To think I've really messed up

[weltonn]

Got a scary letter from the bank today over an unpaid credit card debt. I'm ashamed to say I totally buried my head in the sand and avoided it until now.

I suffer with crippling anxiety due to other issues unrelated to my debt and have totally struggled to talk about the situation I've gotten myself in. However, I know this is the worst way to deal with it and need to get it sorted once and for all literally for the sake of my life, as I've often had suicidal thoughts because I just cannot see a way out.

I've now been told I've lost my right to pay in monthly instalments and that they will sell my debt elsewhere who will then demand the payment in full or take me to court.

The ironic thing is, I work in finance doing admin and would lose my job if I ever got a CCJ.

I'm terrified and feel so stupid for letting it get this far. I just want it resolved. Is it too late though? My job is at risk

I think I've really messed up this time, haven't I?

Why not contact a debt charity, they will help you sort out your financial problems, they won’t charge you, it will be free help and advice.
One well known one is StepChange and another is Christians Against Poverty CAP you don’t have to be a church goer or Christian to get help from them.
Things will only get worse if you take no action.

Don't panic. I got myself into huge amounts of credit card / store card debt as a young mum who wanted everything perfect for her PFB but didn't have a pot to piss in. They've sent all kinds of threatening letters over the years, but they're all talk. The only people who actually send bailiffs are unpaid council tax (unless you're Dominic Cummings) and even if they'd already sold to debt collectors, they would give you a payment plan anyway so its always fixable. Just phone them and I promise it will be nowhere near as bad as you think. They will want to know your income and expenditure and they will give you a payment plan you can afford.

You'll know from working in finance that they just want to get some cashflow started. It's not in their interests to make the repayment terms impossible for you to meet. If you speak to them directly I'm sure you'll be able to agree a plan. Best of luck to you - you will be out the other side before you know.

The reason they send scary letters is to manipulate people into responding. Once you get in contact, their next manipulation trick is to be really nice to you so that you give them money. It wouldn't be in their interest to frighten people who phoned them up and said 'I'd like to make an arrangement to pay back what I owe you'. Honestly. The hardest bit of this for you is done, now. It can't have been easy to post on here for advice. But there doesn't need to be any more anxiety in this for you. It's just a simple practical process that they'll guide you through.

Just to offer some further comfort OP, I’m a solicitor and while I don’t deal in debt recovery I have colleagues who do. Court is the absolute last option for them - it’s expensive, it leads to unrecoverable costs, and it’s rarely a better outcome for them because a court can’t order you to pay more than you have either, so you would still most likely end up with a repayment plan of a pound per month or similar. So for those reasons they will jump at the chance to agree a repayment plan with you that doesn’t involve going to court - they will only pursue you legally as a true last resort.

Call Christians Against Poverty. They help anyone regardless of faith (they are Christians you don’t have to be!).

They will have seen far far worse than someone ignoring 1k debt, I promise you.

You need a step by step plan to make this situation feel manageable to you. They can help with that

Please just call them, explain and ask what they can do. It's the only way, they're trying to get you to make contact, so do...please.

Good morning OP, hope you slept a little better last night

I've seen your post this morning that says you've skipped meals :( there is support out there for families on a low income, especially at the moment.

Have a look at turn2us.com, there's a benefit calculator, you may be entitled to some universal credit if you have less than 16k savings. If you are entitled to some UC, you may also be entitled to some Council Tax relief, but that's administered by your local council, you'd need to contact them directly when you have a UC award.

You don't mention it, but if anyone in your family is disabled or you care for someone, there are various things you can apply for also.

Other than that, someone talked about money saving expert above, that's a fantastic site for helping you cut back household expenses while you get your head back above water.

Checking in on you @weltonn If you didn't manage to contact the bank today, that's ok, it's not a working day. Just want to reassure you that the first step is always the hardest - and it's so unlikely to be worse than how you feel right now. Just addressing it will make you feel more in control.

I have a fuckton of tips on how to cope with reduced income, will happily PM them. Just take it gently, and know you're not the only person in the world to be paralysed with fear over money. It is terrifying. But you can manage this, I promise.

I haven't rang them yet. Intend to do it today but I'm so scared and don't think I can pluck up the courage

Not meaning to be harsh but if you don't do and continue to stick your head in the sand the problem will get worse and THEN you might end up losing your job. You don't have a choice, you have to take some responsibility here, ring them.

A life lesson that you might do well to learn, is that when you have something difficult or frightening to do, it is far better to face it and do it straight away.
Because often the fear and worry about doing it, is much much worse than actually doing it!
You will feel a great sense of relief and you will have learnt something about yourself, once you have been brave enough to take some action.

If you do nothing, this time next year you could be jobless or homeless.

Calm down afaik if you go through MABS and agree a small payment plan they'll allow it. The debt management agency will speak on your behalf.
I done similar a decade ago.
You can sort it, things will get better.
Speak to the local debt management agency today.

Honestly you can do it. They will have processes in place and deal with hundreds of calls a day with others in similar situations. You have nothing to lose and think of how much better you'll feel by calling and acknowledging the situation rather than worrying about it. If you feel comfortable explain about your mental health as again they will have processes to help and they must treat your fairly. The longer you put it off the worse you will feel/

I know its hugely difficult, but you will feel alot better when you have done it. Not only will the ideas you have in your head be worse than the reality, you will be on the road to fixing them.

I know it’s tough but you’re doing the same thing that got you in a mess, hiding from it.

Grit your teeth, make the call. Honestly it’ll feel great when you’ve done it and I’m sure they’ll sort something for you

Don’t carry on doing what you know makes it worse.

Come on OP - you can do it! You have nothing to lose from phoning them. Hiding from it will make you feel worse in the end. Think of the relief you'll feel if you get it sorted!

You could email the bank's ceo, outlining what you've been told, enclosing an income and expenditure form and make what you consider an offer of a reasonable and affordable payment plan.

I work in debt management giving advice and helping people set up both formal and informal arrangements with their creditors and I can tell you this. You are NOT the first person to be in this position and you are NOT going to be the last. You are NOT alone in this. I understand that you feel embarrassed or even ashamed that it has got to this but please don’t. There is a way forward! It requires a bit of courage from you for the first step but when it’s done you will feel a massive weight off your shoulders! There are not going to be CCJs any time soon for this debt and there will not be bailiffs! Creditors have offered payment breaks over COVID, and they will accept payment plans no matter how small. Like others have said do not leave yourself short when working out what you can pay them. Sit and work out a budget first. Look on Turn2Us to see if you are entitled to any benefits. You can do this, the first call is the hardest to make but once that is done you will feel so much better.

@Starkandhostileworld Very encouraging advice from someone who knows.
Take the step you will feel very relieved.

(((HUG))) 🤚🏼 hold.

@pinkandstripey
&
@Eckhart

Have given you brilliant advice (as well as others).

So have others who have given a handhold and told you it's FAR better just to deal with it.

Honestly, you'll feel LOADS better if you start to put this right, NOT doing anything is going to make it worse AND make you feel worse.

There is NO good to come from birthing your head deeper in the sand!

You said you were ashamed you'd buried your head in the sand...so stop doing it!!

£1000 is a lot of money to you, but it's not to the bank. Follow the advice you've been given and you'll feel empowered & in control

Come on you CAN do this!!

Op, it will be ten minutes of your life that you spend on this phone call. Afterwards you will feel so much better as you will know what is happening and I expect there will be some sort of plan in place. Please, phone them now 💐

Thanks everyone. I'm going to phone them in the next hour. Fingers crossed for me and I will update you all once it's over and done with

It seems scary, I've been there. Stop burying your head. Call them. If the debt has already been passed over then there won't be anything they can't do, but you can contact the debt agency once you know who they are. They will set up a sensible debt repayment plan.

Unless your employer runs regular financial checks on you, how would they know?

Just call them. Stop putting it off.

You’ll feel better when you do.