to not want to get dd from uni?

[Noideawottodo]

She's been isolating at her bfs house for 14 days. He and all his flatmates tested positive for covid. She developed symptoms, fever, cough, sore throat. Didn't get tested just assumed she had it. That was 10 days ago.

She wants to go back to her own house in a couple of days when she's done 14 days. But a flatmate in that house has just tested positive, if she goes there she will have to isolate again for 14 days.

She's really struggling. She's had a row with her boyf and can't bear to stay there for much longer. Her proper house mates didn't want her there as one is vulnerable.

Anyway she wants to come home. I don't want her home as I can't risk my other dcs getting it before they are due to go back to school in 10 days (they are having a 2 week half term). She says she'll self isolate in her bedroom, but i will have to collect her in the car and drive her home for 2 hours so if she still has it I will catch it?

I'm very confused and don't know what to do for the best.

[Noideawottodo]

100 percent sure she's had it

[PoorMansPaulaRadcliffe]

'And DS agrees with me . . . '

I'll just bet he does.

Your 'job' as a parent is never done, weirdo.

[MrsNotNice]

I find all the pp guilt tripping OP a bit OTT.


This is a fair dilemma. The OP has more than one child to consider and no need to question her parenting for being stuck in this dilemma.

[ChasingRainbows19]

She doesn’t need another test she’s feeling better now so it’s pointless. Just bring her home and maybe ask her to stay in her room for a couple of days until day 14 which isn’t long, technically she has done the standard ten days from symptoms. If she still tests positive on a test at home you will all have to isolate for 14 days.

She cant get on public transport that’s even worse than you bringing her home carefully in a car. Keep car windows open, wear masks in the car and wipe it down after. She keeps her belongings in her room for a short while then everything can be washed carefully. Bathroom wiped and aired too.

[Noideawottodo]

I find all the pp guilt tripping OP a bit OTT

Thanks! It's ok, its mumsnet! If I didn't have a vulnerable child i wouldn't hesitate

[Venicelover]

I would not hesitate OP. Go and get her.

[FippertyGibbett]

🙄

[SirVixofVixHall]

Ten cpdays post Covid infection, she could still be able to infect others.
The person I would worry about in this scenario OP is YOU. Your daughter is having a dismal time but she will be ok. You are at least in your forties I imagine, if you get Covid you could be far more unwell than any of your DC, and you have a daughter in year 13 who needs you. I have friends in their mid forties, previously v fit, with long Covid, and another slim, fit, healthy 50 year old woman who has been left with a heart condition. Women over 50 at higher risk for long Covid especially.
So that would be my concern, if you do get her then you need to keep yourself safe as top priority. We go into full lockdown tomorrow, so you would have to get her asap, and as pps said, mask up, windows open etc. Really she needs a test though, as being in a car is a risk even with masks.

[Aragog]

But based on those dates:

8 October - now been 14 days from their flatmate's results
12 October - 10 days since her own symptoms, so if she had tested positive that is when her SI period would begin.

So both dates have passed haven't they?


And didn't you you're not getting her til Saturday anyway? - if so then there's another 2 days after that as a bit of a buffer.

[Aragog]

Ten days post Covid infection, she could still be able to infect others.

But very unlikely, and how long do you leave it?

If you test positive for Covid you only need to isolate for 10 days from the onset of your symptoms, not even from the date of your test/test result.

You only need to isolate longer if you have a temperature. The cough can go on for much longer and you don't have to keep isolating for that.

[Mydogmylife]

Can't get over you don't want to be in the car with her, but think its ok to put her on public transport!!!! Also that you don't think she'll be even the tiniest bit upset that you appear to be putting a sibling over her - even if shes 18 she's unwell and probably just wants her mum who's flapping around like a headless chicken !

[Noideawottodo]

You are at least in your forties I imagine, if you get Covid you could be far more unwell than any of your DC, and you have a daughter in year 13 who needs you

I'm 54 and overweight 😐

[Aragog]

Really she needs a test though

She is out of the time period for having a test. You should only have a test within 8 days of symptoms starting. After that - too late.

[Noideawottodo]

Can't get over you don't want to be in the car with her, but think its ok to put her on public transport!!!!

Where did I say I thought it was ok to put her on public transport?

[Babyroobs]

I'd let her come home on the basis that she stays in her room so she isn't putting others at risk. My ds has just returned from a short trip to a country with high rates and has had to self isolate in his room for two weeks to protect vulnerable dh.

[Noideawottodo]

@Babyroobs

I'd let her come home on the basis that she stays in her room so she isn't putting others at risk. My ds has just returned from a short trip to a country with high rates and has had to self isolate in his room for two weeks to protect vulnerable dh.

This is what i am going to do.

[NK346f2849X127d8bca260]

Go and get her, my 19 year old ds had Covid and mixed with us from day 10 after his symptoms started, nobody else got sick although i think i may have had very mild symptoms four days after he became ill.
Sit her in car at back in opposite corner , get her to wear mask and keep a window open.

[CremeEggThief]

Good for all of you people who have nothing better to do than run around collecting adults here, there and everywhere.
I never had it done for me and wouldn't expect to do it for DS, but maybe that's because I grew up without a car too, so knew how to get myself all over the place and back home from an early age. In fact, I have often been pleased I have missed out on all the ferrying around other parents seem to do, since DS started going out at night. For example, he rang me at 17 in a state, 'cos he fell asleep drunk on the last bus of the night and didn't know where he was. Guess what? With just a little bit of guidance from me, he was able to walk back to the nearest town centre and get a taxi home. I bet some of you on here would have had to go into counselling for the trauma.🙄

I've been independent and not asked my parents for a thing since I turned 18 and I am proud that I have brought DS up exactly the same. Any of you who don't feel the same, you're really not doing yourselves or your children any favours.

[myhobbyisouting]

She can go back to her house though surely for the two weeks? Yes she'll have to isolate but it's not as if she's stranded or you're forcing her to stay in a hostile environment

[Noideawottodo]

I've been independent and not asked my parents for a thing since I turned 18 and I am proud that I have brought DS up exactly the same. Any of you who don't feel the same, you're really not doing yourselves or your children any favours

Huh? That's batshit.

[JoeCalFuckingZaghe]

I've been independent and not asked my parents for a thing since I turned 18 and I am proud that I have brought DS up exactly the same. Any of you who don't feel the same, you're really not doing yourselves or your children any favours.
I would have committed suicide without help from my parents. It's a real shame you've chosen to teach your children they can't turn to their parents for help just because they turned 18.

[Noideawottodo]

@myhobbyisouting

She can go back to her house though surely for the two weeks? Yes she'll have to isolate but it's not as if she's stranded or you're forcing her to stay in a hostile environment

Yes she could but she's feeling exhausted and wants to come home and recuperate.

She has texted me to say she'll let me know tomorrow! So maybe she's deciding to stay after all...

[CremeEggThief]

No it isn't batshit, it's common sense. Adults stand on their own two feet and don't go running to their parents for help.

[Aragog]

I'd let her come home on the basis that she stays in her room so she isn't putting others at risk.

For how much longer are you going to make her SI?
How long will you deem to be 'safe' enough?

Bearing in mind she's will have already done 16 days of SI since her friends tested positive and 12 days since the onset of her own (untested) symptoms by the tome you get her on Saturday?

[JamminDoughnuts]

does she actually want to come home?