... to ask if there are very significant things about you/your life that DP/DH does not know

[backtothefuture]

This came in to my mind based on the recent secrets discussion. I have very good/close relationship with DH, we have always done lots of things together, together 25 years, but there are significant things he does not know.

1. A few years ago, one of his closest friends made a pass at me (it was more than once off, it was something over a few weeks/months)

1. Many years ago I had to use some of our savings to help my brother and his business and his family. All sorted out now.

1. I was raped in college (before we met)

For some obvious (and not so obvious reasons) these were all really big issues that I dealt with mostly by myself. I did consider telling DH these things at various points, but as things moved, and over time I just didn't ... and now I feel I can't really, it's the past, and there is nothing to be done.

After reading the secrets thread, I was somewhat surprised that I had these things I've never discussed with DH.

Just wondering if this is somewhat normal or not?

in my view, completely normal. But would never tell anyone if I had any secrets (the clue being the word secret!), even on an "anonymous" forum... these things have a way of getting out.

Normal.

If you used joint savings for number 2 and didn't tell him, that's awful.

Sorry, posted too soon. Yes there is the odd thing my DH doesn't know, but not things that do or potentially could affect us both.

Yes lots that are other people's secrets, the odd one that is mine and then mostly because I wanted to make decisions that relate only to me without being influenced by any one else, even him.

In my view not normal at all and if I found out DH kept 1 or 2 from me, or even did number 2, I would be outraged.

Number 3 is different and I’m sorry that happened to you.