sanity. Good luck

Spend the days learning to feed lying down and co sleep. Follow safe sleep by having no pillows or blankets near the baby. It does take some practice but for me was absolutely the only way and saved my sanity.

Just feeding my 11 month old back so sleep now. Hang in there, it’ll get better.

DS has always been a shit sleeper and has phases of being hell ish.

You’ll make it to the other side!

Your husband needs to step up. How can he let his supposed nearest and dearest suffer like this? I hope you aren't cooking, cleaning and doing his laundry for him while your baby is so demanding.
Get him to stop being so useless and to pull his finger out.

I did Sunday night to Thursday night. DH did Friday and Saturday night.
It just got me through. He needs to help you. I hope he steps up.
Are you ignoring housework etc and sleeping during the day. Start doing that and sleep in the day when baby sleeps.

Feminist1010 why are you putting the blame back on OP? It should be, why is he allowing himself to be so useless! He should know better.

As other people have said, try cosleeping and feeding lying down. I coslept with DS until he was nearly 3 as he was a terrible sleeper.

Also, he’d wake up in the middle of the night for a long time so I used to get up and play for an hour or so and then he’d fall asleep again. Seemed to get him back to sleep much quicker than any other approach.

I hope he settles soon.

Ohhh I remember falling asleep too with DS in my arms!

Do you think your DD would be ready to be weened anytime soon OP? She may sleep better being fuller.

@Ijumpedtheshark exactly the same here, I found that by waking up properly and playing with her to tire her out it shortened the awake times. Obviously wouldn't work for everyone but I was more exhausted and emotional trying to settle her for 3 hours solid than I was being up properly for an hour!

I would definitely be co-sleeping if you are having issues staying awake whilst feeding, I remember in the very early days I feel asleep whilst bottle feeding DD.

Not sure about a split sleeper, but is she nosey when she’s awake during these hours? I would be tempted to leave her in the cot next to you and sleep instead of being awake with her

@joanwinifred

Feminist1010 why are you putting the blame back on OP? It should be, why is he allowing himself to be so useless! He should know better.

I’m not. But he clearly isn’t capable of realising himself.

@Goldencurtain

Then you have a husband problem. Your husband needs to take on the three hour awake slots so you get some sleep and be in charge in the morning and evening.

This. It is his DD and his wife is suffering he cannot be useless.

Co sleep, feed lying down, don't turn the lights on or say much to her. Good luck it's really bloody hard when they wake up and stay up for hours!

Just seen you have a husband?! Tell him to sort his shit out and start supporting you!

Definitely learn to feed lying down in bed. I put a couple of mattresses on the floor in the babies room and rolled onto her one to feed and when she fell back to sleep I eased back onto mine so that the duvet didn't cover her. As we were on mattresses and the room was otherwise safe if she did wander as she got older it meant I could still keep the room dark and quiet and know she was safe even if she was crawling about. I didn't always sleep deeply but it was far easier than sitting up and feeding.

I learned this on baby number three, I should add. It made life so much easier.

Just ignore her. She’s fed and safe and warm. You’re entitled to sleep.
She’ll cry, but she’ll quickly learn to sleep.

Hi OP

There is a risk to your baby but its absolutely tiny when you're breastfeeding.

My baby didnt wake up for a long time in he night but she woke up at least every hour and I became so anxious I couldn't get to sleep between her wakings.

I knew I'd fall asleep so tried to make it as safe as possible. I slept in a fleece hoodie so I didnt need a duvet. The baby was in a sleeping bag. I had a mesh bed guard at the side of the bed. I fed the baby in a position on my side where I wouldnt roll over on her. My advice -

1. Make it as safe as you can, following the save sleeping guidelines.
2. Realise that doing the above, your baby will be absolutely fine. Most mammals, including most humans co-sleep. The chances of something bad happening from co-sleeping are very low
3. If you havent got a complete shit of a partner, get him to do the awake hours. Mine did when he was working if either of ours were up. If it's a couple of times a week it is possible to catch up on sleep by going to bed earlier or getting up later and not being affected...in any case most parents including men should expect to be more tired when they have a young baby even if they are not feeding them. Newborn should = knackered for any parent

I do live with DH but he is generally useless when it comes to DD.

What is the point of him then OP?

My DP was a useless pile of shit when DS was a baby. I quickly learned to breastfeed lying down, and sometimes he’d latch on when I was still asleep. The late night parties were a killer though.

What I did quite early on was get a camp bed (and later a single bed) for DS’ room and when it was really bad I just used to go to bed at the same time as him!

I distinctly remember having to promise myself I wouldn’t drive for a month or so because I was so tired I would hallucinate at the wheel. It doesn’t help, but you aren’t alone OP and I genuinely have a little shudder when I think back to those times. DS is 4 now though, goes to bed 8 and typically sleeps through till at least 6.45, if not 7.15/7.30. It will end.

Op a Co sleeper cot was what saved my sanity with with dd2.

Can you buy one it will be the best money you spend.
Your whole body relaxes as they sleep right next to you but safe in their own safe space?..
It's the best baby related thing we ever spent money on.

I'd get H involved.

I'd transition to formula.

Co sleep and feed laying down. Saved my sanity and we all got sleep even if if was broken. Nap when she naps, everytime, im still napping when he does at 18 months and he sleeps through now. Still constantly shattered