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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

is this normal??????????

64 replies

moljam · 14/10/2007 11:14

last night we had a babysitter (shes babysat before for us and is sort of friend of the family)i went out and dh was working.when i got in babysitter said she had to ask next door to stand outside and listen out for my children(she woke them up)while she went home to check her dog as there was fireworks going off and her dog gets scared.she lives about 5 minutes away so wouldnt have taken long but i just feel funny about it!ive apologised to next door and they were fine apart from being woken up as she said she is animal lover so understands.im an animal lover but think this is bit odd.what if next door didnt answer.aibu?

OP posts:

ComeOVeneer · 14/10/2007 15:23

I'm am surprised at your reaction tbh. I would have been furious. She basically left 3 children who where in her care with people she actually knows nothing about to go and check on her dog!!!??!!! Totally out of order.

LIZS · 14/10/2007 15:30

Sounds very odd. So you 'd have been paying her while she cared for her dog ahead of your children . Was it you with babysitter problems before ?

Original poster

moljam · 14/10/2007 15:47

ComeOVeneer- i am furious!i think bit in shock,maybe thats why im sounding calmer than i am!she wont be coming again.

lizs no not me-weve had problems with her cancelling at last minute etc because of dog which is annoying but fine,we just cancel.

OP posts:

nappyaddict · 14/10/2007 16:12

i think if she had known that the children knew your neighbour well and if they woke up wouldn't be scared cos it was someone they didn't know then it wouldn't be too unreasonable. but as your dc do not know the neighbour i think it was totally out of order.

she may not have known it was diwali to ask about bringing the dog beforehand.

lucyellensmum · 14/10/2007 16:20

i have fallen out with my mother, she is our only baby sitter for DD 25m, i dont/wouldn't trust anyone else, even close friends, my inlaws dont see dd enough for her to be comfortable with them, so thats our social life down the pan.

seeker · 14/10/2007 16:29

Why won't you trust your close friends to babysit?

nappyaddict · 14/10/2007 16:30

my friends babysit ds all the time.

do you or dp not have any brother/sisters/cousins who could help out?

Frizombie · 14/10/2007 16:34

I personally wouldn't have like that and she wouldn't be bbsitting for me again if she'd done that. Why can't you trust others to sit for you though?

minesalargeone · 14/10/2007 16:35

It's like someone has already said on here you'd have thought someone much younger, less responsible etc etc would've done something as stupid as to leave the kids to check on her dog and trust people she doesn't know to keep an ear out....but someone in their 50's???? With kids of her own and grandchildren. Blimey, I'm glad she's not my Mum/Gran.

lucyellensmum · 14/10/2007 16:36

because they are mad axe murderers

ITs not that i don't trust them, but they just don't know DD well enough so she may not be happy if she woke up to strange people, she is only 2 and we hardly have our friends around to our house and she is usually in bed when they come round. I am very particular about who i leave DD with, and right now, i dont have anyone who i would be happy to leave her with.

minesalargeone · 14/10/2007 16:37

where do you live lucyellensmum?

nappyaddict · 14/10/2007 16:37

oh right i thought if they were close friends your dd would know them quite well. but if not i can understand why you wouldn't leave her with them.

Frizombie · 14/10/2007 16:45

ah, ok then, do you have any other mums you could befriend and then get into a babysitting circle?

lucyellensmum · 14/10/2007 16:57

to be honest, im not too worried about social occasions, although it would be nice to have an evening with DP, we haven't done it in a while. I do go to M&T but don't know anyone well enough to let them look after DD. Its not forever, although i had to quit my part time job because my mum let me down over childcare (another story), anyway - i think the point i was trying to make, and im going to get flamed for this i know i am - is i cannot understand why you would leave your child with someone who you didnt know and trust 100%

Frizombie · 14/10/2007 17:04

Hmmm well I 100% trust the people I leave my kids with or I too wouldn't leave them, guess I was just lucky enough to build up relationships with mums via pre/post natal groups, whom we've been meeting with weekly for the last nearly 4 years now! and whom can be relied on to bbsit every now and again. Have you got any old friends you can trust?

minesalargeone · 14/10/2007 17:17

I do sympathise with you lucyellensmum...I rarely go out with my dh because I don't have anyone I would be happy to leave my kids with - yes I have my Mum but she lives a distance away and can't drive - yes I have friends but they have kids too and whilst they would be happy, I'm sure, to sit with my kids I don't like to ask because they have children themselves.

TBH it's far easier for us not to bother going out than it is to try and organise something. I know that sounds pretty awful but that's life!

lucyellensmum · 14/10/2007 17:18

friz. i was just wondering aloud why the OP had left her kids with a woman who had been unreliable in the past, cancelling at last minute etc. But i probably worded it badly.

I am not a very socialble person to be honest and i find it really hard to make friends, it takes me ages. I have some good friends but none of them have children, apart from one and she has looked after DD for me for emergencies but really isnt able to babysit as she has her own family to think of. Its not such a big deal i guess the shite with my mother will blow over but if it doesnt then i have more important worries re her heatlh etc than whether i can get a babysitter. Im making a hash of this, no matter how i type it it seems like im having a pop and im not - i guess im a social outcast

minesalargeone · 14/10/2007 17:22

I'm no party animal either! ...and boring as this may sound I'd rather spend the money I'd spend on a night out on my kids! We're all different!

lucyellensmum · 14/10/2007 19:42

that doesnt sound boring at all

minesalargeone · 14/10/2007 19:50

No but I'm sure they are plenty of people out there that think that does sound boring...very boring! I've been there and done that with nights out, clubs, pubs etc etc....now I enjoy settling my kids down to sleep, snuggling up to the fire with a good book with my dog at my feet and my husband in the kitchen doing the washing up and putting the kettle on!!! That's my idea of a nice peaceful evening....

lucyellensmum · 14/10/2007 19:53

sounds about perfect to me - and here is my thoughts on boringness, well not mine, but it is my favourite poem.

Being Boring

If you ask me 'What's new?', I have nothing to say
Except that the garden is growing.
I had a slight cold but it's better today.
I'm content with the way things are going.
Yes, he is the same as he usually is,
Still eating and sleeping and snoring.
I get on with my work. He gets on with his.
I know this is all very boring.

There was drama enough in my turbulent past:
Tears and passion-I've used up a tankful.
No news is good news, and long may it last,
If nothing much happens, I'm thankful.
A happier cabbage you never did see,
My vegetable spirits are soaring.
If you're after excitement, steer well clear of me.
I want to go on being boring.

I don't go to parties. Well, what are they for,
If you don't need to find a new lover?
You drink and you listen and drink a bit more
And you take the next day to recover.
Someone to stay home with was all my desire
And, now that I've found a safe mooring,
I've just one ambition in life: I aspire
To go on and on being boring.

minesalargeone · 14/10/2007 19:55

Oh how true that poem is.....just about sums me up - thank you!!!!!!

thirtysomething · 14/10/2007 20:03

very odd, I wouldn't be happy about that!

ChantillyLace · 14/10/2007 20:57

I would definitely not use her again! That's a frightening way for someone in charge of children to behave!

We havent been out for over 4 years but it doesn't bother me too much. Would be nice to have a break, havent had a break from dd3 since before she was born 4 years ago, but there'smore important things to spend the money on, like food!

Love that poem, thank you for posting that!

xXxspookyxXx · 14/10/2007 21:09

definatly wouldnt use her again!thats really strange

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