Friends new partner has moved in already - is it all going too fast?

[LouisesPleasingCheeses]

I have a really lovely friend, we have been very close since primary school and she is now a single mum with two gorgeous boys, living in her own house.

She is very kind and tends to always see the best in people...and often pretends she can't see the worst in them.(head in the sand kind of thing) Since her long term relationship with the boys father broke down she has had a few short and fairly disastrous relationships, all with a similar time line - introducing the boys very quickly to the new partner, holidays together and then new partner moving in with them all...all happening within the first few months.

Anyway - it's happening again and I don't know what to do or say, if anything. She met this guy in August and it all became very intense, very quickly. We have lots of other mutual friends and apparently he moved in with her a few weeks ago, as he is "between places" 🤔 He is doing school runs, driving her car and her garage & shed are full of all his things, plus his kids have all been staying there too, obviously introduced to her boys too.

I am so worried about her. Her last partner was violent and abusive and she vowed she wouldn't take the same risk again exposing her lovely boys to someone new (that she basically barely knows) so quickly...and yet, here she is again moving SO quickly. She hasn't even known him three months yet!

I know she has been terribly lonely and yearns to have a family unit again, but I really fear that her need/want for this to be "the one" is really clouding her judgment . And I'm worried about her boys and the effect on them...and I'm worried he is yet another abusive cocklodger chancing his arm and getting his feet under HER table.

Should I say something? She is very vulnerable and is being very evasive in our messaging about how involved she is - I only know most of this through our mutual friends, I think she knows, deep down, that this is too quick and can't bring herself to admit it.

It's breaking my heart, tbh. I so want her to have the happy life with someone she loves that I know she craves, but this all seems like she's repeating the same pattern again...and it ended so, so badly for her last time.

Should I say something or mind my own business?

I just couldn't have a woman like that in my life. So unfair on the children too. I am a single parent and dont agree with stepdads and blended families. In general. I expect some children are fine with it but not many. It is also great being single and have been this way for years too!

Storyoftonight

"Here we go again. In what world do people think it's acceptable to come on here and call people bad parents."

I'm going to call a spade a spade: a woman who moves a bloke in to a house which she lives in with her children within two months of meeting him, shortly after emerging from a violent relationship with another man, is a bad parent.

She may be a good person with a kind heart and she may be deserving of our sympathy. But she is a bad parent.

@DTIsOnlyForNow

Here we go again. In what world do people think it's acceptable to come on here and call people bad parents

In this world, when they are clearly and demonstrably bad parents. Which OP's friend is, if the situation is as laid out.

If you are a single parent and keep bring a sucession of unknown new "partners" into the lives and home of your children, when you don't even know them, you ARE a bad parent.
Frankly, if you don't see a problem, I'd be worrying about your epically low standards.

Thankfully I don't care about your opinion or your 'worries ' but there are vulnerable people who do. I'm not a single parent though , but I will be sure to ferry your great advice with me wherever I go.

A poster on here reached out to me the other night after a pile of dickheads called her w shit parent on a thread she commented on. Words hurt. These are real people.

@SuitedandBooted

In what world do people think it's acceptable to come on here and call people bad parents.

She is a bad parent. She puts her desire to be in a "relationship" above her children's safety and emotional well-being. Or do you think living with a procession of short-term boyfriends is good for kids?

There is a difference between an action and being a bad parent. You are judging a complete stranger on her parenting. OP asked for your thoughts on her concern for her friends , not for you lot to judge her parenting. See my above reply for the impact of this.