AIBU or is Mumsnet particularly hysterical?

[hellisotherpeopleandhorlicks]

In the last twenty minutes I've read threads on societal collapse, civil unrest, war all breaking out in the next year. I've seen people hysterically telling an OP to leave a husband or slept in accidentally, and others encouraging people to panic buy for Brexit while disputing the fact that what they are encouraging is in fact panic buying.

Is Mumsnet generally a good representation of people's views in your circles do you find? Or do people post their true feelings here, ones they wouldn't speak out loud do you think? IE anxieties about things like civil unrest?

I'm just curious really as to whether people read threads on mumsnet and feel that they're a bit OTT and scare mongering or whether they think they're a good representation of the general vibe in their area or circle?

I hear you op. It's a parallel universe here and I'm convinced the majority of threads are total made up bullshit. It's entertaining though!

It fascinates me how quickly someone always has to try and derail a thread with an argument (see hysteria as a case in point) I think there's a coven of posters who just hang around waiting to try and make themselves feel superior

@herecomesthsun please do provide a more appropriate word for the effect of one person’s dramatics whipping others up into the same drama

This is why hysteria is being used here. The effect on a group

So no one is telling you you are not permitted to use this language, but likewise no one can stop me from pointing out the linguistic pitfalls

I find people who seek to educate me on things I already know beyond tedious. Is there a term for the group effect of that

Lot

It’s a mixed bag. You’ve got amazing women who are passionate about women’s rights who have increased awareness of modern day women’s issues, you’ve got people from abusive relationships who relate posters issues to their own and advise, you’ve got a huge amount of kindness/support around miscarriage, illness, personal challenges and loss.

AIBU is feisty by nature and a board I stay away from. Sometimes AIBU type posters treat the CHAT board like it’s AIBU .

The best supportive boards are the ones dedicated to specific topics. There are lots.

I think youre exploring the wrong bits of mn for you

I agree, some of the comments are actually disturbing,, not because they think that way but because they think it’s normal or healthy. And post like it is.

If each post had an aibu/ainbu voting button I think some posters would be surprised at how many folks read their posts and think that’s so unhealthy/ott/disturbing etc.

Sorry posted by accident! Was going to say there is a lot of hysterical people on this site. It does add to the experience though as I doubt many people would bother visiting it if there was only level headed, considered people posting.

If they weren't over the top there would be no fun reading them. Let's be honest. I take everything on here with a pinch of salt.

Just looked quickly at the fabric conditioner thread (on Aibu )
Wow.
I find the nhs & teacher bashing bad on here. I would of thought after homeschool some people might understand teaching and give them some slack
🤷🏻‍♀️
Will get flames for that.
Yes posters can be ott. Then covid threads showed that.
Yes to the pet threads , you can't have a dog unless you don't work , don't have children and you must have 4 acres of garden. Oh and it must be a rescue , especially a greyhound.
The relationship board. Every man must be having an affair if he was 5 mins late from nipping to Tesco for a pint of milk. Then it's find all documents, kick him out and change the locks.
But I do find there are many posters who are rational . Many give good advice from family law, domestic violence , mental health etc
I have had lots of support on mn over the years under a different name. Posters kept me from climbing on the ceiling and advice they gave me I am forever grateful.

The COVID hysteria was a sight to be seen.

So many posters saying things (and they still are to this day) like "No laundry detergent is not essential STAY THE FUCK HOME" and my favourite "If getting your favourite biscuits is worth killing your nana for then go right ahead".

Pathetic little snivelling saddos, secretly loving every minute of inducing anxiety in others

I think you're being a bit hysterical yourself. Of course the people who are worried about worst case scenarios are more likely to start threads or comment on them I don'tthinkthe majority of people hereare building bomb shelters in their bacl garden.

I'd say hysterical is a pretty fitting word to use, after all by definition Someone who is hysterical is in a state of uncontrolled excitement, anger, or panic

I'd say a lot of people comment in anger or panic, especially panic and especially on AIBU or COVID boards. Just because a word has been used to describe women in the past doesn't mean it can never be used

I think Mumsnet is a good example of the simmering anxiety that’s sitting just underneath the faux calm of many people currently.

So all words which have been previously mostly ascribed to one sex are not banned?
Interesting idea

Well, some people seem angered and panicky about fabric conditioner. One woman won't give her son's friend a lift to school because his uniform smells of fabric conditioner. Poor lad.

[quote AuntieJoyce]@herecomesthsun please do provide a more appropriate word for the effect of one person’s dramatics whipping others up into the same drama

This is why hysteria is being used here. The effect on a group

So no one is telling you you are not permitted to use this language, but likewise no one can stop me from pointing out the linguistic pitfalls

I find people who seek to educate me on things I already know beyond tedious. Is there a term for the group effect of that [/quote]
re effect of one person whipping up others' emotions a group, I totally didn't get that from the OP.

You might want

• rhetoric
• oratory
• emotional bombast

perpetuated by

• a demagogue
• an agitator
• an opportunist
• possibly a politician, name no names

I do have a thesaurus [ grin]

These suppose though that the person knows what they're doing, in inciting emotion in their listeners. Like Marc Antony inflaming the crowd after Caesar's death.

There are other words for the person themselves being very swayed by emotion.

If you mean someone being overwhelmed with emotion (who isn't mentally unwell, but whose perspective is a bit distorted) then i would use

emotional
upset
got this out of proportion

Catastrophising is a psychological term that means, as you'd guess, someone who sees catastrophes in relatively small things, making a mountain out of a molehill, as a sort of psychological habit. It isn't an insult. It is a way of naming the habit so the person can see what they are doing and then be in a better position to change the habit. So it could be a very positive step to recognise this.

I would never as a feminist tell someone they were being hysterical.

Hysterical has a sad history in medicine and has been used up till quite recently in psychiatry to describe some symptoms of mental illness and it is a really unfortunate term to use in daily use.

But then, I'd never call someone psychotic in day to day talk either, unless using the word technically.

sorry, in a group

Hysterical is such the better word. Explains all that above succinctly.

Mn is my window into worlds which are so different to my own. My world (farming and the countryside) provokes many angry feelings on here.
Sometimes I think there is an army of wee angry typists in a basement somewhere bashing out nonsense stories.
There are rarely any gray areas in MNet land. You must hold a fixed position which never wavers.

Mumsnet is my guilty pleasure as it’s nuts. Honestly, some posters on here are like nothing I’ve ever known.

It’s like they have to hide it all the crazy in real life and let it rip on here.

@GlummyMcGlummerson

The COVID hysteria was a sight to be seen.

So many posters saying things (and they still are to this day) like "No laundry detergent is not essential STAY THE FUCK HOME" and my favourite "If getting your favourite biscuits is worth killing your nana for then go right ahead".

Pathetic little snivelling saddos, secretly loving every minute of inducing anxiety in others

My favourite was somebody getting jumped on for going to the shop for just milk.

They were told to put cheese in their tea.

I think this thread is a bit hysterical itself. If you actually look at MN today most threads are nothing to do with social breakdown. Yes there are a few but that's reflective of real life. The majority of people are proportionately concerned but mainly caught up in the miniature of their own lives, some people are blissfully ignorant and some are panicking to an unhelpful degree. That's life. People don't react the same way to the world and there'll always be a spectrum.

Yanbu

'and others encouraging people to panic buy for Brexit while disputing the fact that what they are encouraging is in fact panic buying.'
This one I found hilarious as they will say things like 'its being prepared 'and 'stocking up' when it is panic buying and the same thing but they will argue it isnt as apparently it is done in an unpaniced state and beforehand....

@herecomesthsun but none of the examples that you provided are actually a synonym for mass hysteria.

Your orators are deliberately choosing to influence the masses, whereas the feature of hysteria is that it’s involuntary. Like mass panic.

I'm not normally an anxious person but I feel really stressed tonight after reading some of the things on here

OP’s second comment above

[quote AuntieJoyce]@herecomesthsun but none of the examples that you provided are actually a synonym for mass hysteria.

Your orators are deliberately choosing to influence the masses, whereas the feature of hysteria is that it’s involuntary. Like mass panic.

I'm not normally an anxious person but I feel really stressed tonight after reading some of the things on here

OP’s second comment above[/quote]
So

1 your post was actually the first mention of "mass hysteria" on this thread.

1. One person saying they feel anxious reading something isn't mass hysteria

1. Other terms for collective mental illness on wikipedia if you like.

These aren't terms I've used myself, though. I can't remember having used the phrase "mass hysteria" in conversation. It again often means the speaker or writer is discrediting some other people's point of view without listening to what they are saying. For example, a quick google shows right wing articles saying that concern about covid is "mass hysteria".

1. I don't see "mass hysteria" on Mumsnet. I see some people with strong opinions having enthusiastic arguments. I quite like that. I think the quality of debate is often intelligent and informed as a lot of the posters, while often being female, are highly skilled professionals and I value that. Living through a pandemic, being isolated, worrying about work or children's education is all very stressful and I find Mumsnet helps with that rather than makes it worse (else I wouldn't be logging on). I think it's a valuable, supportive community.

1. by the way referring to the OP, LTB is not hysterical, I think it is usually a sort of in joke.

One person’s comment is not sufficient to make a thread OTT - a term which was mentioned in the OP - it’s the collective pile on

I think it’s fairly clear we are talking about a collective effect

Words change and evolve and the use of mass hysteria when discussing COVID 19 Is a perfect example.

I can see we’re not going to agree. You are taking offence at the modern usage of hysteria and trying to unnecessarily educate us. Hysteria as used on this thread is well understood unlike terms that you are having to trawl the Dictionary and Wikipedia for