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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

is this normal??????????

64 replies

moljam · 14/10/2007 11:14

last night we had a babysitter (shes babysat before for us and is sort of friend of the family)i went out and dh was working.when i got in babysitter said she had to ask next door to stand outside and listen out for my children(she woke them up)while she went home to check her dog as there was fireworks going off and her dog gets scared.she lives about 5 minutes away so wouldnt have taken long but i just feel funny about it!ive apologised to next door and they were fine apart from being woken up as she said she is animal lover so understands.im an animal lover but think this is bit odd.what if next door didnt answer.aibu?

OP posts:
cornsilk · 14/10/2007 11:20

Good job your neighbours didn't mind. Sounds odd to me.

fawkeoff · 14/10/2007 11:24

she should have asked if she could bring her dog along to your house.it is a bit wierd but at least she asked someone instead of just leaving them

nappyaddict · 14/10/2007 11:29

do you know your neighbours well? so if one of the children had woken up they would have been ok to go in and settle them (i presume she left the door open)

i imagine had they not answered she wouldn't have gone incase you were worrying she might.

Paddlechick666 · 14/10/2007 11:34

she woke the kids up and the neighbours and asked them to stand outside and watch the kids while she checked on her dog?

no, that's not normal.

not a lot you can do about it now (apart from apologise to the neighbours, again!) but definately wouldn't be asking her to babysit again.

not that it's really relevant but where you paying her or was it a favour?

LoRayningNewtsAndFrogs · 14/10/2007 11:34

Hmm, I think it's weird, I'd feel a bit strange about it too, but like nappyaddict said, I presume she wouldnt have gone if they hadnt answered.

LoRayningNewtsAndFrogs · 14/10/2007 11:35

Paddlechick, I think she meant woke the neighbours up, but I cant be sure.

Original poster
moljam · 14/10/2007 11:35

fawkeoff i thought that-at least she didnt just leave them and also she told me.
nappyaddict we know then but dont get on with them!,she just said neighbour stood outside her front door.dc probably wouldnt have known who she was if theyd woken and from next doors doorway im not even sure she'd have heard them door open or not.i just dont know if im tired and over reacting or not!i dont have a dog so dont know if others would do this and think its ok?

OP posts:
Original poster
moljam · 14/10/2007 11:36

she didnt wake children,woke neighbours.sorry.

OP posts:
Pennies · 14/10/2007 11:37

totally abnormal and I'd be extremely fed up about it and would have told her so in no uncertain terms.

cadelaide · 14/10/2007 11:40

well, on a positive note, she did ask someone to listen out for them and, crucially, she told you when you got in. Agree her reason for leaving them is dubious, how old is she?

bubblepop · 14/10/2007 11:40

well i think its totally odd! she obviously thinks her dog is the most important thing in the world! is she quite young? i expect she does'nt have kids of her own. i would smooth things over with your neighbours and i would'nt bother using her again, she sounds a bit daft.

cadelaide · 14/10/2007 11:40

...and how old are your dcs?

Paddlechick666 · 14/10/2007 11:42

sorry, misunderstood that she'd woken the kids too.

still at waking the neighbours tho!

it's diwali isn't it and of course fireworks are on sale already so maybe she should've asked to bring the dog with her.

either way YANBU and if I were you, wouldn't have her babysit again.

Original poster
moljam · 14/10/2007 11:43

babysitter is in her 50's ,has grown up children and a granchild!
my dcs are 7,6 and 22 months.
i dont think i will be using her again.

OP posts:
Original poster
moljam · 14/10/2007 11:44

so glad that everyone else seems to think its bit odd.like i said glad she told me etc but still!

OP posts:
Flamesparrow · 14/10/2007 11:44

She was in charge of your children!!!

I normally find MNers overreact about lots of things, but this is all positively underreacting!!

edam · 14/10/2007 11:44

No, don't use her again - she's clearly unhinged where her dogs are concerned.

Original poster
moljam · 14/10/2007 11:46

it does seem her dog was more important than my children
and to whoever asked yes she was getting paid.

OP posts:
theresmoretolifethanmotherhood · 14/10/2007 11:48

shocking! I would never use her again and would tell her how appalling her actions were.

LazyLinePUMPKINJane · 14/10/2007 11:48

I would say that she probably told you because she knew the neighbours would otherwise.

When you first posted, I assumed that the babysitter was 17 or something, not 50!!!

I would not be pleased.

Kiddi · 14/10/2007 11:51

blimey heckers, what if you knew you lived next door to a wierdo! Did she try to contact you, did you have a mobile on you? or your DH? seems really odd but I suppose she may not have felt able to take the kids with her, but then I would not leve mine with anyone who I did not feel would be allowed to take mine with her in an EMERGENCY only. I guess you know in your heart of hearts that unless its a mediacal emergency she is now of the list of trusted friends!

Original poster
moljam · 14/10/2007 11:55

nope didnt try to contact us.dh had phone and was taxi driving so she knew she could phone taxi company.she didnt seem to think it was wrong.she just mentioned it as she was saying theyd been good etc.

OP posts:
Kiddi · 14/10/2007 14:27

Nutter. sorry first comment that popped into my head. Her not you!

DynamicNanny · 14/10/2007 15:10

You are definitley bit being unreasonable - that is out of order!! As a nursery nurse, I often babysit for families and there is not a cat in hells chance that I would leave the children albeit with the neighbour stood on their driveway - what was the neighbour going to do if there was a problem, would she have been able to hear etc, so that I could go home and see my dog.

Like other posts I assumed she must be 13/14 a young naieve babysitter but that is disgusting behaviour from a "responsible" adult.

Definitley don't use them again.

minesalargeone · 14/10/2007 15:17

Unbelievable that she felt assuring her dog was ok with fireworks going off was more important than staying with the children in her care.

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