to not want to get dd from uni?

[Noideawottodo]

She's been isolating at her bfs house for 14 days. He and all his flatmates tested positive for covid. She developed symptoms, fever, cough, sore throat. Didn't get tested just assumed she had it. That was 10 days ago.

She wants to go back to her own house in a couple of days when she's done 14 days. But a flatmate in that house has just tested positive, if she goes there she will have to isolate again for 14 days.

She's really struggling. She's had a row with her boyf and can't bear to stay there for much longer. Her proper house mates didn't want her there as one is vulnerable.

Anyway she wants to come home. I don't want her home as I can't risk my other dcs getting it before they are due to go back to school in 10 days (they are having a 2 week half term). She says she'll self isolate in her bedroom, but i will have to collect her in the car and drive her home for 2 hours so if she still has it I will catch it?

I'm very confused and don't know what to do for the best.

[DesdamonasHandkerchief]

There's no point in her getting a test, according to Track and Trace you can test positive for up to 6 weeks after you're had Covid, however she won't be infectious after the isolation period.Get in the car and go and get her.

[CremeEggThief]

Neither are you, @Thespottytortoise, if you believe in running around looking after young adults, when you already have more than enough to contend with, as the OP clearly has.

Once they're 18 and finished second level education , your main job as a parent is done. And if you don't think otherwise, well that's up to you, but I think you and anyone who carries on treating adult children as children, are wrong.

And DS agrees with me, so that's all I care about.

[Aragog]

If her symptoms started on 12th then, had she tested positive, she has finished her 10 days hasn't she? She is unlikely to be contagious now.

If she didn't have it, regardless of symptoms, she needed to SI for the 8th for 14 days, so she has now finished those 14 days anyway.

For how long will you have her not be allowed to come home, incase she's carrying Covid?

FWIW I would go and get my DD and bring her home. I wouldn't send her to her own house share and expect her to spend another 14 days SIing, or - if she didn't have covid last time - risk now catching it this time.

I currently have Covid . I've been pretty poorly with it. Even if I hadn't had it I would have got DD in these circumstances. TBH we'd have probably got her earlier if she'd been struggling - and just had her SI in her room at home til her SI days were up.


why was she seeing her boyfriend at his house in the first place

Established relationship exemption, perhaps??

[Noideawottodo]

@DesdamonasHandkerchief

There's no point in her getting a test, according to Track and Trace you can test positive for up to 6 weeks after you're had Covid, however she won't be infectious after the isolation period.Get in the car and go and get her.

I thought that might be the case. Thank you.

[MzHz]

[quote Thespottytortoise]@CremeEggThief

Wow, your not going to win any parenting of the year awards are you...[/quote]
No, quite, but can certainly book her place on the “oh why oh why won’t my kids have anything to do with me” threads on Gransnet

My mum would have been the same, but I went NC with her years ago, she’d have loved Covid to show me how unimportant I am.

[Nanny0gg]

@Noideawottodo

Even in the car? I suppose not fair to make her get public transport

In the car! Madks and open window

[MyWedding]

@CremeEggThief

"I can't drive, but if I could, not a fucking hope I'd be doing a 4 hour round trip for DS, for nearly any reason."

I can't imagine you would have that problem and your dc wanting to come to you with that attitude.

[Storyoftonight]

@Aragog

If her symptoms started on 12th then, had she tested positive, she has finished her 10 days hasn't she? She is unlikely to be contagious now.

If she didn't have it, regardless of symptoms, she needed to SI for the 8th for 14 days, so she has now finished those 14 days anyway.

For how long will you have her not be allowed to come home, incase she's carrying Covid?

FWIW I would go and get my DD and bring her home. I wouldn't send her to her own house share and expect her to spend another 14 days SIing, or - if she didn't have covid last time - risk now catching it this time.

I currently have Covid . I've been pretty poorly with it. Even if I hadn't had it I would have got DD in these circumstances. TBH we'd have probably got her earlier if she'd been struggling - and just had her SI in her room at home til her SI days were up.

why was she seeing her boyfriend at his house in the first place

Established relationship exemption, perhaps??

My understanding was that it only applies if you live alone which it appears they don't.

Don't get me wrong I think OP is outrageous here. But theres an undertone from both her and the hideous flatmates of 'shes made her bed '.

[MzHz]

It’s not always about how old people/kids are, it’s family and caring for people.

[FinallyFluid]

I sincerely hope that you didn't tell her you were vacillating, because if you did, she will remember that for the rest of her life, that you were prepared to put one child before another.

[Nanny0gg]

BTW. I thought you should sit next to each other. Sitting behind shes breathing forward towards you

[Sweettea1]

No she cannot get public transport and risk infecting many people. Pick her up in car keep windows open wear a mask she sits in bk of car behind passengers seat not behind you and as soon as you get home she's straight in bed room you then antibac the car.

[PoorMansPaulaRadcliffe]

Get your child.

[Noideawottodo]

@FinallyFluid

I sincerely hope that you didn't tell her you were vacillating, because if you did, she will remember that for the rest of her life, that you were prepared to put one child before another.

Oh dear. I don't think she'll take it that personally! She knows dd2 has severe asthma and it has to be a concern.

[Noideawottodo]

Don't get me wrong I think OP is outrageous here

Why?!

[Aragog]

Th main reason I wouldn't put her on public transport is that she is feeling run down and exhausted. As said, I have just had covid. I'm not passed my 10 days but I am still shattered and have achy limbs. My breathing is still somewhat laboured. I still have a lingering cough. Technically I can now go out and about and I wouldn't be putting people at risk - but no way am I up for a train journey on ym own right now I would be fine sitting in a car though.

She needs to isolate where she is until her symptoms are gone

Depends which symptoms, You don't have to continue isolating for a continued cough, for example.The cough can last for months. If you still have a temperature you should continue to isolate however.

[Aragog]

My understanding was that it only applies if you live alone which it appears they don't.

The established relationship rule was in addition to support bubbles, when you read it.

[actiongirl1978]

I got tonsillitis about the same time into first term at uni 24years ago. I went home to parents and sobbed on my mums shoulder. I will never forget the relief of getting home to my mum. She gave me a scarf to keep my neck warm and I still have it aged 42.

Why would you ever not collect a child who needs their mum and dad?

[Noideawottodo]

She's feeling totally fine - gets tired easily though.

[Noideawottodo]

@actiongirl1978

I got tonsillitis about the same time into first term at uni 24years ago. I went home to parents and sobbed on my mums shoulder. I will never forget the relief of getting home to my mum. She gave me a scarf to keep my neck warm and I still have it aged 42.

Why would you ever not collect a child who needs their mum and dad?

aw thats lovely (the scarf)

I suppose tonsillitis isn't as scary as potentially infecting someone vulnerable with covid.

[FippertyGibbett]

Go collect your poor child and bring her home.
I wouldn’t have to think twice about it !

[Noideawottodo]

@FippertyGibbett

Go collect your poor child and bring her home.
I wouldn’t have to think twice about it !

Well hopefully you don't have anyone vulnerable in your family!

[Aragog]

potentially infecting someone vulnerable with covid

Unlikely to be contagious now - she has completed 10 days since start of her own symptoms, as well as 14 days since her friend's positive result.

[Noideawottodo]

@Aragog

potentially infecting someone vulnerable with covid

Unlikely to be contagious now - she has completed 10 days since start of her own symptoms, as well as 14 days since her friend's positive result.

Yes this is what i assume , but because she didn't get tested once her symptoms started wr can't be 100 percent sure

[Coyoacan]

I too have a son in Year 13, so I know exactly how you feel, worrying about taking time off. Year 11 and Year 13 are definitely the most important school years

I can't drive, but if I could, not a fucking hope I'd be doing a 4 hour round trip for DS, for nearly any reason.

Some of the comments on this thread show just how much young adults are babied now and it infuriates me

So you obsessively care about your children until they turn eighteen and then fuck them?

I would collect her if she was friend and as my dd even more so