to be fed up with the 'them and us' mentality demonstrated on some threads?

[suey2]

Sorry for longstanding mumsnetters if this is another groundhog day topic.
Are we just not all people who want the best for our kids? Can't we have an interesting discussion based on experience and background without resorting to mudslinging based upon someone's background or political leanings?
I often come on mumsnet to learn things from people who do not share my background, current environment or opinions. I am quite willing to be wrong and change my opinion based upon discussions I take part in here.

Some people have very strong opinions and when they 'meet' on MN, they clash. In my experience, internet forums aren't the best environment for really open, friendly debate. You type out your opinion in black and white and then it's there for all to see, disgaree with and slag off. And everyone is sitting at a computer, so it's no holds barred. Of course we are all here because we're mums who love our children - and many of the forums within MN reflect this (lots of great, informative, friendly discussions in Education, Parenting, the Special Needs, the Multicultural parents forum forum etc). But in AIBU / Chat etc it can get heated. To be honest, I love it. I can see why one wouldn't love it, though, but I will leave you with the words 'heat' and 'kitchen' ...in the nicest possible way :-)

suey 2 are you referring to a particular thread, or just in general?

Threads can polarise very quickly for the reason that LoveAngel has given - and sometimes cos the posters are a bit bored/tired and don't mind stirring to get a rise - but this can be helpful to get to the bottom of an issue quickly. (And entertaining too.) But, I agree, not always helpful.

I find the SAHM and WOHM hilarious - because those posting show such an extrordinary limited view of who they are.
If you are numpty enough to say that "SAHM's do x" or "why do WOHM's need to be so y" you are either mixing with phenomonally small minded group of people or you have 'issues'.
When I was a WOHM i didn't have one set of views opinions and values that instantly changed the minute I became a SAHM. And when I meet people and get to know them their daytime occupation is so far down my list of things I find important it barely registers.

I do think sometimes people are negative about groups they regard as 'other' in order to feel more comfortable about where they are.That negativity means certain subjects will always kick off. After a few months here I am spotting those more quickly now and mostly avoid.

pagwatch - I also think the SAHM amd WOHM threads are quite funny. In the real world people just don't give a toss .

it just reflects life god it would be dull otherwise

toomanygraves not a specific thread, just that a few on which i have read in depth, considered, put in my argument and then been called scummy scum amongst other things.
I am not upset or offended, but just think why did i bother? But when the OP is a good question, i would have enjoyed the debate.
FWIW there is nothing i say on here that i would not say in RL.

But pagwatch, you are probably right- i should just not bother! Shame, though

Suey, I just tend to wade into the fray, but report anything to MNHQ that goes against the ethos of the site ie: personal insults.

I have seen a lot of instances lately where people seem to come onto threads and deliberately misinterpret the intentions of the OP.

And won't back down or apologise when this has been pointed out to them.

I don't mind debating or disagreeing, but some of the blatant attention-seeking gets on my nerves.

it is really only a very few threads that are like that. certain threads do bring out strong opinions, and insults from time to time

breast versus bottle and then extendted breastfeeding

WOHM versus SAHM

are two particular arenas

so either wade in and take the flak or steer clear

it is not unreasonable, but it is really only a tiny proportion of mumsnet as a whole

report any personal attacks to mumsnet

yes if it's a personal attack use the report..but don't give up expressing yourself mn only works if there are different views and different people

I suppose it's like a reflection on society as a whole; everyone can't agree on everything or it would be like some weird online utopia.
Personally I try to avoid conflict at all costs because I'm a total chicken :D

As someone who has been on here fairly consistantly for about 3 years now I avoid:
Sahm V Wohm or anything vaguely related
BF V FF
BLW V jars
Anything to do with carparking
Doglovers V Doghaters
There are more but I can't remember them. Just avoid those kind of topics and you'll be ok. there is plenty of stuff going on elsewhere.

'anything to do with car parking' rofl ! So true - which is actually pretty bizarre in the scheme of things.
Suey2, it really is just a few topics that are best avoided so I still find plenty of healthy reasoned debate.
You also start to spot the people that just come to certain threads regularly just to spout. Those who are passionate are easy to spot as they expand and explain their arguements, I usually find them really interesting whether I garee or not - the others are equally easy to spot as they just keep repeating the same points over and over again without accepting any one elses point of view. I sometimes contribute and just ignore the muppets, it is actually quite easy to do. As dear departed dad said - never argue with a drunk or a fool.

sometimes difficult to have a point of view that differs from the majority. no matter how you say things gradually you are worn down and end up being made to look a fool or worse. people twist what you say, and in the end i just give up. but its interesting that the topics that are considered "controversial" usually are the most interesting.

toohot did you actually find anyone to agree with you lol

2 i think, out of about 600.
but even those 2 ran away when things got really bad!

I know what you mean. I have been made out to be right cow on another thread and been called a complete bitch.

I don't say anything on here that i wouldn't say to a persons face. But that's just me, it's a shame others didn't follow suit instead of being bitchy on a forum where no one knows who they are knowing they wouldn't say it in rl to someones face!

Carmenere, darling, you've missed off Private vs state

Otherwise your list is spot on

Oh of course! Private V state, steer well clear of those ones!!

I am fairly forthright in rl SCP, my online persona is pretty much the same as my off line one, anyone who has met me on a meet up would probably tell you that

oh ive been called everything. just have to laugh it off. but i agree. wouldnt say anything on here wouldnt say to rl friends.

has anyone mentioned

"Judgers who admit it" vd "Judgers who say that judging is wrong whilst they judge, but don't realise it"

Surely not hypocritical judgers Twig? on mn? No?

Ah Twig you're talking about judgers who aren't judging because they're right

{grin]

C Section v natural birth always seems to kick off I have noticed.