To think I've really messed up

[weltonn]

Got a scary letter from the bank today over an unpaid credit card debt. I'm ashamed to say I totally buried my head in the sand and avoided it until now.

I suffer with crippling anxiety due to other issues unrelated to my debt and have totally struggled to talk about the situation I've gotten myself in. However, I know this is the worst way to deal with it and need to get it sorted once and for all literally for the sake of my life, as I've often had suicidal thoughts because I just cannot see a way out.

I've now been told I've lost my right to pay in monthly instalments and that they will sell my debt elsewhere who will then demand the payment in full or take me to court.

The ironic thing is, I work in finance doing admin and would lose my job if I ever got a CCJ.

I'm terrified and feel so stupid for letting it get this far. I just want it resolved. Is it too late though? My job is at risk

I think I've really messed up this time, haven't I?

This is my line of work, OP. These sort of letters can be very scary, but the reality is, they can't take more from you than you can afford.

Google 'income and expenditure form'. This is how you work out how much you can afford to pay. Call them tomorrow and tell them you're going to fill one of these in and send it to them. They may have one of their own they want you to use. Ask for more time.

You won't get a CCJ if you do this, because they won't send it to court if you're communicating with them. It costs them money to send it through the court, so they'd much prefer not to do that.

You're in a situation that many, many people get themselves into. It's a standard procedure, and completely normal. It's nothing like as scary as it looks. A bit of communication with them, and you'll have an arrangement to pay them a pound a month, or something similar.

In a Citizen's advice office or similar?? Trust me, they are totally non judgemental, and have seen much, much more complicated situations (I mean that kindly, not belittling your situation in any way) x

Thanks @Eckhart & @pinkandstripey, you've been so helpful and totally calmed me down I feel ready to deal with this tomorrow

@Eckhart Out of curiosity, how far does it have to go for a CCJ to be issued?

I feel so embarrassed though, I can't believe I've let it get this bad

It's really not that bad, OP. I see people regularly who have 50k or 100k debt. Nobody will judge you. You've just run up a debt. Loads of people, all sorts of people, do it. The creditors and debt collection agencies aren't interested in judging your character - they're only interested in the money. They'll be happy if you're acknowledging the debt, even if you're barely paying anything towards it.

It’s easy to say don’t be scared, don’t be anxious. But it IS scary and it definitely was anxiety provoking when I got a few similar letters - despite having a job and on the surface a supposedly ok amount of money.

All I can say is don’t drown. You don’t have to. Call Citizens Advice, Stepchange or if you can’t quite face calling anyone go on the MoneySavingExpert forums and ask for their help because I cannot even describe the wealth of knowledge and support you will be met with. Much love. You can do this.

Ideally come to an arrangement with the bank, but if they have already sold it on or can’t do anything for you I just wanted to reassure you that it isn’t as bad as it sounds. Just keep communicating with whoever is holding the debt and it won’t go any further.

You are all amazing people for responding and assuring me. I felt like I couldn't deal with it before but now I feel like I can face up to my debt. Finally

It would have to go through the court, and they'd have to tell you beforehand that they were going to do that. It's called a 'Letter before action'. It's not the same as saying 'We could take you to court'. Currently they're trying to scare you - it worked. It's called 'bluster', and it's designed to make you contact them. The reason they need you to be in contact is that if 6 years go by wherein you don't acknowledge the debt, it would be statute barred, meaning you wouldn't need to pay it back at all. So they would lose the money.

You could choose to wait for the LBA, and contact them then. How long is it since you acknowledged the debt? Sometimes they start blustering when the 6 years is coming up.

OP, don't freak out. I was in a similar position last year with my tenancy, and was actually called to court because I'd got so far into arrears. I was going out of my head with panic, until I finally emailed and explained the situation.

It was bloody awful, I was so ashamed, because I really, really had so many chances to have prevented it getting that far, but I totally froze and let it get worse & worse until I was at risk of a CCJ & eviction. But I did contact them, we did agree a repayment plan, I didn't get a CCJ, and I'm still in my house. Every single month I pay off just a little more than was agreed in my repayment plan, and the little feeling of relief I have makes up for all those weeks of worry.

They want your money, basically. Bailiffs won't be able to reclaim the same amount by taking & selling on your stuff, it won't have the same value. So deep breath. Just by starting to talk to them will take away the fear of brown envelopes & unknown numbers calling you. If you're reasonable with them, they're more likely to come to an agreement with you.

@Eckhart I was paying my CC until earlier this year, just after lockdown and furlough. We lost out on a significant amount of earnings due to COVID and its just been so financially tough since then, literally living from hand to mouth. There's been times where I've skipped meals just so my DS could eat as we didn't have enough food in. It genuinely has been a challenging situation

@sadeyedladyofthelowlandsea Thank god you got sorted god bless you x

You'll be fine, weltonn

They're not legally allowed to demand money that you need for bills and food, and, to a surprisingly high extent, hobbies/new clothes etc.

A lot of people have had the same thing happen recently. In the nicest possible way, for them, you'll just be one in a faceless crowd. Call them, do an income and expenditure sheet, ask them if they'll accept £1 a month. You don't even have to explain your situation to them, so they won't be able to judge you. They'll probably say yes to £1 a month, and that they'll review it in 6 months. Don't be worried about this. You'll just fill in another income and expenditure sheet, and if you still can't afford it, they still can't demand it.

You're not going to get a CCJ, so your job is safe.

I'm glad you're feeling better

I totally agree with what @Echkart is telling you - I couldn't believe they were even saying to me 'What about takeaways? Haircuts? How much do you spend on those each month? Books & toys for your kids?' They want the money back - and it's more likely they'll get it if they give you an achievable amount to pay off.

You can do this, promise. If I did it, then so can you It's just facing up to it that's hardest. If you've got an email address to contact them with, use that first, so you can be sure of what you've told them. It's better to have it in writing if you start to panic again.

Eckhart and others have given really good advice.

I have not been in this position so consider myself very fortunate but I just wanted to say take their advice because it will make you feel tons better & will stop you worrying/stressing and it getting worse .

I wanted to send you a virtual hug too

Call them, find out exactly where you stand (have they passed it if not how long will it be until it is etc) if you find it stressful dealing with them look into companies like step change. They can communicate with them on your behalf. If it’s more than just one cc they will give you advise about the other debts too. Maybe consider a debt management plan. It takes the stress out of dealing with it your self and maybe help with other issues in your budget so you don’t have to go with out a meal. I’ve been there it’s hard.

Will let you all know how it goes tomorrow, fingers crossed for me. I can't handle a bad outcome 😞

How much income have you lost? Have you checked if you're eligible for any additional support eg UC?

There are online calculators that will give you a rough idea something you can do over the weekend.

Then Monday contact a reputable debt charity - Christians against poverty, stepchange and cab are all relatively good on this

But for support and advice on benefits and other support I would recommend you contact your local council, the relevant people here are called welfare rights advisors but different areas have different names for them, basically ask for the people that advise and support re benefits claims.

You shouldn't be having to skip meals!

I've been there and done that when I didn't know any better and when the benefits system still included Cm in calculations even if I wasn't getting it regularly.

Anyhow, look into your eligibility.

Also have you cut your outgoings down as far as possible inc switching suppliers?

Mners and forumites on mse site are very happy to advise and help others on such matters.

Please don't worry this is really not the huge disaster you feel it is at the moment.

I have severe mh issues and I struggle with anxiety around such things too but the best thing is to talk to people, communicate with creditors and get the help and advice you need.

It really can be dealt with, to the point I think within 3-6 months it will be nothing but a very unpleasant memory.

Have a look at followkng myfrugalyear on Instagram, I think her tips might help you with your state of mind wrt money.

I am sure you can get this sorted out, I am just going by watching these TV programmes about people in who have debts. I am sure a lot of people just dismiss things for a long time because of worries etc, but there are places that will help you out with this situation. I hope you can get sorted soon, and stop all the worry. !

[quote weltonn]@pinkandstripey I feel so embarrassed though, I can't believe I've let it get this bad I don't want to be judged [/quote]
It’s a grand OP. Would you rather you were judged for a quite minor debt (which you won’t be and wouldn’t be for a larger amount) or lose your job because you keep your head in the sand?

It will all be fine and no one is judging you. But I really hope this is a lesson too. x

Put yourself in bank's position. All they want is the money...court orders/bailiffs etc are a real ballache for them and so will be an absolute last resort, especially as the debt is unsecured. The letters you receive are designed to be threatening - don't fall for them. If you call the bank to sort this out, I'm sure they will be very accommodating.

Previous advice has been great,
Yes , yes - call the bank! Think about it - you will reach a human, they are doing a job. They won’t be angry like your mum might be if you confessed to kicking a ball through the kitchen window again! They will help you figure out next steps, they just need to talk to you.

Put your big girl pants on, make the call, once it’s done do something lovely - have a bath, go for a jog, have a bar of chocolate, watch a funny movie.

It will be absolutely fine. I know exactly how terrifying it is, how sick with dread you feel whenever the letterbox clatters, how it takes over your brain even though you are going “la la la I’m not thinking about it.” It’s a horrible feeling. Once you get a grip on it, you will feel better m inch by inch.

I found it a huge relief to talk to someone - either a really sensible friend, relative, colleague or a debt charity. It is nothing to be ashamed of. Good luck xx