Hungry kids and shitty views

[icequeen34]

I apologise as I'm sure there are already threads on this topic. But I feel so so sad and angry today, not only about Marcus Rashfords campaign to feed hungry kids over the holidays being rejected. But some of the horrible views and justifications being spouted - mainly the old 'lazy parents need to take responsibility for feeding their kids' remark. Some utter twat was saying poor families should grow their own food because 'it's not hard' and another Tory MP claimed the blame lies with absent parents (as if his leader isn't one of those).

These are terrible comments from privileged people who clearly don't understand the lack of time, money, outdoor space and education needed to grow your own or shop more savvy. But even in the cases of the worst most lazy parents, why can't people see that the children shouldn't be the ones to suffer? It really boils my blood especially when MPs get so much in terms of expenses for food.

Sorry for the rant I just feel very disappointed and upset today.

@ghostyslovesheets

maybe force poor women to have terminations - I mean we've already stopped paying benefits for more than 2 kids - lets make life even more shit for poor women

Rightly so!!

If you cannot afford to feed your children it is wrong to want to have more than 2 children it’s your responsibility as a parent. We live in an very entitled generation. When my nan raised her 3 kids under 5 she hardy had any money but I tell you something my nana’s children were clean, tidy and fed plenty! She was a single mother and didn’t receive all these benefits and schemes simply because they were not available back then.
So it makes you wonder what is the actual issue today?

Why lend money to a failed business? what happened to that money?

Firstly, I am not defending it. I am just putting the information right (it wasn't 26 billion lost on fraud).
Secondly. They weren't failed businesses then.

If you cannot afford to feed your children it is wrong to want to have more than 2 children it’s your responsibility as a parent. We live in an very entitled generation. When my nan raised her 3 kids under 5 she hardy had any money but I tell you something my nana’s children were clean, tidy and fed plenty! She was a single mother and didn’t receive all these benefits and schemes simply because they were not available back then

Doesn't help a 6yo today who isn't getting fed does it?

Where did she get money for food from then?

It’s appalling and this should be something that’s automatically addressed.

There are some petty and vile opinions on here. But the vast majority are compassionate and human and it’s what I needed to read tonight.

@SchrodingersImmigrant

Why lend money to a failed business? what happened to that money?

Firstly, I am not defending it. I am just putting the information right (it wasn't 26 billion lost on fraud).
Secondly. They weren't failed businesses then.

I still don't understand why due diligence wasn't done, its 22.5 billion that has gone, not a few million on ferries that don't exist.

So we have 3.5 billion furlough fraud and 22.5 billion claimed or lost to businesses & that we have no idea what happened to the monies loaned or if the businesses should have had themonies in the first place.

We are arguing about a few million to feed the most vulnerable in society but turn a blind eye to £26b in, at best, waste.

Exactly. Where’s the outrage at the money wasted and the fecklessness of the Tory government and their cronies?

@Marmitecrackers

I think food vouchers that make up meal plans are the best way forward for short term hunger. Vouchers with recipe cards and step by step how to cook. No one is going hungry, appropriate nutrition is being given & people are learning to cook.

Pasta bake, cottage pie, risotto, stews, fish and veg etc. Nothing exotic, caters to all tastes, simple to make, plenty of fruit veg and whole foods.

Vouchers could have a say £5 per week treat component to spend on whatever, biscuits squash, non necessities.

If children are still going hungry after that the problem was never money.

Often, the lack of money is a symptom of a wider issue like addiction, mental health issues, often, there are debts accrued previously that still need to be serviced. Often, there is simply too much month left at the end of the money for a variety of reasons.

Of course, some parents are utter shits but it's wrong to make others jump through more hoops, as a result.

CanwerollontheNY - you do realise that poster was being sarcastic about forced abortion right?

Parents circumstances can change, you can be financially sound when you conceived your dc then months, years later have everything turned on it's head - redundancy, illness or wild card global pandemic - yes?

And romanticising poverty in previous generations is pure bollocks. That nan who kept kids clean and well fed obviously had enough money to do that. She probably didn't have to pay an eye-watering amount of rent to a private landlord because there was no social housing in her area because it hadn't all been sold off, yet.

May172010

I grew up poor in a communist country which at the time was going through a civil war. I was raised by a single mother in a one bed flat. My mum worked in a factory not making much. There was no such thing as benefits there when I was young. No government support.
I never went hungry. Whatever little money my mum had she made sure my sister and I had enough food.
If my mum managed that in those circumstances I don’t understand how parents here can’t do it.
However, I do support giving children free school meals as it’s not their fault.

Same here OP. My mother continued working (cleaning) even during the war for very little money (think the equivalent of £100 per month). She could see our home from her work place and she used to routinely come out to check if our home, with me and my brother in it, was being bombed.There were zero benefits and no food banks, yet we never went hungry because my mom did everything in her power to fight for us, no matter what the circumstances were.

When we moved to Canada she took on 3 cleaning jobs. She had PTSD, anxiety and everything that comes with living in poverty and making it through the war with two small children, but she never complained because the entire purpose of her life was to make ours better.

I cannot help but measure other parents against my mom, against her struggles and everything she's been through. I think it is clear by now that I do not come from a place of priviledge. Quite the opposite actually. Still, I do not understand how parents can let their children go hungry in a place like the UK. £10 can provide a breakfast for a week. Those saying what about the electrity blah blah blah..come on, not having electricity in the UK is not the norm. Even with no electricity, there is a way to feed your children until you can afford to have electricity again. Those saying there is a lack of knowledge when it comes to healthy/inexpensive cooking etc. Use the internet to search for recipes. No internet (which I sincerely doubt), go to a library. There is always a way if you are any kind of parent. To me it just looks like excuse upon exuse when it comes to irresponsible parenting and wrong prioritising. Also it seems some people give up so easily. The money has run out, so there is nothing to be done. I will just sit and see my children go hungry. There is plenty to be done and plenty of help for those who want to be helped. In the UK at least.

Having said all this, it is never the children's fault and I fully support the free school meals program.

Yep, but surely if nan didn't have much money she shouldn't have had kids either?

The issue of children going hungry is wrong on every level. Giving vouchers and free school meals is a sticking plaster in my opinion which should not be removed until something is done to address the wider issues. The profits made by energy companies and some of the large supermarkets should be looked at with a possible corporate tax rise to facilitate.

@Pumperthepumper - sorry no. You can buy cereal in Aldi and put milk in it. There is no need to send kids to school hungry unless there is some serious issue. But we should still have free school meals because it’s for the kids.

Let’s not blame people for being poor but not resolve bad parents for their responsibilities either.

Absolve parents

Those saying what about the electrity blah blah blah..come on, not having electricity in the UK is not the norm. Even with no electricity, there is a way to feed your children until you can afford to have electricity again. Those saying there is a lack of knowledge when it comes to healthy/inexpensive cooking etc. Use the internet to search for recipes. No internet (which I sincerely doubt), go to a library.

Have you heard of pre payment electricity cards? You can't afford to top it up, you don't have electricity - and it's a more expensive tariff than direct debit.

And go to the library when you're broke - that's assuming you live near one.

@eatsleepread

See, I'm torn on this. I saw something on social media the other day, about breakfasts for school children who wouldn't get one. This got me thinking. No matter how you try and justify it, any parent who sends their child to school on an empty stomach is feckless. Porridge is cheap to make, and value cereal and bread are very inexpensive too. If you're the sort of parent who doesn't provide breakfast, then you're cutting other parental corners too, and I don't mean only financially. This won't be a popular view but I stand by it. 100%. There is no excuse for sending your child hungry to school in the mornings.

My kids hate porridge. My 15 year old refuses to eat breakfast and my 12 y/o has the appetite of a bird and eats a banana if I'm lucky. They stuff their faces once home but early morning food does not float their boat apparently. I'm certainly not feckless!

They don't need or qualify for free meals but then neither do politicians.

@FreekStar

Children going to school without breakfast is never a matter of simple poverty. It's usually due to parents who live chaotic disordered lives, have mental illness, drug and alcohol addictions, etc. Simply providing food vouchers for the holiday does little to help some of these families- the problems run deeper in society and can't be fixed by throwing cash their way!

And meanwhile, while we're fixing all that, the children go hungry...

@thatwouldbeanecumenicalmatter

Those saying what about the electrity blah blah blah..come on, not having electricity in the UK is not the norm. Even with no electricity, there is a way to feed your children until you can afford to have electricity again. Those saying there is a lack of knowledge when it comes to healthy/inexpensive cooking etc. Use the internet to search for recipes. No internet (which I sincerely doubt), go to a library.

Have you heard of pre payment electricity cards? You can't afford to top it up, you don't have electricity - and it's a more expensive tariff than direct debit.

And go to the library when you're broke - that's assuming you live near one.

And they're closing libraries, if you hadn't noticed...

So many people have never seen poverty so they cant imagine what it's like.

I know one mum in a four bed detached with a new 4x4 telling me she is skint and another mum.who cant afford fruit telling me she is skint. Another friend telling me they are skint while shopping in waitrose. My mum.thinks shed skint taking home more in pension than I did as a software programer.

So when people say poverty, some people think that means something totally different to choosing between fruit and veg or paying the gas.

They think if you have car you cant be skint but dont realise if that car breaks down you cant repair it and end up house bound
Because people who are that skint dont go around declaring to the world they cant buy fresh food for the kids but people who cant get a range rover but can buy a brand new 4x4 Nissan are saying how hard done by they are.

Lack of awareness due to naval gazing

This is so upsetting. The debate right now shouldn't be about parents ability or willingness to feed their children and crass, snobby comments about growing your own and how easy peasy it is to feed your kids microwaved porridge and water. I am not even going to engage in that bullshit. There are undoubtedly some fundamental issues around shifting cultural norms on parenting and family life and a benefits and taxation system that addresses the deep inequalities. BUT right now, the actual, urgent issue is children are going hungry and this country is run by a bunch of cruel, over privileged shits.

I did my teaching practice many years ago in the most deprived area of stoke on Trent. On my second day the hall ceiling fell in. It was cleared away to the side and children had assemblies in there every day with a black bin liner sellotaped over the hole.

90% of the schools were on free school meals. In my class we had to wash and wash the clothes of at least 5 children every day as they were too smelly to even have in the classroom. One mother was a prostitute and would bring the children to school in her work clothes every day. One day she announced ‘ive just managed to get the youngest little shit into care, 3 more to go’. I’d never seen a needle track in someone’s arm until I shook hands with a parent there. One mother was battered every night by her husband but refused to leave him. Another was sticking by her husband who had abused a 14 year old girl in front of their 6 year old child. Most lived hand to mouth, in cold, damp houses. It was a shock to the system for a middle class girl like me. And yes, at the time I did wonder how they could treat their children like that. Not feeding them breakfast, not supporting them at home, letting them stay up until all hours.

Then a few years ago my young sister was diagnosed with terminal cancer. My life fell apart. I was an educated, well adjusted, financially secure women with a husband in a good marriage. And yet I did things I never dreamed I would do....left my children playing for hours on iPads downstairs while I sobbed in bed, dragged myself through each day, snapping at everyone around them, forgetting to do their homework with them and once, sending them to school having forgotten to give them breakfast.

Mine was just a brief foray into a chaotic life but, when you live that every day and there seems like there is no escape, it’s often very hard to be a good parent. Children should not suffer for that. Every person in that situation is in pain.

Ah yes Nanny0gg, austerity cuts, library closures, no help to feed hungry children, I'm sure there's a trend but I'm failing to spot it just yet. 🤔

You realise only some qualify for free meals many working parents won't and will have less disposable income
Maybe we should be looking at why children are going hungry and if their parents geniunally are struggling or their priorities lie elsewhere

We have struggled financially but my kids have always been fed
Cheap food is availible and I am actually reading on lots of sites plenty of people who receive fsm who don't have an issue with this
We have state benefits , cb etc for food and fsm has always only been whilst at school

Being poor, being unable to work, being unable to find work...there is no shame in this. It happens and it can happen to anyone. Letting your children go hungry while recieving benefits and with food banks around is not acceptable. Ever.
Again, it is not children's fault and they should get free school lunches.