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AIBU?

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Phone and sofa - driving me mad

2 replies

Stuckinnow · 15/10/2020 14:32

I am WFH due to Covid. Have a toddler who is at nursery 2 days a week. . DP works outside of house. Since DC was born (&probably before but I didn't notice it then as it didn't matter) DP's default position is the sofa. He comes home and as soon as possible, wants to be on the sofa, phone in hand. He has some jobs like tidying up toys once DC in bed but will never voluntarily do anything extra - like wipe a kitchen work surface, hoover, sweep floor etc. without being asked and either complains and feels it's unnecessary work (he doesn't mind an unclean work surface he would say) or does a half assed job. He is lazy and inattentive. He kicks the toys into their place as he can't be bothered bending down. At weekends, he wants to be out all the time. Finds time at home boring - can't see that sometimes stuff has to get done and just lives for his own pleasure. Often in his own world, not listening to a word said. Can ask him multiple times to do something and he still "forgets". He can't see the problem and says it's me. I don't think I'm BU but how common is this and how much would it make you consider finishing things?

OP posts:
goisey · 15/10/2020 14:34

This is very common.
I personally would finish the relationship.
I wasn't put on this earth to be someone's unpaid housekeeper.
I want an equal partner.
It's possible.

Pelleas · 16/10/2020 07:40

You're both working, so you should both be pitching in with the housework - your DP doesn't have any excuse for lazing around or absenting himself. If he wants to live in the house, he needs to pull his weight.

From what you say about him finding home 'boring' and living in his own world, it sounds as though he's already checked out of your family life.

If he can't change his attitude, I would definitely be thinking about finishing it.

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