To ask what you think of this childhood incident?

[NorthGirl2]

When I was 13 I had a birthday get together at my house with a few friends. My dad brought my birthday cake out and it was a cake in the design of breasts. They sold these cakes at Tesco at the time.

I was mortified and my friends were also embarrassed. My dad thought it was hilarious.

I was talking with a colleague about embarrassing childhood moments and mentioned this story. She was shocked and said if that happened today there would be concerns.

I just wanted opinions on what others would think of this - my mum knew about the cake but didn't try to stop it

Wrong wrong wrong!
Wrong as a 13 yr old’s cake
Wrong for a father to get his daughter, regardless of her age.
Just wrong!

Gross. Inappropriate. Wtf was your dad thinking?

It points to a lack of healthy boundaries on his part - that's taking the incident at face value, because you don't mention any other abusive behaviours. Your mum lacked the assertiveness to point out that he shouldn't do it.

But if I was a betting woman I'd say there were other 'incidents' like this dotted throughout your teens, because a man who does this probably does other weird creepy shit as they have no idea about healthy boundaries. I am being charitable here.

Unless it was totally out of character and a one off?

Horrible. Insane that Tesco's would sell boob cakes too!

Inappropriate but could it be an immature sense of humour and trying to be a 'cool dad'?
Only you can say whether it was a once off ill-judged prank or part of a pattern of inappropriate behaviour.

Wow! Just shocking.
What was he thinking!!!
What was your mum thinking!

Very inappropriate. My friends Dad was a bit of a joker. He was always saying inappropriate things. It came out he was abusing her and her sister.

Very inappropriate! Poor you. I was 13 in the 80s where values were pretty different to today but even then it would have been considered inappropriate.

Yes completely inappropriate for children to have a boobs as a birthday cake. Makes me feels like I need a bath actualy

What?? That's really creepy and strange. For you as a 13 year old but also in front of friends.
Did he have form for being inappropriate in other ways too? Can you think of any other incidents like this growing up?

So, so wrong. He probably thought he was being 'hilarious' without giving any actual thought to you & ruining your birthday.

It would be inappropriate at any age but at 13 it’s disgusting.

Inappropriate and weird.

If it was a one-off weird moment, then I'd be prepared to over-look it as "momentary madness", but if there were other "odd" moments in your teen years, including things you didn't consider odd until you looked back at them years later...

Oh my OP. That’s sad, disturbed and disgusting.

It's very inappropriate for 13. Poor you.

If it was a cake bought from a shop I don't see why it's anything more than embarrassing

I just googled the cake cos I couldn’t imagine Tesco’s selling something like this seems so inappropriate and it actually brings up a mn thread where someone asks if it’s ok to get for her 8 year old son

My dad didn’t do this (because he would never have gone to a supermarket) but he used to make inappropriate jokes all the time. He still does, and I hate it.

No abuse, just a completely clueless man who had no filter and enjoyed making people uncomfortable. It has lost him friends over the years and unfortunately now he’s older he has a very I’m too old to change attitude - he doesn’t seem to understand or care that people don’t want to interact with people that make them uncomfortable or embarrassed.

I remember those cakes! I actually think one member of my family ended up having it as a birthday cake! If an isolated incident, then no I would say there would be concerns.

I googled the cake and this thread came up. A mum asking if it would be inappropriate to buy her child one.

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/other_subjects/36810-booby-birthday-cake-for-8yo

That is very wierd and creepy, OP.
What's your relationship with him like now? I'd want to bring it up with him if I were you and ask what he was thinking.

Oh god I actually remember these cakes I think!

What an awful thing to do to your 13 year old child!

Obviously inappropriate but I do know dads who would (misguidedly) think this was funny without sinister agenda.

What was your relationship like with your father and how do you think he would have thought you'd react to the cake?

I've seen those cakes...I've always assumed they're for stag parties or a bloke in his twenties...not a child's birthday, wtf...very inappropriate.

It's the kind of thing my XH would have done. This is one reason he is my XH.

As a private family joke, I see no harm in celebrating body and maturity. But in front of friends, no. My family like you family, had a few rude cakes and thankfully a few siblings a head of me so made sure to warn family I would be very displeased to get one. As for those who got one, kills us with laughter as hilarious