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AIBU?

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Original poster

To ask if you remember all of your babys birth

87 replies

StrawberryBlossom234 · 16/10/2020 21:00

I had a baby a year ago and before thre pushing stage all I remember is being on the birthing ball screaming for an epidural, I dont remember how or why I got back onto the bed and that I never got the epidural and my partner is useless with memory so can't gu e me an answer either. Please tell me im not the only one thats forgotten some of the things

OP posts:
Samster1815 · 16/10/2020 21:07

If you had the entonox (has and air), then the memory loss is probably from that. Nitrous oxide gives you amnesia; it’s why it’s so good as a dental sedative for kids as it relaxes them, and makes them forget it happened.

If you didn’t have entonox it may be a protective aspect of memory loss due to the trauma of it.

I didn’t have entonox and remember all of it but I do deal with entonox frequently in work.

Original poster
StrawberryBlossom234 · 16/10/2020 21:09

I had the gas and air and I had the diamorphine but that was 6 hours prior as I was progressing very slowly

OP posts:
Pyewhacket · 16/10/2020 21:10

Yep. All a tad hazy too , and I had three.

Stephenfrylust · 16/10/2020 21:12

I can remember bits but I had gas and air. It allowed me to drift off to my happy place!

Redwolf1 · 16/10/2020 21:14

First baby labour was 17hrs, awful and I remember bits but not all, I know it was hell and I've probably blocked lots of it out

Second labour was 4hrs and exactly the labour i wanted. I had gas and air but can remember pretty much all of it. I guess because it was only 4hrs I wasnt as tired and stressed and can remember more

YouBoggleMyMind · 16/10/2020 21:15

There's about 4 or so hours missing from my labour. 4-8cm. I had gas and air and diamorphine.

AlohaMolly · 16/10/2020 21:15

Nope I don’t. DS is 4 and I felt really traumatised by the birth. I said to the midwife on one of her post birth visits that I couldn’t remember a lot of it and she said I could request a run through of the notes with her. So I did!

She came over and went through my birth notes with me. It took an hour or so and she explained what everything meant and why things happened. There were whole sections I didn’t remember, and it’s I half remembered but didn’t understand. It was really useful and very healing for me. I wonder if you could ask your health visitor if jr would be possible?

OnlyFoolsnMothers · 16/10/2020 21:15

Yes I remember it- every bloody awful second of it. Just had gas and air though

maddening · 16/10/2020 21:15

I do remember it all. I didn't get gas and air as the mw had hooked it up wrong. No other pain killers so all clear memory wise.

emsyj37 · 16/10/2020 21:15

I think we are biologically programmed to not fully remember - otherwise nobody would have more than one!
I had a c-section under GA first time and have very sketchy memories of the whole night, then had two very straightforward, positive, manageable home births - and my memories of those are very patchy too. I think it is normal. Are you concerned about your experience?

VeggieSausageRoll · 16/10/2020 21:17

I remember all of mine, but I had an early epidural (before induction had even started) so zero pain involved. I'm sure that's a large part of being able to remember it all.

Popcornismandatory · 16/10/2020 21:18

I remember everything but I didn't have gas & air - twins are now 22 Grin

Original poster
StrawberryBlossom234 · 16/10/2020 21:18

I'm not concerned, I just wasn't sure if it was normal not to remember bits and pieces to be honest the time frame that I cant remember was my "transitition" which I beleive is the worst part pain wise so thats proba ly why I dont remember

OP posts:
PatchworkElmer · 16/10/2020 21:18

If you can’t remember and it’s bothering you, it’s worth exploring a birth debrief. I had one and it answered lots of questions. It did really upset me too though- apparently DS was delivered onto me and then taken away when the realised he wasn’t breathing. I was really upset that I couldn’t remember that, but I think I’ve blocked it out (for obvious reasons).

WatchTooMuchBelowDeck · 16/10/2020 21:19

No I don't remember much of my first, I was drugged up after failed induction and emergency section. Glad I don't remember, I was pretty sleepy and happy.

2nd was a planned section and I was 'sober' throughout. I would much rather have been drugged up as it is a long, weird and not very pleasant experience after the baby is born while they put your bits back in place. 2 years later though I can't remember more than just snippets but that could be my terrible memory anyway.

With my first I went over and over the circumstances trying to piece it all together. I think it's such an unusual experience it takes a while to process it whether it goes well or not.

Ruthietuthie · 16/10/2020 21:19

My labor was so traumatic that I barely remember. The PTSD, waking up in the night screaming in terror, that dominated the first weeks faded quite quickly, but I don't have memories that replace them. I do remember that it was pain unlike I had ever thought possible, that I thought I would die (and in hindsight, I was right that things were going very wrong). I do sort of remember seeing my son, seeing my blood spraying the walls, then feeling very dizzy before I lost consciousness(I was bleeding out at that point).
I feel sad that I don't remember his birth. Going through what happened with my midwife really helped me get over the trauma.

TillyTheTiger · 16/10/2020 21:19

I remember every amazing second of my 2nd birth... but it only took 4.5 hours from start to finish.
My first birth is just a nebulous haze of agony which went on for days and I had no idea what was happening, I barely remember any of it.

BillyAndTheSillies · 16/10/2020 21:20

I thought I remembered them until a friend of mine mentioned how she'd blacked out after the epidural because her blood pressure went so low and immediately remembered that that had happened to me - about 2 years later.

Justkeeprollingalong · 16/10/2020 21:21

I remember every awful minute of the first and every slightly less awful minute of the second. 2 very big babies with the first one breech and no pain relief. Many years ago but really, it shouldn't be allowed!

DisgruntledPelican · 16/10/2020 21:21

Most of it, if not the detail. Interesting to hear upthread about Entonox and memory loss.

The only disparity is the time between the head being delivered and the rest of the baby - it seemed like seconds to me, but DP reckons about 15 minutes. Annoyed that I can’t remember what the big digital clock on the wall said!

seayork2020 · 16/10/2020 21:21

The hospital knew i was having an epidural before I went in (I was induced) but my labour lasted 13hours, I was fully awake the entire time and remember clearly the beginning and then the birth itself but the whole thing feels like a couple of hours not 13 not sure why it took so long (am observation not a compliant)

OntheWaves40 · 16/10/2020 21:22

Well I think I do but how can I be sure?!

ShatnersBaboon · 16/10/2020 21:24

I can't remember much, particularly with my youngest. It was a very, very long labour, and I think exhaustion forced my brain to cut non-essential functions like memory.

RedDiamond · 16/10/2020 21:25

I remember every single second of their births. The first was in hospital and I was given an epidural but declined the top up as I was not in pain at all.

The second came SOOOOOO quickly that I had him at home with no pain killers whatsoever. The only fucking painful part was the sewing up afterwards.

I am a female you want to hate as I had no pain whatsoever with either of my births. Apparently big hips and size 8 feet help alot.

Twizbe · 16/10/2020 21:27

I remember the highlights of my kids' births but not all the details.