Is hubby being Unreasonable

[gg12346]

I have mentioned this a couple of times earlier but I am not very confident of sending DD to school this year .There is already a high risk alert in my area and the number of cases are increasing .I have diabetes and ds has congenital heart defect ,both are high risk for covid 19 .Ds plays with my neighbors son outdoor with whom we have formed a bubble due to childcare issues .

There has been 7 cases of corona in my child school as well .
Now I have decided everything .I have enrolled in home schooling school .I contacted ds teacher who recommend a tutor who can teach him english and spag .Now obviously ds is a high ability kid and goes to a outstanding school .We have one week left to make a letter to head and dh is today shouting at me that Ds will become a low ability kid if doesn't join school and he is quite upset about about it .Ds is in year 2.

I am just thinking in the larger scheme of things what matters more ?

I think you need to take professional advice as to the transmission risk.

I didnt get you ? You mean we have to talk to the doctors etc ?

I am sure there will be others on here to say how great home schooling is, but imo there are so many benefits to going to school, it's not just academic.

If your DH has issues with the decision I also don't agree this should be one parent's choice.

I think the poor kid should go to school.

yes i think you need to get some medical advice regarding the actual risks and get your anxiety in check before making such a decision

This is not one parents choice. You need to have a joint agreement with your DH. You also need to contact consultant about heart defect. If your DS was not shielding, don’t see how it’s high risk at all. I have vulnerable children and they are in school.

School is more than just education, send him to school.

To be honest I completely understand this and I am also not very keen on homeschooling but what is the other choice I have ? Covid can be transmitted by anything and everything. 70 percent are unsymptomatic .We discussed this with Ds cardiologist who himself went on the ventilator and was just near death. He himself said it's a very personal decision and no one can advise .

dh shouting the odds won't help anything, calm discussion is required. home schooling can be very full on.
yr 2 isn't that 6 /7 ? you say ds is a high ablility child is that a teachers words ? i ask because if that is the case surely school would be better for him.

I think on a decision such as homeschooling both parents have to agree.

Did you discuss this before hand?! This isn’t a one parent decision
Now I have decided everything

But its a decision which you can't make alone. If your hubby wants him in school then you both need to talk to each other and to the medical team looking after your ds.
You don't get to pull your son out of school without the agreement of his father.

Yes we were on mutual agreement but seems like Dh is just panicking as the real date of leaving school is coming.

If the cardiologist isn't saying he needs to shield then I'd send him to school. DD has a congenital heart defect and saw her cardiologist yesterday. Obviously not all defects are the same, but there was no suggestion that it's necessary or advisable to keep her off school.

I don't think that home schooling as a health measure is a great approach tbh.
For home schooling to be successful you need really motivated parents and pupils. Ideally a home schooling support network and regular access to enrichment activities (museums, libraries etc) all of which will be shut/high risk.

It sounds like it's your anxiety which is making you want to home school; I think you should speak to your doctor about this as it does seem as though it will potentially havie a disproportionate impact on your child.

I work with older students who are outside mainstream education (for health not behaviour). Many of the parents consider home schooling but it's incredibly difficult and near impossible to achieve a standard set" of qualifications. That doesn't have to be a disadvantage if the qualifications gained are high quality and good grades but that's very difficult without specialist teaching.

For a primary age child I doubt short term home schooling would lower grades in traditional qualifications but it might make them very reluctant to return to school especially if it's parental anxiety which led to home schooling initially.

Is the neighbour's child still going to school? If yes, and assuming he's similar age to your DC and they won't be social distancing when they are playing, seems like there is a pretty good chance he will pass on anything going round school. So I think if you're taking him out of school because of Covid worries, it's inconsistent to let him keep playing with a child still in school.

I would take medical advice.
My adult dc works and has 2 heart conditions and we have been in scary situations with health a number of times. My rule of thumb is, either email or phone the cardiac nurse in charge of them . She usually gets back quite quickly.
Whilst we have not had to thankfully get in touch with anything covid related, we have had to get in touch when on holiday abroad.
If not then phone your gp, whichever you feel is best and then you both can take a joint decision based on that.
Good wishes.

Not sure why it's obvious your child is high ability or your school is outstanding but anyways.

How has school dealt with the cases? Have they burst the while year or just sent a few kids home? Were there 7 cases across a school of 600 or in a small village school of 40?
My point is it depends how school have handled it really

Why is your dh shouting at you? Had this been discussed already, or have you just sprung this on him as a done deal?

I can understand your concerns, and there's nothing wrong with home schooling if done properly. It needs to be a family decision though that is thought through properly and not just a reactive decision by you made through fear.

Did your cardiologist really say he can't advise? I feel like that's exactly the sort of thing he should be advising on.

From your post OP I'm guessing English isn't your first language. You'd definitely need to get someone to invest time in teaching him to read and write.

Covid can be transmitted by anything and everything in that case are you and DH shielding? why so he still playing with another child who I doubt is shielding?
I think you’re being a bit OTT

get your anxiety in check I really dislike seeing this phrase used when parents are dealing with very real health concerns.

I think a little empathy goes a long way.

Flowers for you op, it is so hard worrying

Has he ever been to school? If he has CHD then he’s always going to be at high risk of any infection, virus, etc. What was your plan before all this started?

A "high ability" child won't morph into a "low ability" child simply by missing school. Academic ability is innate.

You and your DH sound like you both have issues, and perhaps you need to work out a way of sitting down together and discussing your concerns like adults.

Does your DS want to go to school?