Concern for friend - WWYD

[Pearsapiece]

More if a wwyd rather than aibu.

A friend and colleague of mine has spent the last nearly 2 years loosing weight. She's done incredibly well and I'm so proud of her. She's lost about 6 stone and looks (and clearly feels) absolutely amazing.
She goes to the gym almost daily and chooses her foods wisely. Still drinks a lot as any 27year old would and allows herself a treat at the weekend. All good.

I had no concern about her until a revelation yesterday. A conversation started about nutty things no one knows about you. She said she watches YouTube videos of people eating. When I asked her why, she said because she couldn't eat it she liked to watch other people eating it. Apparently its a very common thing and these people have lots of subscribers so it's clearly 'a thing'.
My worry is that she's bordering the realms of an unhealthy relationship with food. It can't be healthy to miss food so much you watch other people eating it for pleasure?!
Should I say anything to her about this? Warn her to keep an eye on herself or something. I wouldn't even know what to say to her if I did say anything.
Any advice?

I watch videos of people treating road rash and getting wounds stitched up. I find it oddly fascinating. I also like cookie icing videos. If she’s happy and healthy and clearly offered this information to you, I wouldn’t worry. There’s a reason people love watching shows like Man vs Food and Diners, Drive-Ins and Dives.

I watch videos of spa treatments

Some of the ASMR food videos are fascinating!

Meh mukbangs are pretty normal now.

I agree with you op, and I think the first poster has missed your point, which is she missed food so watches others eat because of it. It’s not because she finds it “oddly fascinating”.

However saying something to her will likely not go down well. And I’d hesitate to go there, as there is a potential she takes offence.

I wouldn’t say anything. It does sound strange that she watches videos of people eating however if she is a healthy weight, then it’s less concerning. Would you say anything if she were overweight and watching these videos?

I think people tend to be more concerned when their friends lose weight, rather than when they are fat. I’ve been overweight most of my adult life and every single time I’ve lost weight people start giving opinions, warning me not to lose too much, I’m fine as I am etc. Whereas they all seem perfectly happy when I’m fat.

an anorexic i know spends a lot of time baking

is your friend a healthy weight?

If a friend said that to me I woukd straight up ask her there and then. Perhaps I have a very direct way of speaking with friends. Completely odd.
And I say this as someone who has an unhealthy relationship with food! I wont try and watch videos though as I think that would make me crave the foods!

It’s likely just a biological reaction to loosing 6 stone - as an evolutionary response your become obsessed with food and can’t stop thinking about it. As she starts to eat normally it should go away

I think sje has psychological food issues, but if she's happy as she is and has a reasonably balanced lifestyle then these issues might burn themselves out in time? as she doesn't have her head down the loo and isn't binge gaining its just an insight into her head and people generally are pretty strange imo op!

I recently (at work) attended a presentation from a speaker who was a recovering anorexic. Her advice was to always ask your friends an open question to check they are okay if they say anything about food that gives you a potential concern.

Interesting. I watch what I eat. I’m quite ‘strict’ because I put on weight at nothing and used to be very overweight, like your friend. I still enjoy my family having treats and eating things I won’t. Indulgence by proxy, I guess.
Don’t think I’d ever be interested in watching a stranger eat treat food...but maybe it’s a similar notion for your friend.

People wth eating disorders often do this, however that doesn't mean someone who does it necessarily has an ED. Unless she has other worrying behaviour I wouldn't be too concerned.

I watch Dr Pimple Popper. It has helped me manage my own acne and avoid squeezing and scarring my skin. I see nothing wrong with your friend's behaviour.

I watch people eating too lol. I enjoy it.

I think it's a pretty normal reaction to food deprivation. In
the same way chronically hungry or even starving people will spend a lot of time talking about the food, the dishes they miss etc.

I'm losing weight and have one particular eater I watch on YouTube - although the two aren't related. I didn't mean to enjoy it as I actually hate eating sounds, but it's aesthetically pleasing (colourful, themed) and I landed there through other asmr. I can only bear to watch this one lady though - she has 5million subscribers so I'm not alone.

I don't watch savoury food. Only pretty sweet things like this theme

It's definitely an odd part of the Internet to fall into but I use asmr sound videos to concentrate and relax. Your friend probably also watches people unboxing makeup and tapping on stuff too but maybe thought the food was less weird to admit to in public. ASMR used to be a quiet corner of the Internet, unfortunately it's now been taken over by people trying to sexualize it which is not what it's about at all.

I don’t think it’s any of your business to be honest and I’d be really p*ssed off if a friend tried to have a ‘concerned’ word with me about it in her shoes

I think watching people eat is healthier than overeating. If she needs this just now I can't see a problem. You said she allows herself a treat and a drink at the weekend, so she does eat for pleasure just not every day. And she could swap the alcohol calories for food if she wanted. Seems what she is doing is working. I wouldn't be concerned.

You're making something out of nothing. The issue is with you.

As long as her relationship with food itself isn't unhealthy in what she's actually eating, ie she is eating enough etc, then I think it's fine. It does seem a little odd, but doesn't seem any harm in it, people watch all sorts, especially on YouTube! She wouldn't have lost 6 stone and have that balance at the weekend by the sounds of it if she hadn't figured something that works for her. I quite like some of the food challenges in YT, not sure why.

That video was fascinating, the women's facial expressions at the beginning 🤣🤣

I watch people cooking, baking or decorating cakes when I am craving food I don’t need.

You know how some people watch porn if they can’t have sex? Similar thing.

I wouldn’t say anything to her.

If she is looking good and eating healthily then no I wouldn’t worry. It sound like she was a boredom eater and has replaced that habit with the videos. Over time she will likely let this little crutch go.

@throwingawaymyshot

I watch Dr Pimple Popper. It has helped me manage my own acne and avoid squeezing and scarring my skin. I see nothing wrong with your friend's behaviour.

Me too

I don’t know if it’s that different from people who enjoy ‘reading’ cookery books or watching cookery programmes? If she’s otherwise eating healthily then I wouldn’t think it was an issue my self.